Attracted to unavailable people?

[All-Rounder]

I think it is ok to be different and autistics especially need space..
Relationships are challenging
I think it is nice as a women when someone generally cares and meets ur needs but also yes you may need your partner and you them
But it is better to be wanted in my opinion, I definitely need someone's help and guidance at times and people may need their partners but a relationship works better at times if neither person is overly needy and actually wants the person in their life at least at the beginning.
So needy relationships are problematic where if you actually want the person because you want to have something special and share a life together then it works better and you may need the person at various but not everyone likes being a dependent on their partner and the other person may not enjoy it either way esp at the beginning
Unless something happens and someone had to take care of the other after established relationship

Yes, autistic people are especially space inclined (not me when I like people, regardless of it being difficult or not, I have a lot of patience with what people can't stand and in fact I can talk about difficult things until the effects of it drain me but other people can be more easily triggered)

If you need someone but you absolutely hate them, yes, it's toxic.
However most people share their extreme neediness with desires, I thought. Even in toxic relationships.

not everyone likes being a dependent on their partner

I think there are some things we can realistically depend on a partner for, if they can provide them. But a lot of life and survival is usually not expected to be relied on for, though in life not all things are by the book, in fact the way of life and difficulties make people need to rely on their partners sometimes for more than they would want to. I think expecting that or thinking of relationships as necessarily like that is not a good idea though, like such a view is very common here in my area and annoying because there isn't just a way of dating, people are different.

 

[paloftoon]

To "cure" loneliness, try to go out on your own to various events and meetups. Try to pick some things to go regularly as much as you can. Build as much confidence in yourself as you can. Work on yourself. If other people won't help you create a good space for you for whatever reason, find a way to create it yourself It's not easy, and sometimes I still feel somewhat lonely despite all I have and do and think about.

 

[Seladon]

Am coming to the conclusion that this is why as an adult I'm still lowkey addicted to shipping. It's a way to enjoy vicariously all the emotional highs of a relationship without any of the risk. Like a flight or a rollercoaster simulator.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to find the courage to try a real relationship with someone I could get or keep. Then I look at my pool of options, and the relationships of everyone I know, and I'm like...nah, I'm good. Tbh my romantic delulu side wants something better, probably something beyond my reach.