ASPIES WHO HAD A HARD TIME ACCEPTING THEIR DIAGNOSIS

[Karin]

Lol no, my husband is an very much an nt!!!!

 

[Judge]

One thing though. It's not necessarily a "linear process" in one discovering they're on the spectrum. I'm sure that there are some who get diagnosed without any prior understanding- or warning of the subject itself.

That has to be tough, especially given social environments where autism is stigmatized, along with mental health in general. For them, I can only hope they make it to a place like this, where they can learn they aren't alone and not to feel ambushed- or overwhelmed about it.

 

[Nitro]

Chalk me up in the elated column for finally having an answer to why I was "different"

I am an equal opportunity basher myself

 

[Nitro]

One thing though. It's not necessarily a "linear process" in one discovering they're on the spectrum. I'm sure that there are some who get diagnosed without any prior understanding- or warning of the subject itself.

That has to be tough, especially given social environments where autism is stigmatized, along with mental health in general. For them, I can only hope they make it to a place like this, where they can learn they aren't alone and not to feel ambushed- or overwhelmed about it.

I can say I discovered the spectrum then started to put the pieces together for myself,so it was fascinating to say the least.

I though everybody was just like me

 

[Judge]

I can say I discovered the spectrum then started to put the pieces together for myself,so it was fascinating to say the least.

I though everybody was just like me

Yep...damned near...hehe....considering that was my experience as well. But then I'm inclined to be easier going about it given I'm closer to the end than my beginning.

I'm not sure how I would have handled it caught completely by surprise. But still...when you piece that puzzle of your life together...it becomes a rewarding process- eventually.

 

[zurb]

I think, that for those of us who found it hard, the process is very similar to the stages of mourning - they are mourning their loss of identity (and/or dreams) - who they thought they were and could be has died.
And like mourning, there are some who get stuck in the process.

 

[Judge]

I think, that for those of us who found it hard, the process is very similar to the stages of mourning - they are mourning their loss of identity (and/or dreams) - who they thought they were and could be has died.
And like mourning, there are some who get stuck in the process.

Yes- to be the cool, calm and collective person you always wanted to be, but neurologically can't. I have to admit, I did have such a lamentation of sorts. But knowing why I can't be that person I so wanted to be....I can- and have accepted that reality in the process. I can't fly like Superman either. I'm ok truly knowing why.

Ironic to think that it's been far less stressful to understand the origins of my social anxiety than all the meds I once took trying to alleviate it.

 

[clg114]

I can say I discovered the spectrum then started to put the pieces together for myself,so it was fascinating to say the least.

I though everybody was just like me

Interesting, for a long time I thought everybody else was weird. After I started researching AS, I found out that I was the weird one.

 

[On the Inside]

Thank you very much for your contribution, Judge, especially the part about the importance of knowing vs. wandering lost. That clarifies for me why others might not share the same view of being diagnosed. While the diagnosis is for life, it's not fatal. And, this might be somewhat of a stretch, but it might be similar to someone who has an epiphany, an insight through the divine.

I had a classmate in college, really smart guy, who had been a heroin addict and dealer. Wandering 'round lost indeed. He was considerably older than the rest of us, and one day he told me the story of the day he went straight. He was in the middle of a deal, and had a really bad feeling about it and he just turned and walked away, only to break down crying a few yards away. He said he just became aware of how messed up things were, clarity. After that, it was a long painful haul, but he turned his life around.

What I hear in this discussion is that acceptance of one's own diagnosis is not much of an issue, indeed is a relief for many.

 

[tree]

I thought...oh, so that's it.
Everybody isn't the same as me.
How strange, that they aren't.

 

[Christopher Nicholson]

Judge. What a good name you picked for yourself because that's all you do.

You don't like "NT" people at all. Every chance to slip in an insult you do. Every thread that I see your name on, I am sure to see you making this division of aspie and "NT" people.

When I was first diagnosed with asperger's I came to this site to find out more about it and meet people. What did I find? People like Judge who go on and on about "NT" people.

I expected to see people disagree; however people either rally behind this nonsense or just don't care.

1. Grumpy cat is a wonderful person, shame on anyone in here giving her a hard time. She reaches out to people with asperger's and you people treat her like that? Who else does that? You all should be thanking her and welcoming her opinion.

2. NT and aspies are both people. Until you prove otherwise you should treat each other in kind. If I show you respect you show me respect.

This site should be a positive exchange, I realize conversations run their course, but Judge, right out of the gate you are negative.

How do I get my account removed? I have shut off everything I can to stop the emails and they still update me.

 

[Judge]

Judge. What a good name you picked for yourself because that's all you do.

You don't like "NT" people at all. Every chance to slip in an insult you do. Every thread that I see your name on, I am sure to see you making this division of aspie and "NT" people.

When I was first diagnosed with asperger's I came to this site to find out more about it and meet people. What did I find? People like Judge who go on and on about "NT" people.

I expected to see people disagree; however people either rally behind this nonsense or just don't care.

1. Grumpy cat is a wonderful person, shame on anyone in here giving her a hard time. She reaches out to people with asperger's and you people treat her like that? Who else does that? You all should be thanking her and welcoming her opinion.

2. NT and aspies are both people. Until you prove otherwise you should treat each other in kind. If I show you respect you show me respect.

