Attempted to bottle up but it didn’t work.

[Tony Ramirez]

You’re exactly the kind of man I would take pains to avoid in any social situation, the kind of man who wouldn’t give a woman the time of day if she weren’t someone he thought he had a chance at sleeping with. I mean no disrespect at all, just giving you feedback. Women don’t like men like you because of the way you see women, not because you’re ugly or not rich or any of that other whiny incel crap. Something to think about.

Thanks not for the unkind words. You sound like my married friend who I am quickly losing interest in hanging out with. Two years ago I was not even that desperate for girls just to be friends but even that's impossible when most are couples.

 

[Kalinychta]

Thanks not for the unkind words. You sound like my married friend who I am quickly losing interest in hanging out with. Two years ago I was not even that desperate for girls just to be friends but even that's impossible when most are couples.

What exactly is it about what your friend and I say that you find so uninteresting?

 

[Markness]

(Oh, and I don’t think you’d hurt others, but I do worry that you might hurt yourself.)

I’ve actually had people think I would hurt a woman if my hypothetical relationship went wrong. However, they didn’t factor the possibility a woman could hurt me, a man, as well. I was hurt by my ex-friends and I felt sad losing them, even if there was no romance or intimacy.

 

[Kalinychta]

I’ve actually had people think I would hurt a woman if my hypothetical relationship went wrong. However, they didn’t factor the possibility a woman could hurt me, a man, as well. I was hurt by my ex-friends and I felt sad losing them, even if there was no romance or intimacy.

You don’t strike me as the violent type.

 

[tree]

@Tony Ramirez

"Two years ago I was not even that desperate for girls just to be friends but even that's impossible when most are couples."

Is it also impossible to be friends with males who are married/part of a couple?
Or is it just females?

 

[tree]

I’ve actually had people think I would hurt a woman if my hypothetical relationship went wrong. However, they didn’t factor the possibility a woman could hurt me, a man, as well. I was hurt by my ex-friends and I felt sad losing them, even if there was no romance or intimacy.

What did those people mean by "hurt"?
Physical harm?
Mean words?
Or what?

Feeling sad over loss is a normal reaction.
It would be peculiar, I think, to not to some degree, mourn the
loss of a friendship.

 

[Markness]

You don’t strike me as the violent type.

I’ve generally always been kind and caring. For some reason, that got me a lot of flack in my developmental years. Other guys would bully me and say I was “gay” while girls thought it meant I was uninteresting. I do remember some girls saying “Awwww!” after telling them I was too shy to ask girls out.

I think a major root in my struggle is how the sexes divide themselves from each other in the culture I live in. Men are expected to be aggressive and only show interest in things that are “manly” while women are expected to be quiet in the presence of men (But it’s also ok for them to be chatty with their ‘girlfriends’.) and only have “girly” interests. It’s very frustrating because that’s partly why I only really have a few female friends in person.

 

[Markness]

What did those people mean by "hurt"?
Physical harm?
Mean words?
Or what?

Feeling sad over loss is a normal reaction.
It would be peculiar, I think, to not to some degree, mourn the
loss of a friendship.

They never specified. They could’ve meant both things.

It especially hurt when one of them told me straight out “I don’t like you!” after she called me and I was hoping we would reconnect.

 

[Kalinychta]

I’ve generally always been kind and caring. For some reason, that got me a lot of flack in my developmental years. Other guys would bully me and say I was “gay” while girls thought it meant I was uninteresting. I do remember some girls saying “Awwww!” after telling them I was too shy to ask girls out.

I think a major root in my struggle is how the sexes divide themselves from each other in the culture I live in. Men are expected to be aggressive and only show interest in things that are “manly” while women are expected to be quiet in the presence of men (But it’s also ok for them to be chatty with their ‘girlfriends’.) and only have “girly” interests. It’s very frustrating because that’s partly why I only really have a few female friends in person.

You live in Texas, right?

 

[Markness]

You live in Texas, right?

Yes and the area I live in is part of the Bible Belt.

 

[Kalinychta]

Yes and the area I live in is part of the Bible Belt.

