Aspie relationship issues, trying to understand and be supportive

[LucyPurrs]

BTW I should have included asking her for feedback on how you can be supportive should be done at a time when she isn't stressed. I agree just backing off a bit and giving her time to quiet down without trying to problem solve, asking questions, trying to engage in discussion sounds like it might be best until she's ready for your support. Maybe just sit quietly nearby without trying to engage her in anything.

 

[Tom]

It really can be rather difficult to figure out the best methodology. Whether NT or Aspie, people are pretty unique. Don't give up hope though. If the core love is strong, the learning never stops and you can find new solutions very long into relationships even after you thought changes were unlikely. Typically when dealing with an aspie I would err on the side of giving space and time. If they are already stressed most need large ammounts of time to detox. But you can help in small ways. Look for small things you can do that show you care, like make them a cup of tea. This is supportive and reassurring without being intrusive. And when they do start to talk, stop what your doing and listen.