This site should be a positive exchange, I realize conversations run their course, but Judge, right out of the gate you are negative.

How do I get my account removed? I have shut off everything I can to stop the emails and they still update me.

How you choose to deliberately misinterpret my posts into a personal attack is your affair. Not ours. The mods would have addressed that if it were true. Of course like Grumpy Cat, you too are not a moderator.

 

[Christopher Nicholson]

You write the post, I read them. It's my problem I don't understand them. If I was to gather all your NT posts, and creating this imagined world where NT are the enemy, it would take a week. I could easy prove my point and you could just write what you just wrote.

You see life here is easy sauce. I don't have to do much to prove anything, and who do I prove it to? The people seem to be fine with it anyways.

If I say the sky is blue and you say it's green, and I give evidence it's blue and you still say it's green and everyone in here accepts that it's green, then I guess it's green. So you all can have fun making the NT people the enemy, along with the doctors that don't say what you want them to.

If people didnt have depression before comming into this site they sure will after spending some time here.

I know I can't take it anymore. You know Judge, you seem like the person with alot of experience and you can use it to help or not.

 

[Judge]

You write the post, I read them. It's my problem I don't understand them. If I was to gather all your NT posts, and creating this imagined world where NT are the enemy, it would take a week. I could easy prove my point and you could just write what you just wrote.

You see life here is easy sauce. I don't have to do much to prove anything, and who do I prove it to? The people seem to be fine with it anyways.

If I say the sky is blue and you say it's green, and I give evidence it's blue and you still say it's green and everyone in here accepts that it's green, then I guess it's green. So you all can have fun making the NT people the enemy, along with the doctors that don't say what you want them to.

If people didnt have depression before comming into this site they sure will after spending some time here.

I know I can't take it anymore. You know Judge, you seem like the person with alot of experience and you can use it to help or not.

I don't even recall having interacted with you, whoever you are. Your opinion appears to be yours alone.

However I do regard your posts as nothing but personal attacks, and have reported them accordingly. If you wish to be an advocate for NTs, that's fine. However this may not be an appropriate venue for that particular point of view, apart from doing it through the use of personal attacks.

 

[Christopher Nicholson]

Judge, give me a name of a moderator and I will message them personally. I will ask them to delete my account. As you can see reporting me means nothing.

I don't want to be subject this NT division nonsense anymore. This site has some setting that that keeps these emails comming.

 

[On the Inside]

Well, upon re-reading the responses, I think that while there might be a lot of personal acceptance of our diagnoses, we might not always be at peace with it, and that can express itself in a variety of ways.

I for one, have valued everyone's contribution to this and most every thread I've participated in on the forum.

 

[Judge]

Judge, give me a name of a moderator and I will message them personally. I will ask them to delete my account.

Christopher, my understanding of this domain's policy is that accounts here are not physically deleted. They remain as they are in the event you wish to return at another time.

 

[Harrison]

You write the post, I read them. It's my problem I don't understand them. If I was to gather all your NT posts, and creating this imagined world where NT are the enemy, it would take a week. I could easy prove my point and you could just write what you just wrote.

You see life here is easy sauce. I don't have to do much to prove anything, and who do I prove it to? The people seem to be fine with it anyways.

If I say the sky is blue and you say it's green, and I give evidence it's blue and you still say it's green and everyone in here accepts that it's green, then I guess it's green. So you all can have fun making the NT people the enemy, along with the doctors that don't say what you want them to.

If people didnt have depression before comming into this site they sure will after spending some time here.

I know I can't take it anymore. You know Judge, you seem like the person with alot of experience and you can use it to help or not.

Making personal attacks against members is in breach of our guidelines. If you actually want to leave this site you may do so of your own accord. Company policy is that we do not remove accounts.

 

[On the Inside]

I think, that for those of us who found it hard, the process is very similar to the stages of mourning - they are mourning their loss of identity (and/or dreams) - who they thought they were and could be has died.
And like mourning, there are some who get stuck in the process.

That is a good point, and that is where I've had some trouble accepting. While I can mainly say that I have found a sense of relief and release with being diagnosed, it is only a sense, but one that will guide me in the future. I'm more understanding of myself, and perhaps someday, more forgiving.

I find myself returning to states of mourning, but I don't think I'm stuck. I review things and re-evaluate when I receive new insight or information. There has been a big shift in identity for me, even if I don't always identify as an Aspie, I'm not the guy I thought I was. From time to time, I will continue to look back on my past as a long string of lost opportunities, misunderstandings, poor judgement, etc. Those things are part of who I am since I've lived with them and their consequences for so long. That was me getting by as best I could.

Having an understanding why those things happened, and why my life has gone the way it has, doesn't erase anything and has not put me in a better place, necessarily. My boat is still way off course and has a beat to windward for the foreseeable future. That is what I sometimes find hard to accept. Do I simply discard the whole thing and just go in some other direction? Where will being an Aspie take me? I'm still the same person, with a little more self knowledge, so is it reasonable to assume that this direction won't be too different from where I've always been heading?

 

[EdR]

I developed a sense of serenity when I was diagnosed at the age of 63. It is impossible for me to say how I might have reacted if my aspie issues were identified earlier.