Oh my. Have you thought about relocating northwards? You may even be able to file for refugee status. : )

 

[Markness]

Oh my. Have you thought about relocating northwards? You may even be able to file for refugee status. : )

If I can’t make it to Austin, I’ve thought of relocating to another state.

 

[Kalinychta]

If I can’t make it to Austin, I’ve thought of relocating to another state.

I’ve heard that Austin is way cool. I’ve been to Dallas a few times. Odd and rather horrifying place. I went to a children’s museum with my sister’s kids, and there was a man standing in line in front of us with a woman wearing shorts so short that you could see the lower quarter of her ass. At a children’s museum, mind you. So I believe I got a glimpse of the male-female dynamic there that you mentioned.
Also I felt that if we were pulled over for driving so much as three miles above the speed limit, we would get the electric chair.

 

[Markness]

Do you feel that you're under a lot of pressure from friends/family to get into a relationship, and that you don't "measure up" until you find someone? If so, the first thing you need to do is realize that those friends and family's opinions have no bearing on your life - they can and will think what they want, and that's on them. You are not obligated to live a certain way in order to make them happy.

Not at all and especially not from my family. My parents didn’t even want me to have a relationship and did many things to try to prevent one from happening. My mother was especially instrumental in sabotaging me. My full blooded siblings only cared about how they faired with the opposite sex and didn’t even attempt to help me.

 

[Markness]

I’ve heard that Austin is way cool. I’ve been to Dallas a few times. Odd and rather horrifying place. I went to a children’s museum with my sister’s kids, and there was a man standing in line in front of us with a woman wearing shorts so short that you could see the lower quarter of her ass. At a children’s museum, mind you. So I believe I got a glimpse of the male-female dynamic there that you mentioned.
Also I felt that if we were pulled over for driving so much as three miles above the speed limit, we would get the electric chair.

It is. I love the music clubs, comic book stores/book stores in general, and the Japanese style video game arcade by UT. I also love seeing the punk, gothic, alternative rock, and otaku women at these places.

I used to like Dallas but the two ex-friends I mentioned before moved there.

Around here in my area, people will get hostile if you don’t drive pass the speed limit.

 

[Kalinychta]

There’s a writer I really like who lives in Austin, and she mentions it a lot in her books. She loves it. You should definitely try to get there as soon as you can. Living in a place you don’t like that is populated by people you can’t relate to is never a good idea. I think Austin could be a very positive life-changer for you all the way around.

 

[Markness]

There’s a writer I really like who lives in Austin, and she mentions it a lot in her books. She loves it. You should definitely try to get there as soon as you can. Living in a place you don’t like that is populated by people you can’t relate to is never a good idea. I think Austin could be a very positive life-changer for you all the way around.

My mother actually lived there and went to UT before I was born. I wish she had stayed.

I still have trouble making lasting conversations with people there. However, I am not gauged on my worth like people in the Killeen-Temple-Fort Worth area do to me.

 

[Markness]

The Eastern philosophy states the harder we try to obtain something, the lessor chance it becomes a reality.

Also wish to say l couldn't even go to therapy groups, l was frighten of triggering my ptsd.

I was always told that either the Abrahamic god “planned it” or didn’t for me so I just needed to sit on my bum and wait for it.

I don’t blame you. Most social groups in general I’ve attended have ended up with me disappointed and hurt.

 

[Kalinychta]

My mother actually lived there and went to UT before I was born. I wish she had stayed.

I still have trouble making lasting conversations with people there. However, I am not gauged on my worth like people in the Killeen-Temple-Fort Worth area do to me.

Well, I think a big reason that many “neurotypical” people seem to dislike interacting with autistic people isn’t because they think we’re weird and not-like-them; it’s because they can sense the waves of fear, pressure, insecurity, and discomfort wafting off of us. They can tell we’re not being ourselves, that we’re trying to be like them or make them accept or like us. No one wants to be around someone like that. So if you learn to be comfortable with who you are, it will get easier to converse with people and also to feel that it’s okay not to talk to people when you don’t want to and to end conversations when you have nothing else to say.

 

[Streetwise]

What exactly is it about what your friend and I say that you find so uninteresting?

It seems like If a woman doesn't want to guarantee! to try to begin a relationship where the act of reproducing happens they are worthless to him, thats really disrespectful !