Autigender, Gay and proud

[MalcolmKratz]

Dear all,

Already for many years I'm out. I had some long relationships.. But through my tantrums its mostly very tiring for my partners. In the end I normally breakup because I cannot deal with the guilt.

I believe that every person has the love for the many sexes inside, but in the end through conformity and life experience one tends more to one or another.

For quite some time now I'm questioning, for myself so not for the whole biological gay community, how it made me tend to the gay side. I'm a very curious person and like to deeply think and deconstruct things in a philosophical way. I'm gay and I'm proud of it. I enjoy it. Like experimentation with clothes and genders.

A few months ago something struck me. I have quite some difficulties with unknown situations and bodies. So maybe what gave me the push towards gay instead of bisexual, is that I have difficulties with dealing with other bodies not like my own. The differences in the male body are already enough to deal with..

Are there other LGBTQIAPK'ers here?
What is your experience?

X

 

[Suiseiseki]

You obviously can't see the face I made when I saw the word Autigender, so I'll let Donald Trump do it.

I don't know what any of those other letters on LGBT are and frankly I really don't want to know.
When did my dressing like a femmy weirdo and wanting to give a guy a handjob every once and awhile turn into some huge label cause, don't I have enough labels?
Don't we all?

I have no interest in the LGBT community, went to a pride parade once, spent most of it under a tree sleeping.
It was dull.
People expect a lot of stupid crap from me just because I am bisexual.
Like I have to be Liberal and like Islam.
Yeah I have to like a religion that in 11 of its countries kills gays.
Oh yeah lovely thing that.

You can't just make up genders, there are only two genders, gender can't be a social construct because if it was, transgender wouldn't be a thing.
Gender Dysphoria is real, you transition genders, from one to the other.
You don't go from one to made up tumblr gender number whatever.

I guess you struck a pet peeve of mine, not all us LGBT think alike, though we're expected to.

 

[MalcolmKratz]

You obviously can't see the face I made when I saw the word Autigender, so I'll let Donald Trump do it.

I don't know what any of those other letters on LGBT are and frankly I really don't want to know.
When did my dressing like a femmy weirdo and wanting to give a guy a handjob every once and awhile turn into some huge label cause, don't I have enough labels?
Don't we all?

I have no interest in the LGBT community, went to a pride parade once, spent most of it under a tree sleeping.
It was dull.
People expect a lot of stupid crap from me just because I am bisexual.
Like I have to be Liberal and like Islam.
Yeah I have to like a religion that in 11 of its countries kills gays.
Oh yeah lovely thing that.

You can't just make up genders, there are only two genders, gender can't be a social construct because if it was, transgender wouldn't be a thing.
Gender Dysphoria is real, you transition genders, from one to the other.
You don't go from one to made up tumblr gender number whatever.

I guess you struck a pet peeve of mine, not all us LGBT think alike, though we're expected to.

You are probably not aware of the fact that in India, Pakistan and many old tribes in the Amazon and Africa do recognise and did recognise way more genders than just two..
It is a cultural thing, there are sexes which can also change. Yet genders are completely cultural..
So instead of just bashing, you could be a little bit more open for such discussions.

I agree with religion, Christianity has destroyed a lot of culture on this planet. And let's not forget all the terrorist attacks in name of it. Islam is doing the same. Like many other religions.

That's a different story and discussion though.

[emoji8]

 

[Suiseiseki]

As an Autistic nerd I am a slave to Science, and science tells me there are two, gender, like sex is biological.
A lot of people in ancient times believed things that just weren't true.
A lot of people now believe things that just aren't true.

 

[MalcolmKratz]

Im a nerd, especially with these things. Next to computer science I have a bachelors in gender studies and arts. Also a master in both.


Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference

Here the PDF:
http://bookzz.org/dl/1305605/a91cbc

 

[MalcolmKratz]

BTW maybe specify which science. Its quite broad you know..
Also very nice you have a very strong opinion about these things. But I though this would be a forum which is open to discussion. Not just to publish opinions without actual discussion.

