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Aspies and Facebook

I would like Facebook a lot more if it wasn't for all the privacy issues in their TOS. I don't give out my real name online and don't appreciate that it's mandatory to give your real name. They constantly badger and harrass me for things that is none of their damn business like my past addresses, where I work, my school, and everything else. (I joined years before a phone number became mandatory, so I keep my account active just to spite them.) If they want all that, then they can shell out a buck-fifty on Intellius.com, and I figure they'll be best of buddies because Intellius.com has no respect for anything but their bank account either. I avoid Google like the plague because it is a plague and I do not approve of stalking, lies, deceit, or false advertising. Their customer service is awful too. Twitter I don't like simply because I find the character limit highly frustrating and I don't like being interrupted.

I like to email and I've found text messaging to be incredibly useful. I can read it as many times as I want if I didn't understand it the first time and not feel stupid like when I have to ask somebody to keep repeating something. Another perk to texting is being able to get answers to short questions, like asking the location of a relative when we're supposed to meet somewhere. My mom has also taken advantage of it by texting me before she calls because she knows I'm constantly busy working or tending the family and she knows how much I hate unexpected phone calls.

Smartphones, however, I never intend to own. Those are NOT friendly for people with issues. The hinge on a standard flip-phone is a wonderful handle so my bad grip isn't as likely to drop it. Smartphones? Nothing to hold on to whatsoever. I don't know how many times I've nearly broken my husband's phone because it has no grip. My grandmother's phone is just as bad, it's one of those slide-out keyboard phones, and it's a slick plastic too. And I can't get it through her thick head that I those are very difficult for me to use, and she's all the time trying to get me to answer her business calls at the office instead of passing it off to somebody who can actually hold the evil thing.
 
I'm not on Facebook because I want to be, but because I have to be for "professional" reasons. That and a favourite message board of mine migrated there. I joined in 2007, pretty much stopped looking at it in 2008, deactivated my profile in 2011, and reactivated in 2014.

I've only got a few dozen friends. This is because I choose to let them seek me out rather than vice versa.

And one social media account is plenty.
 
I regret ever using FB because it will own me forever. I just entered a statement to everyone explaining why I dislike FB and telling them that if they really want to communicate with me, I prefer email. I do believe that my Aspiness makes me uncomfortable on social media. What was I ever thinking????? I am certainly not very social:eek:.
 
FB is handy for arranging meets, particularly since my less than thirty friends live in different cities or countries. I also use it to read articles. Other than that, I don't use it much, and as Ashe stated, its promps are annoying. Linkin is the same, but I use that far less, and again I have less than 20 'connections'. The only social website I use everyday is deviantart, since I can get feedback on art as well as give feedback, anyone can join (you don't have to be a harty-darty snob), there are forums, you can do art features, and nobody who knows me is on there. It would be nice to know artists, but I don't, so devart it is.
 
AsheSkyler said:
Smartphones, however, I never intend to own. Those are NOT friendly for people with issues. The hinge on a standard flip-phone is a wonderful handle so my bad grip isn't as likely to drop it. Smartphones? Nothing to hold on to whatsoever. I don't know how many times I've nearly broken my husband's phone because it has no grip. My grandmother's phone is just as bad, it's one of those slide-out keyboard phones, and it's a slick plastic too. And I can't get it through her thick head that I those are very difficult for me to use, and she's all the time trying to get me to answer her business calls at the office instead of passing it off to somebody who can actually hold the evil thing.
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I have a smart phone largely because I don't have other options. I honestly believe they were designed to bee fragile so that they would have to be replaced more often. They are not designed ergonomically, and thus easily dropped. They are also very thin with no built in shock absorption. They sell those cases separately, and they are a good investment, but they wouldn't be necessary if the devices were designed properly in the first place. Just this past year a shattered a phone by dropping it less than three feet. That is just not acceptable.

As for all of the apps, I don't use many, but have found the internet access to be useful, especially for work. If I am not busy I can research opportunities for my clients in the community, look up recipes, or learn more about my field in general. It was actually that research that lead me here.
 
Datura said:
I have a smart phone largely because I don't have other options. I honestly believe they were designed to bee fragile so that they would have to be replaced more often. They are not designed ergonomically, and thus easily dropped. They are also very thin with no built in shock absorption. They sell those cases separately, and they are a good investment, but they wouldn't be necessary if the devices were designed properly in the first place. Just this past year a shattered a phone by dropping it less than three feet. That is just not acceptable.
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That's planned obsolescence for you, where products are built with a limited lifespan to maximise profits, which started with the humble lightbulb back in the 20s.

