Aspies vs NTs?

[Aneka]

I don't have an us vs. them mentality. It would be foolish to exclude or be bigoted towards NTs for many reasons including: They comprise approximately 98% of the planet's humans, there are many NTs that provide valuable, necessary and meaningful contributions to the lives of autistic people including in my own case.

I do firmly believe, however, that if an autistic person such as myself prefers to fraternize with other autistic people over NTs (but not to the exclusion of them), such a desire is not "us vs. them" or bigoted any more than if a non-hearing person preferred to fraternize with other non-hearing people, or a black person preferred to fraternize with other black people.

Without question I communicate easier and better with neurodiverse people in general than I do with NTs. This is a fact that's been true in both online communication and in face to face communication.

Conventional thought is that autistic people have difficulty in social communication, period. This is incorrect. They have difficulty with communicating with NTs. However, there's been at least one study that showed that autistics do not have difficulty or at least find it easier communicating with other ND people and also showed at the same time that NTs have difficulty communicating with NDs.

I believe it's a form of ableism to shame or castigate autistic people for preferring the company of other autistic people for the following reasons:

• Men often have a group of other men as their inner circle of friends. Why? They prefer to have other men as their inner circle of friends.
• Women often have a group of other women as their inner circle of friends. Why? They prefer to have other women as their inner circle of friends.
• African Americans often prefer to fraternize with other African Americans.
• Non-hearing people often prefer to fraternize with other non-hearing people.
• Actors, comedians and musicians often prefer to fraternize with other actors, comedians and musicians respectively.
• Soldiers and veterans will often prefer to fraternize with other soldiers and veterans.
• People who like horses will often prefer to fraternize with other people who like horses.
• There are countless examples that can be used like those above.

It would be ableist to say it's wrong, bad, bigoted, etc for someone who is autistic to say they prefer the company of other autistics.

That's a human's innate longing for his 'tribe', group, family... It doesn't matter what you label it. You easily connect and empathize with people who share characteristics, traits and experiences with you. You can relate to them. We prefer people around us who look similar to us, dress like us or have a similar mindset... Subcultures are a good example for this.
It offers protection but also sets you apart from the 'others'.

Who are the others? Who belongs to your group? This is also somewhat subjective and a matter of antipathy/ sympathy and even indifference. Note that antipathy doesn't always mean dislike, it can also mean being unable to relate. Misunderstanding someone. If we wouldn't be that way, navigating life would be very difficult.

It really is not a neurodiverse trait, it is very normal.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I have all NT friends and none of them understand what I am going through with my phobia's. It's frustrating. I want to be an NT so bad I even dreamed I was, so I am not pleased I am ASD.