That's what Facebook turned into, and that's why I turned away from it.
Also a nice study of new media studies and social sciences. A book called Networks Without a Cause, a critique on social media. Which explains this phenomenon. Its by Geert Loving, a professor I have a good connection with and collaborate with now.

I would like a bit a deeper response than just an opinion. Like, arguments. Arguments that portray your science nerdism. Instead of just calling the 'science' in, because that makes it look like you are not sure what the term actually means. That there are specialisations and people all the time researching this stuff.

Question your binaries maybe, like a scientist would.

 

[aspaquarian]

Dear all,

Already for many years I'm out. I had some long relationships.. But through my tantrums its mostly very tiring for my partners. In the end I normally breakup because I cannot deal with the guilt.

I believe that every person has the love for the many sexes inside, but in the end through conformity and life experience one tends more to one or another.

For quite some time now I'm questioning, for myself so not for the whole biological gay community, how it made me tend to the gay side. I'm a very curious person and like to deeply think and deconstruct things in a philosophical way. I'm gay and I'm proud of it. I enjoy it. Like experimentation with clothes and genders.

A few months ago something struck me. I have quite some difficulties with unknown situations and bodies. So maybe what gave me the push towards gay instead of bisexual, is that I have difficulties with dealing with other bodies not like my own. The differences in the male body are already enough to deal with..

Are there other LGBTQIAPK'ers here?
What is your experience?

XI am genderless and am attracted to females. My therapist said that there is no such thing as a third gender. I also like to talk about philosophical things with my aunt and cousin. Do you know what makes a person who they are philosophically speaking?

 

[wyverary]

AC is welcoming of all types, and that includes transgenders, agenders, and all sexual orientations and identities, whether you personally believe they exist or not. Please bear this in mind when posting here. Thanks.

 

[MalcolmKratz]

AC is welcoming of all types, and that includes transgenders, agenders, and all sexual orientations and identities, whether you personally believe they exist or not. Please bear this in mind when posting here. Thanks.

Thank you, I've felt quite saddened after the first and only response.. I have to say I just came to here now to disable email notifications, I've not been active ever since on this forum..

 

[MalcolmKratz]

It totally depends Aspaquarian!
I experience for myself that I dont feel fitting necessarily in a fitted box. I didnt find the box of autigender which I found very appealing, since I can fill in for myself what it means.

The problem is that institutions find a structure and get stuck when they are too big. Sex and gender are huge institutionalized concepts and not accepted otherwise by governments around the world. If you don't fit male or female, you're an outcast. I used to talk about this with my psych, he told me that he was confused, but he wanted me to try my best to explain to him what goes through me when I have to cross M / F on a form.

I do honestly think that every person when born has attraction for both sexes, but how their gender develops is through experimentation and live events. From happy ones to traumas. People should be open for experimentation with these things instead of all the time being judged by outsiders or family. Also when people got used to a gender and you decide to do something that doesnt fit their idea of that gender. It means people all the time need to question their own constructed binaries. Deconstructing everything they take for granted.

I hope your psych is open for such a discussion, since their work in the end is to label everything that is not 'normal'. Only the spectrum for their normal gets more and more narrowed down until nobody fits the average or 'normal' anymore. My psych didnt label me after or judge me, he was truly great and open for discussion and interested in my reality.

Don't try to go to fast for your psych, since they also need time for adaptation to new ideas. Maybe recommend some queer-theory to them?

 

[aspaquarian]

It totally depends Aspaquarian!
I experience for myself that I dont feel fitting necessarily in a fitted box. I didnt find the box of autigender which I found very appealing, since I can fill in for myself what it means.

The problem is that institutions find a structure and get stuck when they are too big. Sex and gender are huge institutionalized concepts and not accepted otherwise by governments around the world. If you don't fit male or female, you're an outcast. I used to talk about this with my psych, he told me that he was confused, but he wanted me to try my best to explain to him what goes through me when I have to cross M / F on a form.

I do honestly think that every person when born has attraction for both sexes, but how their gender develops is through experimentation and live events. From happy ones to traumas. People should be open for experimentation with these things instead of all the time being judged by outsiders or family. Also when people got used to a gender and you decide to do something that doesnt fit their idea of that gender. It means people all the time need to question their own constructed binaries. Deconstructing everything they take for granted.