I dunno how many times I'd dropped my flip phone, yet still it goes strong, which is prolly why they got phased out quick-smart.
 
Walsie said:
That's planned obsolescence for you, where products are built with a limited lifespan to maximise profits, which started with the humble lightbulb back in the 20s.

I dunno how many times I'd dropped my flip phone, yet still it goes strong, which is prolly why they got phased out quick-smart.
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Absolutely. Some printers even have an inbuilt counter which counts how many times you used it and causes the device to automatically stop working when you've used it a certain number of times.

I have a smartphone but find it very frustrating to use - I find the touchpad difficult to use and the keyboard is way too small - I'm all fingers and thumbs. I prefer the older kind with buttons rather than a touchpad.

Getting back to Facebook, it's designed to appeal to people's social nature, so if someone isn't so social or isn't interested in social networking, then it won't appeal. Some aspies use it, some don't. Some NTs use it, some don't - there's no hard and fast rule. I guess a lot of it comes down to personality, though it doesn't appeal so much to aspies because they tend to be more introverted and often don't have such a wide social network.
 
Datura said:
I have a smart phone largely because I don't have other options. I honestly believe they were designed to bee fragile so that they would have to be replaced more often. They are not designed ergonomically, and thus easily dropped. They are also very thin with no built in shock absorption. They sell those cases separately, and they are a good investment, but they wouldn't be necessary if the devices were designed properly in the first place. Just this past year a shattered a phone by dropping it less than three feet. That is just not acceptable.

As for all of the apps, I don't use many, but have found the internet access to be useful, especially for work. If I am not busy I can research opportunities for my clients in the community, look up recipes, or learn more about my field in general. It was actually that research that lead me here.
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The only complaint I have on the interface is that you can't go straight to using your phone as a phone with smartphones. You have to click around to the dialing area. Not to mention that if you get locked out, you can't make any phone calls. Except for dialing 911, which is a big, shiny, red toddler-magnet. I'm just glad the emergency operator was laughing when we found out our kid had sneaked off with my husband's phone. :eek:

The internet bit would be helpful. Especially out in a more direct selling environment like a trade day. If you don't have a credit card machine, you can get online and put in their credit card info through a section you have set up on your site like Paypal or other payment processor.
 
I can't say I dislike FB vehemently... though I'm not really ecstatic about it either I suppose. It is what it is.

For me however, I tend to use it however it suits me, which probably is not how it, in general, is intended to be used. I mean, sure... I have "friends" on there, I put up a picture here or there, post some funny stuff, but it's barely a way for me to communicate with people. For me it's more like a big resource to find out events in my area I might want to attend, hear about movies, games, music... so for me it's mostly a resource to keep up to date with things that might interest me. And really, other people are not much of that interest. From all the friends on FB I have, I believe less than 10% of them were people I've sent a friend request myself (perhaps the few were some from this forum)... perhaps that gives a certain perspective on how I don't put much effort and value in the notion of having friends on social media.

If I glance over my FB newsfeed right now, there's such a small amount of actual friends sharing something, but it is filled with a good amount things that actually interest me without having to subscribe to all kinds of newsletters through email or visit dozens of sites to see what's new.
 
I've never been interested in twitter - it seems to me to be a way to insult people in 140 characters or less. Instagram, I don't even really get the idea or the appeal - post photos of your lunch? No thanks, I have my own lunch. I only got a mobile because I travel for work and blew a head gasket - so figured it was essential. I bought the bare essential model and upgraded because the network was no longer compatible.

I do however have facebook, though a lot of the time I wish I'd never joined. I joined because I thought it would be easier to keep in touch with people. In some ways it is. I have some people in my facebook circle who post really interesting articles, photos etc., and I play word games. A lot is just posturing, and passive agressiveness. I had a relative post an " open letter" to other relatives on facebook accusing me of things I'd never done, ascribing motives I'd never had, and projecting his own worst behaviours on to me. (Another post for another day) He hasn't been blocked or unfriended as such, but hes been unfollowed, and I've blocked him from viewing my feed,so effectivly so. I no longer have anything to do with him. I've unfriended or unfollowed others for various lengths of time. Sometimes it's just the worst of human nature.
 
