Hello
Didn't read the whole thread, but just thought I'd add my experience. I posted in the other marijuana thread a few months ago. Good to hear you're feeling better OP.
The tipping point in my life was when I started to smoke marijuana. I was an angry binge drinker from the age of 15 - 20 and I suffered from depression and anxiety. It was a horrible cycle that kept getting worse. After a failed suicide attempt that I don't remember due to severe intoxication, I thought it might be time to change a few things. But being sober was extremely difficult to maintain socially, so a female friend of mine offered to hang out a bit and smoke some weed.
From age 20 - 21 I lost 20kg, which brought me back into a healthy weight category. My marks at uni went up from low 60s to high 70s/low 80s. And, the greatest thing that has happened to me in my life thus far also happened: the introspection, self evaluation and spiritual honesty that I had been lacking my entire life just slapped me in the face and I realised that I had some issues to address. I knew I had depression, and I suspected that I had NPD and OCD (never, ever would have suspected autism, funnily enough). I went to a psych and in 4 weeks I was diagnosed with endogenous depression, reactive depression, anxiety disorder, OCD and AS/HFA. The world started to make sense. My reactive depression was largely a result of social anxiety from AS and not understanding why I seemed to view things so differently to others, so that's pretty much completely gone now. My endogenous depression is mitigated by my new healthy lifestyle as well, which is a product of this wonderful new outlook on life. I don't suffer any more.
As for my AS traits specifically, I agree with what was said earlier about marijuana opening doors that autism shuts. While I find that other drugs like MDMA and ketamine seem to make me MORE autistic (major sensory overload, and I stop communicating in language and use noises and facial expressions instead), marijuana allows me to look at situations with a sort of "neurotypical empathy". It's worth noting that it's not just when I'm stoned that I can do it. It's like it's a skill that I learnt and can use at my disposal now. I think it's to do with the breaking down of ego that comes from marijuana and the psychedelic drugs (LSD, psilocybin, etc).
I understand it's a drug, and it's a drug of addiction. Crippling addiction that can really sneak up on people. But it is the responsibility of the individual to make good choices for themselves. Having been addicted to alcohol in the formulative years of my adult life, I have no negative feelings towards that drug at all, because my addiction was my own fault. Smoking anything isn't great for you either - if it's an issue then get a vaporiser. Buy some mixing herbs if you don't want to mix tobacco with your marijuana. And keep your recreational habits in their place - it's easy to become demotivated and just smoke all day.
TL;DR - Marijuana completely changed my life for the better.
Didn't read the whole thread, but just thought I'd add my experience. I posted in the other marijuana thread a few months ago. Good to hear you're feeling better OP.
The tipping point in my life was when I started to smoke marijuana. I was an angry binge drinker from the age of 15 - 20 and I suffered from depression and anxiety. It was a horrible cycle that kept getting worse. After a failed suicide attempt that I don't remember due to severe intoxication, I thought it might be time to change a few things. But being sober was extremely difficult to maintain socially, so a female friend of mine offered to hang out a bit and smoke some weed.
From age 20 - 21 I lost 20kg, which brought me back into a healthy weight category. My marks at uni went up from low 60s to high 70s/low 80s. And, the greatest thing that has happened to me in my life thus far also happened: the introspection, self evaluation and spiritual honesty that I had been lacking my entire life just slapped me in the face and I realised that I had some issues to address. I knew I had depression, and I suspected that I had NPD and OCD (never, ever would have suspected autism, funnily enough). I went to a psych and in 4 weeks I was diagnosed with endogenous depression, reactive depression, anxiety disorder, OCD and AS/HFA. The world started to make sense. My reactive depression was largely a result of social anxiety from AS and not understanding why I seemed to view things so differently to others, so that's pretty much completely gone now. My endogenous depression is mitigated by my new healthy lifestyle as well, which is a product of this wonderful new outlook on life. I don't suffer any more.
As for my AS traits specifically, I agree with what was said earlier about marijuana opening doors that autism shuts. While I find that other drugs like MDMA and ketamine seem to make me MORE autistic (major sensory overload, and I stop communicating in language and use noises and facial expressions instead), marijuana allows me to look at situations with a sort of "neurotypical empathy". It's worth noting that it's not just when I'm stoned that I can do it. It's like it's a skill that I learnt and can use at my disposal now. I think it's to do with the breaking down of ego that comes from marijuana and the psychedelic drugs (LSD, psilocybin, etc).
I understand it's a drug, and it's a drug of addiction. Crippling addiction that can really sneak up on people. But it is the responsibility of the individual to make good choices for themselves. Having been addicted to alcohol in the formulative years of my adult life, I have no negative feelings towards that drug at all, because my addiction was my own fault. Smoking anything isn't great for you either - if it's an issue then get a vaporiser. Buy some mixing herbs if you don't want to mix tobacco with your marijuana. And keep your recreational habits in their place - it's easy to become demotivated and just smoke all day.
TL;DR - Marijuana completely changed my life for the better.