Autism/Anxiety-Specific Habits/Strange Behaviors

[Catlover614]

I don't think I have too many quirks, but I can tell when I'm about to revisit a bad memory (usually something embarassing) as soon as I notice it start to happen I make some kind of yelp or vocalization to distract myself. Just some way to flood my mind with something else, I guess, and disrupt that cycle of reliving past bad experiences. When I was younger it was more of a random sound, then I said some specific phrase chastizing myself (actually pretty mean and violent stuff), and now I say something in Arabic. It works pretty good, just to have something to suddenly distract myself with, and move on. I would try doing clapping or snapping my fingers but I think that might take too long and not be mentally occupying as much as saying things.

Other quirks are I guess wrapping my feet around eachother when I'm at a table, or biting off dead skin on my lip like some other people have said.

I have yet to master the ability to distract myself from my traumatic past. Those voices in my head SCREAM at me! I've tried yoga, meditation, calming music and no matter what, those voices and thoughts always return. And, recently, they've been raging mad. I yell, "STOP" and they get quiet for a while, but still recurring images race through my mind and it's definitely a vicious cycle. I have to take 3 Advil PM's to have a good night's sleep. This is really debilitating.

 

[Catlover614]

I smell the soap whenever I run a load of laundry or dishes. I feel like something is missing if I don't (also the soap smells good; that's where it started).
I can't stand walking barefoot on wet grass. It gives me a feeling similar to the worst case of restless legs, and it lasts for half an hour.

Eek! I hate walking through wet grass with my flip flops on even.

 

[Liambruno]

I have yet to master the ability to distract myself from my traumatic past. Those voices in my head SCREAM at me! I've tried yoga, meditation, calming music and no matter what, those voices and thoughts always return. And, recently, they've been raging mad. I yell, "STOP" and they get quiet for a while, but still recurring images race through my mind and it's definitely a vicious cycle. I have to take 3 Advil PM's to have a good night's sleep. This is really debilitating.

I'm lucky not to have had anything serious happen to me. I experience frequent pangs of shame/regret/frustration over minor incidents for years after everyone else has likely forgotten them. I've taken to atonal humming whenever that happens; it's probably weird to watch, but it helps me focus on something else and not be consumed by a pointless emotional tic.

 

[Catlover614]

Is it considered a strange behavior trait to just remain quiet in times of much conversation going on? I do this alot. And I stare in space like I'm dazed and confused, but really just don't have anything to add to the conversation. This is why I remain a recluse. I actually fear speaking my mind because I don't like being trampled on by my difference in opinions so I keep most thoughts to myself. I don't know what constitutes strange behavior anymore. We can ALL be strange at times. I believe that following the norms of society is strange...."Everyone else is doing it"....well, NOT ME. I will most likely always be that girl that nobody wants.

 

[Liambruno]

Is it considered a strange behavior trait to just remain quiet in times of much conversation going on? I do this alot. And I stare in space like I'm dazed and confused, but really just don't have anything to add to the conversation. This is why I remain a recluse. I actually fear speaking my mind because I don't like being trampled on by my difference in opinions so I keep most thoughts to myself. I don't know what constitutes strange behavior anymore. We can ALL be strange at times. I believe that following the norms of society is strange...."Everyone else is doing it"....well, NOT ME. I will most likely always be that girl that nobody wants.

Doesn't seem strange to me, but you've described me perfectly after being in a group for too long (I'd have said party, but I don't know what is and isn't a party).

 

[WistfulAutumn]

I have yet to master the ability to distract myself from my traumatic past. Those voices in my head SCREAM at me! I've tried yoga, meditation, calming music and no matter what, those voices and thoughts always return. And, recently, they've been raging mad. I yell, "STOP" and they get quiet for a while, but still recurring images race through my mind and it's definitely a vicious cycle. I have to take 3 Advil PM's to have a good night's sleep. This is really debilitating.

I'm no expert, but in my amateur opinion, I would think calming your mind and trying to quiet everything would be hopeless against an invasive, intrusive thought like what you've posted about. If its powerful enough to overcome your everyday thinking, then trying to quiet your thinking even more would just make it more passive and able to be drowned out, no? I like that yelling STOP seems to work. It seems like essentially the same thing as what I've come up with. I wonder if the concept can be pushed further, like if certain syllables are more effective because they're more forceful or take more effort to pronounce. Just thinking.

Its too bad that we're so often the source of our own torment. I used to think I was a really great person until I realized how much of a merciless bully I was, except that the only person I ever bullied was myself, inside my own head.