I hope your psych is open for such a discussion, since their work in the end is to label everything that is not 'normal'. Only the spectrum for their normal gets more and more narrowed down until nobody fits the average or 'normal' anymore. My psych didnt label me after or judge me, he was truly great and open for discussion and interested in my reality.

Don't try to go to fast for your psych, since they also need time for adaptation to new ideas. Maybe recommend some queer-theory to them?

It totally depends Aspaquarian!
I experience for myself that I dont feel fitting necessarily in a fitted box. I didnt find the box of autigender which I found very appealing, since I can fill in for myself what it means.

The problem is that institutions find a structure and get stuck when they are too big. Sex and gender are huge institutionalized concepts and not accepted otherwise by governments around the world. If you don't fit male or female, you're an outcast. I used to talk about this with my psych, he told me that he was confused, but he wanted me to try my best to explain to him what goes through me when I have to cross M / F on a form.

I do honestly think that every person when born has attraction for both sexes, but how their gender develops is through experimentation and live events. From happy ones to traumas. People should be open for experimentation with these things instead of all the time being judged by outsiders or family. Also when people got used to a gender and you decide to do something that doesnt fit their idea of that gender. It means people all the time need to question their own constructed binaries. Deconstructing everything they take for granted.

I hope your psych is open for such a discussion, since their work in the end is to label everything that is not 'normal'. Only the spectrum for their normal gets more and more narrowed down until nobody fits the average or 'normal' anymore. My psych didnt label me after or judge me, he was truly great and open for discussion and interested in my reality.

Don't try to go to fast for your psych, since they also need time for adaptation to new ideas. Maybe recommend some queer-theory to them?

 

[aspaquarian]

Now I don't know what my gender is because I am either Ambonec:identifying as both man and woman, yet neither at the same time or Demigender:a gender that is partially one gender and partially another because I had two dreams where I had a penis and a vagina but no testicles or breasts. My therapist didn't talk to me about this yet and I will see him on Tuesday and let you know what he says about it. He wasn't very supportive when I told him that I am physically attracted to women but only emotionally attracted to men. He said it meant that I was in a half way position. I told him I can't be satisfied because I don't want to have sex with men and I can't feel anything romantic for women so either way I can't feel connected to them.

 

[aspaquarian]

It totally depends Aspaquarian!
I experience for myself that I dont feel fitting necessarily in a fitted box. I didnt find the box of autigender which I found very appealing, since I can fill in for myself what it means.

The problem is that institutions find a structure and get stuck when they are too big. Sex and gender are huge institutionalized concepts and not accepted otherwise by governments around the world. If you don't fit male or female, you're an outcast. I used to talk about this with my psych, he told me that he was confused, but he wanted me to try my best to explain to him what goes through me when I have to cross M / F on a form.

I do honestly think that every person when born has attraction for both sexes, but how their gender develops is through experimentation and live events. From happy ones to traumas. People should be open for experimentation with these things instead of all the time being judged by outsiders or family. Also when people got used to a gender and you decide to do something that doesnt fit their idea of that gender. It means people all the time need to question their own constructed binaries. Deconstructing everything they take for granted.

I hope your psych is open for such a discussion, since their work in the end is to label everything that is not 'normal'. Only the spectrum for their normal gets more and more narrowed down until nobody fits the average or 'normal' anymore. My psych didnt label me after or judge me, he was truly great and open for discussion and interested in my reality.

Don't try to go to fast for your psych, since they also need time for adaptation to new ideas. Maybe recommend some queer-theory to them?

 

[aspaquarian]

My therapist asked me how I know what it feels like to be a man.

 

[Shiznown]

Okay, I'll chime in. There are three possible genders, however a third gender only occurs by a rare mutation. The person results in having an XXY chromosome. Sex and gender are the same. It wasn't until recently that somehow the mindset came about that we have to ignore logic to appease peoples emotions. This is like calling the Sun purple and getting mad when others point out that it's not. Now, sexual orientation is something that is different and fluid; not gender. With all that stated, I don't care what people do in their personal life as long as it doesn't affect me. In terms of being an outcast, you don't need 50 gender identities to not be an outcast. Everyone should be given the same rights and treated equally. That means no favorites. I'd say the more important thing to ask here is, why did you get an Arts Degree?