"I've never been interested in twitter - it seems to me to be a way to insult people in 140 characters or less. Instagram, I don't even really get the idea or the appeal - post photos of your lunch? No thanks, I have my own lunch. I only got a mobile because I travel for work and blew a head gasket - so figured it was essential. I bought the bare essential model and upgraded because the network was no longer compatible.

I do however have facebook, though a lot of the time I wish I'd never joined. I joined because I thought it would be easier to keep in touch with people. In some ways it is. I have some people in my facebook circle who post really interesting articles, photos etc., and I play word games. A lot is just posturing, and passive aggressiveness. "

This is how I feel ...I have a business page associated with my FB account, so not deleting
I have a few folks I talk to and connect with occasionally.
 
I just deleted my Facebook account yesterday. I could not keep myself from posting while I was having my violent Moodswings because I am also bipolar. The only reason I had Facebook was to keep track of my relatives I have about 15 aunts and uncles and about 45 cousins. I needed to use it to communicate with my siblings and my folks. I posted interesting articles and got no response to most of them. I have been verbally abused on Facebook and got sick and tired of it. And as far as having a smartphone, my power just went out so I am using it as a mobile hotspot so that I can read this forum. I also use my phone for audio navigation because I cannot understand anybody's directions when they tell me how to get somewhere.
 
I'm a 37 year old female and I can't stand social media, for personal or professional reasons. I can't understand all these people who want to publish their life story - everything from I just had lunch to like this to I love you! Oh my days! It does exasperate me. It seems NTs love to share and I'm a suspected aspie who doesn't (I don't like people much full stop lol).
 
I joined FB five years ago, and the first thing was that I ended up quarreling with my boyfriend at the time. I was reluctant to join, but the support group we were in was urging everyone to join so that we could stay in touch about meeting times, and plans. I did not want to, but he kept insisting that it was harmless and that I didn't have to do a lot on there, etc. FB has been nothing but a vehicle for hurt feelings, drama and more hurt feelings. My sister is constantly on there, screaming about family problems (written all in caps) and other people that I know post pictures of fungal toenails or endless pictures of their pets or praise themselves endlessly. It is a huge relief to have deleted my account.

The sad thing about FB is that people have come to rely exclusively on it instead of telephone or face to face contact. One of my sisters "unfriended" me; WTF? I sent her a message and said, you may not think we are friends on FB, but we will always be sisters. But this just goes to show how much harm is done by getting involved with FB.
 
I rarely have my sister on my profile. She seems to be constantly making and deleting her account. Half the time I don't have her number in my phone either because that's always changing too. I think she's gotten used to my gruff "who is this" when I pick up the phone. :yum:
 
I rarely log on, it...eh, just doesn't appeal to me much. It's an okay substitute for interaction (not a replacement) when I'm not in a mood for face to face contact, I suppose. Privacy issues are one of my main concerns, it seems to me so many people are unaware of just how much of their day to day life they're disclosing to the internet and how much they're compromising themselves in the process.

All things said it still doesn't make much sense to me, probably never will since I have a habit of keeping myself low profile these days.
 
I have meet wonderful people who have become friends thru social media.....I have built a business thru social media. I have received support thru social media. I believe, like so many things in life...it is what you make of it..I have helped folks know what life is like for an aspie...thru my blogs, post etc...and they have helped me see some of the "rules" of society
 
After many years on Facebook I just deleted my account. I deleted Twitter and LinkedIn too. I don't even know why. Nothing bad happened I just decided I am done with them.
 
Sully said:
After many years on Facebook I just deleted my account. I deleted Twitter and LinkedIn too. I don't even know why. Nothing bad happened I just decided I am done with them.
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Join the club! I feel so much better not being on Facebook and LinkedIn, as well. Going on Facebook always made me feel that I had entered this large room filled with people that I knew, and being ignored by every single one of them. Why on earth would I continue to do that to myself?:(
 
I joined fb in 2011, I stay in touch with friends all over the states, UK and the Philippines and my middle daughter, I have a work page that in order to keep that I need to have a personal page.
I also use fb to stay in touch with and learn about what is happening in Natives news, events, etc . there are several Aspie pages that help with coping, laughter, etc..
I found fb works if you work it for the correct reasons. I have not solicited one person for friendship..I have 106 friends. I have NT friends that avoid fb..it is not for everyone.
 
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