 

[WistfulAutumn]

I'm lucky not to have had anything serious happen to me. I experience frequent pangs of shame/regret/frustration over minor incidents for years after everyone else has likely forgotten them. I've taken to atonal humming whenever that happens; it's probably weird to watch, but it helps me focus on something else and not be consumed by a pointless emotional tic.

Pretty much this. I think it must be universal.

 

[Catlover614]

I'm no expert, but in my amateur opinion, I would think calming your mind and trying to quiet everything would be hopeless against an invasive, intrusive thought like what you've posted about. If its powerful enough to overcome your everyday thinking, then trying to quiet your thinking even more would just make it more passive and able to be drowned out, no? I like that yelling STOP seems to work. It seems like essentially the same thing as what I've come up with. I wonder if the concept can be pushed further, like if certain syllables are more effective because they're more forceful or take more effort to pronounce. Just thinking.

Its too bad that we're so often the source of our own torment. I used to think I was a really great person until I realized how much of a merciless bully I was, except that the only person I ever bullied was myself, inside my own head.

They are powerful enough to keep me from wanting to live. It's true, I beat up myself when I screw up. But those voices are of people who have tormented me while I was innocent. Either I can't or don't know how to escape.

 

[Liambruno]

Pretty much this. I think it must be universal.

Yep. That. Again and again, with or without the memories that initially caused the feeling. It's just like having a hundred people all pointing and laughing at your vulnerability.

 

[clg114]

Is it considered a strange behavior trait to just remain quiet in times of much conversation going on? I do this alot. And I stare in space like I'm dazed and confused, but really just don't have anything to add to the conversation. This is why I remain a recluse. I actually fear speaking my mind because I don't like being trampled on by my difference in opinions so I keep most thoughts to myself. I don't know what constitutes strange behavior anymore. We can ALL be strange at times. I believe that following the norms of society is strange...."Everyone else is doing it"....well, NOT ME. I will most likely always be that girl that nobody wants.

That makes you a individual and that is a good thing. After all, why would you want to be just another brick in the wall?

 

[WistfulAutumn]

They are powerful enough to keep me from wanting to live. It's true, I beat up myself when I screw up. But those voices are of people who have tormented me while I was innocent. Either I can't or don't know how to escape.

Oh thats interesting, I've never had it be someone else's attitude or opinions that I berate myself with. But I've never had anyone be really mean to me or attempt to be hurtful. Or I have had that, but I was so arrogant it somehow didn't connect.

I've read some of the other things you've posted so I can imagine the stuff you've went through must have been bad. I try to look at people like the ones that send out insults and judge others must be really desperate for some sense of superiority, and they're really selfish for taking it out of your psyche. But it sounds like you were dealing with something worse.

 

[Catlover614]

Oh thats interesting, I've never had it be someone else's attitude or opinions that I berate myself with. But I've never had anyone be really mean to me or attempt to be hurtful. Or I have had that, but I was so arrogant it somehow didn't connect.

I've read some of the other things you've posted so I can imagine the stuff you've went through must have been bad. I try to look at people like the ones that send out insults and judge others must be really desperate for some sense of superiority, and they're really selfish for taking it out of your psyche. But it sounds like you were dealing with something worse.

I have gone through some pretty bad treatment of others. I would have to use spoiler alert to divulge in much detail and I'm tired of reliving that nightmare over and over again in my mind. I have chosen to forgive the people who have hurt me and move on. I'm going to be okay. I have such an amazing testimony that I hope will help others. Thank you.

 

[Mia]

I have yet to master the ability to distract myself from my traumatic past. Those voices in my head SCREAM at me! I've tried yoga, meditation, calming music and no matter what, those voices and thoughts always return. And, recently, they've been raging mad. I yell, "STOP" and they get quiet for a while, but still recurring images race through my mind and it's definitely a vicious cycle. I have to take 3 Advil PM's to have a good night's sleep. This is really debilitating.

I know about this, and about the racing thoughts, I remember everything that has ever happened to me emotionally since the age of two. Thought it was simply me, but its also my Aspie brain as well. When menopause began the thoughts would not stop, nor the recriminations, or the inner critic's.

They were all things I internalized all the way back from childhood and afterward. Critical inner voices are a torment, and they make you suffer. My therapist said that 'the things that we tell ourselves are not always true,' they can be lies told to us by other people and sometimes they are simply observations that hurt. Up until about five years ago I had a lifetimes worth of ptsd from contact with my biological family.