 

[Shiznown]

It totally depends Aspaquarian!
I experience for myself that I dont feel fitting necessarily in a fitted box. I didnt find the box of autigender which I found very appealing, since I can fill in for myself what it means.

The problem is that institutions find a structure and get stuck when they are too big. Sex and gender are huge institutionalized concepts and not accepted otherwise by governments around the world. If you don't fit male or female, you're an outcast. I used to talk about this with my psych, he told me that he was confused, but he wanted me to try my best to explain to him what goes through me when I have to cross M / F on a form.

I do honestly think that every person when born has attraction for both sexes, but how their gender develops is through experimentation and live events. From happy ones to traumas. People should be open for experimentation with these things instead of all the time being judged by outsiders or family. Also when people got used to a gender and you decide to do something that doesnt fit their idea of that gender. It means people all the time need to question their own constructed binaries. Deconstructing everything they take for granted.

I hope your psych is open for such a discussion, since their work in the end is to label everything that is not 'normal'. Only the spectrum for their normal gets more and more narrowed down until nobody fits the average or 'normal' anymore. My psych didnt label me after or judge me, he was truly great and open for discussion and interested in my reality.

Don't try to go to fast for your psych, since they also need time for adaptation to new ideas. Maybe recommend some queer-theory to them?

What!? You do realize that males and females have a different set of chromosomes, have different hormone profiles and have different genitals? What you stated makes no sense at all. Things just are how they are in nature. What's next, are you going to tell me that 2 + 2 doesn't always equal 4 because institutions decided that it does? Do you know what happens when a man takes hormones to become feminine, or when a woman takes testosterone? Their cancer risk goes through the roof, along with many other problems. Now, if people want to modify their bodies, again if it doen't affect me I don't care. Although, it does piss me off that if you're a women and want testosterone treatment it's easier to get than if you're a man and need it to be healthy.

 

[wyverary]

AC is welcoming of all types, and that includes transgenders, agenders, and all sexual orientations and identities, whether you personally believe they exist or not. Please bear this in mind when posting here. Thanks.

I would like to reiterate this. If you can't be respectful then I *will* take action.

 

[2aspirin]

As an Autistic nerd I am a slave to Science, and science tells me there are two, gender, like sex is biological.
A lot of people in ancient times believed things that just weren't true.
A lot of people now believe things that just aren't true.

For the vast majority, that is true. But science has illuminated MANY genetic conditions that have people be not completely male or female or heterosexual. We are also now learning more about brain differences that affect orientation. Furthermore - and this is really interesting - there are human chimeras created from two fraternal twins merging into one very early in embryo growth. We really have no idea how many there are that may be fusings of male and female twins because multiple biopsies would have to be taken from different organs since they appear plainly male or female. But one could have female outer appearance and the brain and some other organs may have developed from the male twin.

There could be a good evolutionary reasons some of these conditions may exist because they can lead to genetic disease resilience in the case of chimeras (since many organs would be spared the effects of a dominantly inherited condition) and limited fertility in the case of many other conditions. It could have been an advantage long ago, before birth control, to have some members of a community not be burdened by raising children.

I think most of us on the autism spectrum are very fact based, so these discussions are often so much easier to have here. Check out wikipedia pages that list all of these conditions. We should be helpful and supportive of those who are different and let them decide what is best for them, just as we want for ourselves as autistics. Plus, trans people are far more common among autistics than among neurotypicals. So, brain wiring is likely involved in transgender states.

 

[StephF]

Thank you wyverary

 

[Suiseiseki]

I can't imagine what use we would have had evolutionary wise.
Yeah some of us are smart, but we barely reproduce. Doesn't get passed down, and now we're just a gaggle of miserable weirdo's on the internet.
I guess we keep video game industries afloat?

I maintain my belief the GLBT community was hijacked by transtrenders and weird millennials who desperately wanted to be special.
There are only 2 genders, intersex is a medical condition, not a gender. You can't be both genders or no gender. Or whatever bizarre mix there of.