Autism is “ha! ha!” funny

[Kalinychta]

I don’t know if I’m alone here, but…do any of your own or others’ autistically-caused social faux-pas stories make you laugh? So many of the stories I read on this forum make me crack up, and I think of the innumerable “clueless” remarks I’ve made and funny things I’ve done that, though embarrassing at the time, are hilarious in retrospect.

Should we stop being so embarrassed by our conduct and start seeing it as hilarious and quirky or, at worst, madcap? I’m not trying to diminish anyone’s pain, but seriously, autistic people are pretty damn funny, and it makes us uniquely cool.

Share your funny stories here, please!

 

[Misery]

Frequently, yes. Though I usually keep the giggling to myself, really.

As for my own stories, well... honestly I dont have much. Well, okay, I DO have hilarious stupid things I do, but since I simply dont socialize, they dont involve social situations. Mostly it's really airheaded things I do on my own, like that story about the hotel door that I've told a bunch of times on here. Or that time when I tried to make a sandwich out of toothpaste. I still dont know how that one happened. Or there's the time when I was driving to a hotel in a sorta crowded area, and the ol' perception issues kicked in, and instead of turning into the actual entrance I got the car wedged in the maintenance / unloading track that you definitely arent supposed to go near.

 

[SusanLR]

I have been told that the things I say or the way I describe something is often
funny.

My therapist even once told me she knew I wasn't trying to be funny, but I am.
It just comes out that way.
A few other people have said the same.
I'm not aware of what I say as being funny until sometimes looking back on what I've said I realize how it sounded.

I'm not embarrassed, and sometimes laugh at myself for the way I said something.
This happens so much I can't think of many right now.
One incident in a fast- food place does come to mind:

I ordered a hot dog and the waitress told me the foot longs were the same price that day.
I said they were too long and skinny. I like my hot dogs more short and fat.

 

[Slime_Punk]

A few years ago I got pulled over (my worst nightmare) over a mix up -- the cop said "someone reported this tag as stolen" and I immediately blurted out, "Wait, the tag's not on the car??". He tried really hard not to laugh.

Mostly I just shut up in social situations to avoid embarrassing myself, or avoid them as much as possible.

 

[Kalinychta]

One of my most recent faux pas was: someone asked me in a meeting at work what my superpower was, and I had no idea what he meant. (And I thought it was a stupid question anyway because I’m not twelve years old anymore.) So I asked if he was talking about comic book superhero stuff, and after a cavernous silence he said…”Yes.” I decided he was asking what superpower I would like to have, so I started talking about invisibility and how cool that would be…but then midsentence I remembered that I had read The Invisible Man by H.G. Welles and I knew exactly what happened to that guy, so I started backtracking and neverminding. Later I realized the guy wasn’t talking about superhero powers at all. Whoops.

 

[Kalinychta]

A few years ago I got pulled over (my worst nightmare) over a mix up -- the cop said "someone reported this tag as stolen" and I immediately blurted out, "Wait, the tag's not on the car??". He tried really hard not to laugh.

Hahaha!!!! That’s the best!!!!

 

[kriss72]

I have a very limited social life outside my home, but I frequently (unintentionally) make others laugh, and I don't always get why - like the time I was visiting one of my friends, and he showed me around in a park/museum thingy, there was an old tree with a sign telling why this tree was important and that it was 700 years old (It could have been 500 I don't remember the number now) so I asked him, do they change that sign every year as the tree gets older, he found that question very funny...

 

[Misery]

Okay hold on I've got another one. Again this aint a social one, but still, this also isnt one of my finer moments.

So, I'm at the house down in Florida, right. It was both a familiar place and also unfamiliar at the same time, yeah? Particularly at night.

So, I'm in bed, middle of the night, it's super dark in there, and I need to get up to go use the bathroom. Generally, I sorta feel my way out of the room and of course also go by knowing where everything is anyway. I'm sure everyone here has the experience of feeling their way through a familiar dark room at night.

Well, I get up, but forget that this is not the main house where I normally am, and so the usual route that I would walk through to get out of the room isnt there. Instead, where their would be a direct path to the door, there is now a closet, which is shut. What I actually NEED to do is get up and turn left and THEN go forward, but I went just forward and walked into the closet.

Okay, that was silly, sit down for a moment, okay right now I'm more clear on this, heading over to the bathroom now.

I walked into the closet door again.

Okay, okay, I'm gonna sit down, clear my head, actually think this time, and realize that I'm not in the usual house. Gotta actually do this right.

I'm surprised that nobody else was woken up by the thunderous crash that followed that, as I managed to get into the closet without opening the door first.

Eventually I did find my way into the bathroom. But not before I walked into a doorframe.

I just couldn't brain that day.

 

[Mary Terry]

My beloved nephew, who is on the spectrum and is mostly nonverbal, exclaimed after eating a big lunch with me that he was "fed up". I got very concerned and said "oh, no! what is wrong?!" He started laughing and said "no, no, no, I am full!"

He's hilarious, sometimes deliberately, sometimes accidently.