You have to work at stopping the thoughts like you have been, recognizing them at first, just noticing, then eventually cutting them off mid-sentence. I've been able to over a period of years to provide counter evidence each time a thought comes to me that I know to be untrue. For example: 'You are lazy' I counter this with a list of things I've done that day, and the recrimination seems to stop. It takes a long time, but you have already changed Catlover and things can only improve. Someone who has experienced the things you have, and come out on the other side has a backbone made of stainless steel. Even if it doesn't feel like that now, you will realize it eventually.

 

[Catlover614]

I know about this, and about the racing thoughts, I remember everything that has ever happened to me emotionally since the age of two. Thought it was simply me, but its also my Aspie brain as well. When menopause began the thoughts would not stop, nor the recriminations, or the inner critic's.

They were all things I internalized all the way back from childhood and afterward. Critical inner voices are a torment, and they make you suffer. My therapist said that 'the things that we tell ourselves are not always true,' they can be lies told to us by other people and sometimes they are simply observations that hurt. Up until about five years ago I had a lifetimes worth of ptsd from contact with my biological family.

You have to work at stopping the thoughts like you have been, recognizing them at first, just noticing, then eventually cutting them off mid-sentence. I've been able to over a period of years to provide counter evidence each time a thought comes to me that I know to be untrue. For example: 'You are lazy' I counter this with a list of things I've done that day, and the recrimination seems to stop. It takes a long time, but you have already changed Catlover and things can only improve. Someone who has experienced the things you have, and come out on the other side has a backbone made of stainless steel. Even if it doesn't feel like that now, you will realize it eventually.

I needed that encouragment, thank you Mia

 

[clearly]

Shaking my legs and feet, foot tapping, particularly my right leg and foot. Sucking my thumb. Nail biting. Stroking my ears, especially when they are cold.

My bookcases, kitchen and bathroom cupboards, and other storage cupboards are as organised as possible and I periodically do a full clean out. I find it harder to reorganise something when someone else has messed it up or changed things from my system of organisation.

Same here, I love stroking my ears, especially when they are cold - ha, I thought I was the only person to do that. It's the only thing that calms me down when I am stressed - I seem to be doing it a lot lately.

Oh and I crack my big toes all the time, I don't realise I am doing it.

Bookcases as well, I have fiction and non fiction books in separate bookcases and the books must graduate from the largest to the left, gradually getting smaller.

 

[Kit]

I refuse to use bread as hamburger buns or hotdog buns. If there aren't any, I just won't have a hamburger and a hotdog.

I play with my nose and pick at my boogers.

I can't stand to go barefoot so I always wear socks

I bite my lip

I push my nose on things literally

I smell books

I don't bother organizing things when my kids mess it up because it takes too much effort and it will just be messed up again so why even bother? It's either get very upset and have meltdowns or forget about it.

 

[Kari Suttle]

If i'm just low-key anxious, like at work b/c its crowded and noisy, I'll sometimes stim by twirling a pen around in my hand, either in my work vest pocket or out in the open. At work there's not much I can do, really, but try to hide from view and lean against the back of the register. I just like the contact. At home if i'm anxious and laying in bed I find being wrapped securely in blankets to be comforting, like a hug really. I'm pretty sure I have some sort of generalized anxiety disorder though so idk how useful my information is.

 

[Anthony Nasti]

When I get angry, I sometimes either bite my hand or smash my hand against my chin very tightly to the point where I'd look almost cross-eyed. It's gotten better in recent years as I've learned more standard coping mechanisms, but sometimes I get exceptionally angry and it pops back up.

 

[eliott8co]

Hey!
[emoji4]
I have strange habits too like biting my lips, banging my head, scratching my face, making squeaky noises, wrapping my bread with salad, lining up my figures, always wanting deep pressure...
Have a good day! [emoji2] [emoji8]

 

[ksheehan88]

Tapping and biting my nails

Shaking my leg/s

twirling my hair

biting my tongue/cheek/lip

I have to have it go knives/forks/spoons in the cutlery drawer.. My partner sometimes puts them in wrong and it really really pisses me off

I wash up in a specific order... glass items, pans, cups, cutlery, utensils, bowls, plates... They go in one at a time and they all go in a certain order in the drainer.

Volumes have to end in 0 or 5.

I lace/unlace my fingers when agitated or anxious

I talk very very fast and get louder if I get excited or agitated

I read text messages repeatedly if they either make me feel really good or really sad.

There are other things too, but right now my minds gone blank and thats what I can remember off the top of my head.