Autism validation

[Kevin L.]

still in the process of recovering.

OK. It's hard work, so stick with it and don't give up. Push yourself in therapy even when you don't want to. I have had to get physical therapy when I had back surgery (a spinal fusion with steel rods and a metal plate), so I requested the nastiest, meanest, most unsympathetic physical therapist available.

I was--therefore--assigned a physical therapist whom was going through a very bitter, hostile, confrontational divorce, and--as a consequence--had ambivalent feelings toward men. She was also ex-military, and is a former Army drill seargent whom was assigned to Fort Dixon.

This was how I made progress, and resumed a reasonable quality of life free of drug addiction from the chronic use of opiates.

So stick with it even if it's painful and tedious. It will be worth it.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Therapy ended months ago wife and I making our own therapy lots of walking.

 

[Kevin L.]

Hi guys, I got a lot of validation and support from everyone on this forum, so I wanted to share some good news:

I just found out yesterday that I got accepted into nursing school!

Thank you again everyone for the support!

I start in January.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

That is wonderful! What a demanding career. I have always especially valued OR nurses as protectors of patients since they cannot be deferential to surgeons when lapses of sterile procedure occur.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

good luck on the beginning of your journey. with use baby boombers leaving the stage we will need you.

 

[watersprite]

What I would like is a valid, rational argument that I could use to counter this so that--when I walk away--I'm not just validating what they say, and strengthening their resolve to "refrain from enabling me like an alcoholic."

When my son who does not have autism but does have a speech disability ran into these sorts of problems, he thoroughly researched the legal ramifications for the school. This info. was then used as a battering ram, but spoken with care and only to the right people.
It helped that he had the most and the highest AP test scores achieved at the school.

He found that their funding (U.S.) depends on providing equal opportunity for all students. He won. He did have a battle with a couple of teachers but by that time, the admins all the way up to State level knew he would pursue it in court if necessary. He is highly self motivated and persistent.
Now, a couple of years later, he is excelling academically, at university.

I wish you the best.

 

[Kevin L.]

When my son who does not have autism but does have a speech disability ran into these sorts of problems, he thoroughly researched the legal ramifications for the school. This info. was then used as a battering ram, but spoken with care and only to the right people.
It helped that he had the most and the highest AP test scores achieved at the school.

He found that their funding (U.S.) depends on providing equal opportunity for all students. He won. He did have a battle with a couple of teachers but by that time, the admins all the way up to State level knew he would pursue it in court if necessary. He is highly self motivated and persistent.
Now, a couple of years later, he is excelling academically, at university.

I wish you the best.

Thank you very much.

 

[Matthias]

Hi guys.

One thing I've heard for much of my adult life from my family--and now I'm hearing it from college professors--is the following statement:

"Autistic people usually have a special, obsessive, all-consuming interest. If you made normalcy your special interest, than you wouldn't be autistic anymore . . . and since you choose to not make normalcy your special interest . . . well . . . that's why you choose to be autistic."

How does an autistic person respond to this in a positive, healthy way?

I get this from my family, my management at work, and the administration and/or professors at school.

What does one say in response to this?

I think the best response would be to accept the advice and be more normal. Quit believing you're different from other people, worrying about people finding out you're different, and overthinking situations. Start being yourself, embracing your emotions, expressing your opinions, and enjoying your life. Whenever people give you advice, think about how you can use their advice to make yourself a better person.

 

[Kevin L.]

I think the best response would be to accept the advice and be more normal. Quit believing you're different from other people, worrying about people finding out you're different, and overthinking situations. Start being yourself, embracing your emotions, expressing your opinions, and enjoying your life. Whenever people give you advice, think about how you can use their advice to make yourself a better person.

OK. How does one go about being "more normal?"

I would love to find out how.

I--for example--have problems with clothing and light sensitivity. Do I just pretend that it doesn't bother me when I am--for example--taking a complicated math test at school?

 

[Matthias]

OK. How does one go about being "more normal?"

I would love to find out how.

I--for example--have problems with clothing and light sensitivity. Do I just pretend that it doesn't bother me when I am--for example--taking a complicated math test at school?

I'm saying to try not to focus on those issues and focus instead on enjoying your life. Do what you can, such as finding the best clothes that work for you and get some sunglasses if you need them, and then pay attention to more important areas of your life that help you feel better.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I think the best response would be to accept the advice and be more normal. Quit believing you're different from other people, worrying about people finding out you're different, and overthinking situations. Start being yourself, embracing your emotions, expressing your opinions, and enjoying your life. Whenever people give you advice, think about how you can use their advice to make yourself a better person.

I replied on another thread that: We are not our autism. That means that we have the freedom to modify our thinking and behaviors as our situations evolve without ever losing ourselves as unique individuals.

 

[Au Naturel]

I think the best response would be to accept the advice and be more normal. Quit believing you're different from other people, worrying about people finding out you're different, and overthinking situations. Start being yourself, embracing your emotions, expressing your opinions, and enjoying your life. Whenever people give you advice, think about how you can use their advice to make yourself a better person.

I agree with most of what you say here. But...

You can't really make normalcy a special interest. Special interests are obsessive in nature. Becoming obsessed over "being normal" sounds like a prescription for frustration.

A lot of that advice you get? Not gonna help. They don't understand what it is to be you. People could give me the world's best basketball advice but I am still incapable of executing it. Autism can be like that.

Smile and thank them and take it under advisement. Sometimes you'll be able to separate the wheat from the chaff immediately. To take advantage of the wisdom you might find you have to clear out your own biases and preconceptions really think about how it might be applicable in your situation. You'll still end up rejecting most of it but there'll be flakes of gold in the buckets of tailings.