 

[Outdated]

My boss was complaining that his wife wanted to get a nose job. She thought her nose was too big and people kept looking at it. The words jumped out of my mouth before I could stop them - If she's that worried about people looking at her face she could try wearing shorter skirts.

 

[Outdated]

Riding my bike home from the pub one night very drunk, I got stopped by police. I hadn't been doing anything wrong and I was riding on a separate bicycle track and not on the road, but the cop saw I was a bit wobbly and decided to stop me any way.

He decided to fine me for riding while under the influence, I just accepted that and said "OK". He seemed to have expected me to react a lot more strongly than that and started telling me that I don't appreciate the gravity of the situation.

In my mind at the time it seemed like he wanted me to beg or grovel or something. I'm not capable of that, it goes completely against my nature, so I let him rant a bit, and then he said "You know this means you're going to lose your driver's license.".

I said "Thank you so much for the advice, officer.". All of a sudden he looked really confused and he asked "What advice?". I said "Well obviously I may as well have just driven the motor car.".

He swore at me and tore the ticket up, got back in his car, and drove away.

 

[TBRS1]

Two general things that, even though I know are "trick questions" still trick me:

A statement that begins with "What do you know about xxxxxxx?" sounds like a request for information. By my lights, the polite response to a request for information is to provide the requested info - I respond as if you had asked Alexa for info.

Unfortunately, "What do you know about xxxxxx?" Is REALLY a conversation opener meaning something like "I've been thinking about xxxxxx and I want to tell you my thoughts."

The correct response to the question is "Not much. Why?"

Being misqued, I end up looking like a know-it-all conversation hog.


The second trick question is: "Would you like xxxxxxxx?"

This sounds like a question about my preferences, but, unless it is asked by someone being paid to provide a service (waiter, auto mechanic, etc.) It is always some form of social invitation - would you like to get coffee? Would you like to hear about my vacation? Would you like to hear my tragic backstory? Would you like to meet somebody interesting?

When I'm asked anything beginning with "Would you like ..." My brain freezes for a noticeable stretch of time while I try to figure out if I'm being invited, or if somebody actually cares about my personal choices...

 

[Outdated]

When I'm asked anything beginning with "Would you like ..." My brain freezes for a noticeable stretch of time while I try to figure out if I'm being invited, or if somebody actually cares about my personal choices...

I got caught out by that one a couple of years ago. I recognised the man that knocked on my door, he was one of the full time carers for a house over the road. He knocked on my door one afternoon and asked me "Would you like some visitors?".

No.

His face turned angry and he stalked away. A few minutes later he got in his car and took off like a bat out of hell. It was only then that I realised what he must have been trying to ask - he needed to run an errand but couldn't leave his charges unattended.

Still, I was happy with the way things worked out.

 

[TBRS1]

I got caught out by that one a couple of years ago. I recognised the man that knocked on my door, he was one of the full time carers for a house over the road. He knocked on my door one afternoon and asked me "Would you like some visitors?".

No.

His face turned angry and he stalked away. A few minutes later he got in his car and took off like a bat out of hell. It was only then that I realised what he must have been trying to ask - he needed to run an errand but couldn't leave his charges unattended.

Still, I was happy with the way things worked out.

Yup. That's how it works.

Or: " Do you want to look at my vacation photos?"

Uhm... Nope. I've seen better pictures of all those places without your image blocking the view. Oh! Wait! You want to tell me about your fun and exciting trip. OK! Go ahead!

 

[Outdated]

Or: " Do you want to look at my vacation photos?"

Friends of mine had just come back from the Philippines and I got stuck sitting between them while the wife started showing me photos of her family. I have very poor facial recognition and photos of complete strangers aren't really very interesting to me so I just sat there being polite, looking at each photo then passing them to her husband.

After a few minutes she noticed what I was doing and said "I know, I know. We all look like monkey to you.".

 

[Aspychata]

I tend to be in the moment , no filter, and sometimes people laugh, or want to punch me. So masking is very important unless with friends. Actually l am quite surprised how much people laugh at me. Yes, at me. But they seem to not be threatened by me. Sometimes life feels so sad, that you need to find the joke to help people relax. The important thing about humor, is seeing the logic of a situation however, enveloping it in humor so as not to upset or distress the person dealing with it.

 

[Mary Terry]

If Doc Martin really is supposed to be on the spectrum, then the success of the show is largely due to the humor behind his utter honesty in dealing with humanity. I wish I could say and do things as he does in the show because it often is exactly what I'm thinking but society would come unglued if I did or said what he does. Bad NT! Bad NT! Bad NT not observing the social rules!

 

[Judge]

I wish I could say and do things as he does in the show because it often is exactly what I'm thinking but society would come unglued if I did or said what he does. Bad NT! Bad NT! Bad NT not observing the social rules!

Unglued? Nope. But I might have to roll up a newspaper and chase you a bit.

 

[Fino]

Yep! I'm the funniest person anyone knows pretty much. It's just almost never intentional. And people have gotten used to it to the point where nothing I say is ever offensive, just funny.

 

[Tired]

Anyone else has some funny stories? This thread is pretty positive