At what point do you make your exit after a conversation?

[Fino]

If it's just the two people you currently live with, I wouldn't dismiss the possibility that it's more of a deficit on their end than it is on yours.

 

[Heidi M.]

If it's just the two people you currently live with, I wouldn't dismiss the possibility that it's more of a deficit on their end than it is on yours.

I suppose the two people I live with are in my life the most, but this has been an issue probably my whole life, though I wasn't aware of it until i got older and a friend would say something. It's more of a problem w/my housemates, and especially the new one.
But, I think you are right.. it is their neediness for my company, i think. I have interests that keep me entertained and they don't really have that.. they just let time fly by talking or whatever (haha i don't really know what they do or what entertains them)

 

[Heidi M.]

At what point do you make your exit after a conversation?​

When I am tired or dont want to continue, I let the other person finish what they was saying. Then I confirm that I understood them and tell them that It was nice talking with then and that I must leave. I let them answer (usually to tell me "Ok, see you later/tomorrow"). So I tell them "See you later/tomorrow" and I leave.

Example:

The other person: ....And then my uncle said bla bla bla bla bla, can you belive it? And I felt like bla bla bla bla and even my sister said I was rigth!

Me: Oh my god! That was so unfair. Im so sorry. I would love to keep talking with you but I must leave.

The other person: Oh, really? I was telling you the nice part now, when the best friend of my sister boyfriend told me about their last vacations...

Me: Yeah! Unfortunately I must leave now, see you tomorrow.

The other person: Oh, well... se you later.


And thats how I do it.

haha--> bla bla bla.. that's what i hear too.

I agree about learning a way to speak ..that i need to go now.. in a polite way. But when I try i start fumbling i feel rude and it's like the words dont' want to come out in an elegant way.. it feels fakey. . . but i guess that's better than rude. I don't know i guess relationships are confusing. I want to connect and be happy, that's all. But it's more about thinking that the conversation IS over and leaving, i am assuming but to them it's not over. I have other friends have the opposite issue where they speak so much and people want them to stop so they can leave. I wish this was smoother.

 

[paloftoon]

Yeah, always good to at least say something if you can. If they don't let you speak, then you start to leave and that will be an implication to them that they are rude for not letting you give yourself a chance to speak. You can just tell them you have to do something else and if they ask what it is, tell them you don't want to talk about it. If someone wants to speak to you 1-1 about it, then you can be honest about it in that type of setting.

 

[Suzanne]

My husband says I am very rude when I do the same and I answer: but the conversation ended, so why is it rude? But, apparently, one has to say something like: great chat and then, exist, but still have not cultivated the art of when to leave.

Same with phone calls. I end up being rather abrupt, because I have no idea how to end the conversation.

 

[Fino]

Years ago and prior, I had trouble saying I wanted to leave while hanging out at a friend's house, so I would go to the restroom and then leave! LOL I became known for it and people started saying goodbye when I went to the restroom.

 

[paloftoon]

I suppose the two people I live with are in my life the most, but this has been an issue probably my whole life, though I wasn't aware of it until i got older and a friend would say something. It's more of a problem w/my housemates, and especially the new one.
But, I think you are right.. it is their neediness for my company, i think. I have interests that keep me entertained and they don't really have that.. they just let time fly by talking or whatever (haha i don't really know what they do or what entertains them)

Maybe if you want to be alone or if they are that bored, you can ask them to do something slave like that would help you potentially but then give them something to do even if it's a chore they can do outside of your space if you want alone time. If they want to talk to you and you aren't in the mood to talk to them, instead of saying you don't want to talk to them at first, ask them if they want to do some activity or thing you are working on. Totally nerd out! If that doesn't seem to be jiving well and they are still on you, ask them to mow the lawn or help you wash the dishes and that you need to concentrate on said activity by yourself. If that doesn't work, then be blunt with them and tell them that you need alone time but that you can schedule a day and time that works for both of you if that person would like to converse with you about something (not that important).

 

[Alexej]

From my perspective I think it is socially easier if I take responsablility for myself and say that I need to move on, or if I get emotionally worn out by the conversation, to say that I am emotionally tired and need a break and then walk away. This seems to be more socially acceptable than trying to rely on the social clues (since I often get them wrong)

 

[Dime]

So you are a "Dime" and a tomboy? Yeah that dime thing, I thought , "oh she must think she's 10/10, she's hot chick." And is she gonna change her ... avatar . Am I gonna see a pretty model pic soon. But thats kind of where self-perception, meets reality.
There are people who join, and first day, they will post a picture, all seductively and stuff. Screaming "look at me!"
Yeah now I see you registered 2 months ago, but I was under the impression you had just joined.

thats funny actually my username is dime because my name is Diamond! Dime is just a childhood nickname I don’t think it ever had to do with my looks at least not to me. Im probably like a solid 6 or 7 most days l. I probably won’t change my avatar just because I always come on here periodically and forget to do things like that with most accounts I set up on any platform.

 

[Slim Jim]

Well that's funny cause my username is a pun on Jim Morrison and processed meats. I'm like a solid 4 most of the days, But if the light hits me at the right angle and I pull a funny face in the mirror, and I squint my eyes, I actually look quite handsome.

 

[pompi]

I apologize, stop talking, and walk away. I do not like conversating with others (my brother and my pillow being an exception.). Have a good day/night.