Awkward emotional responses.

[Progster]

Same here. Injustice makes me feel angry, but some ad tales make me want to cry. I often watch documentaries where people are giving interviews and they get all emotional when talking about a deceased relative or looking at old photos. That kind of thing doesn't get me emotional - I don't get emotinal when thinking about my father, for example.

 

[Outdated]

It often amazes me that people think I'm the one with social problems. I think I'm one of the only normal humans and the others are too interbred.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Is that like when my fiance started screwing around on me and she told me it was my fault for empowering her?

Don't be sad, it was a very long time ago and my life turned out better for it.

I feel like we must have dated some of the same people

 

[Outdated]

I feel like we must have dated some of the same people

Apparently she gets around a bit.

 

[Kemetic]

I’m fairly hardened to a lot of what I see in the world, and I really have seen a lot that I hope the rest of you don’t. So when I watch movies or see stories on the news they don’t upset me. I’ve sat the death watch with a couple of old friends and they thanked me for my company because I wasn’t getting all emotionally over excited about the situation. They found my presence calming.

But then something seemingly small and insignificant can leave me bawling my eyes out. This morning’s example is from the movie I posted a link about for Luca. It’s a good movie, one I love, but when I read the credits about the real Red Dog and how a town erected a statue for him when he died I lost it.

I’ve been like this most of my life but I don’t understand why. Does anyone else have similar experiences?

Yes, I can absolutely relate.
There's a lot of things that are expected to have an emotional impact, but leave me unmoved. My grandmother talking about wanting to die. My father in law actually dying. Family members being upset. Our cat dying... I feel inside myself and all I "get" is calm and rational.

On the other hand, a sad book or movie makes me cry every time and I have trouble watching action movies because I cannot stand the suspenseful and dramatic scenes (if I have to watch them I need to intentionally "phase out" during those bits).
And I totally cried over our cat later when small things reminded my of her.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I tend to be calm, effective and useful in real crises, but can totally lose it when something little goes wrong.

I don’t think it is being hardened. I think it has more to do with the clarity of the need and being willing to step up when needed.

 

[Thinx]

I think probably certain things will trigger each of us more than others, and that's likely related to our own needs and hopes? Which we are not always conscious of ourselves. I haven't seen the Red dog film, but the idea of people caring about him and remembering him in a memorial does sound powerfully poignant to me.

 

[1ForAll]

Like many have posted so far, I do not show much emotion. I come across really calm and most of my strong feelings stay within. But, certain things on rare occasion cause me to have a tear or two in my eye. It seems to be always either when someone does something totally nice, inspiring, unexpected and/or outside the typical goodness norm, in a very caring and unselfish way; a really good deed to a really disadvantaged or victimized person without wanting the attention for it, or when someone says something about me that I wished my parents or others had said to me.

Thus, in my case, I think I need to see something that is very jolting, like in terms of much compassion shown, and if I sense much understanding, see sincere complement that I always desired but never received before, or if I saw like some great deed or effort outside their usual ways or that I felt showed extreme kindness to unimaginable levels, and/or if the sincerity shown I sensed was to extreme levels. Those situations may be needed to get any certain feelings like any crying out of me, and as rare past experiences showed..

It could be either a situation like where a very abused child, animal or adult found a very safe and comfortable home, with them experiencing finally some stability or happiness there, or like if someone pulled me aside and said, "You know, you seem like a great dad for all you do" or "I wish I met someone as nice and caring as you." I mean, I like very happy/unexpected endings and when others appreciate others' selfless great efforts and sincere kindness towards others. It makes me sad when persons take all that for granted. So, when I see someone sincerely notices it and calls attention to it on rare occasion, it can bring a few tears.

So, although I have the ability to empathize with most persons, I tend to on rare times let out that emotion for those big helpers and victims, usually for cases I most relate to, like if those situations seem similar to those rare times in my life that one or more reached out to help me, and if they seem similar to the abuses I faced or where more harms I sense occurred, but with some happier ending. It makes me really happy for the giver/helper and receiver/victim in those cases I empathize with or relate most to, and when others focus on complementing those who go out of their way to be really good persons or who just always seem to have been that way.

 

[Outdated]

Thank you so much, 1ForAll. You've just described exactly what goes on in me with words that I was unable to articulate. It's always those acts of kindness that make me cry. Can be embarrassing at times.

 

[OddlyGodly]

I definitely understand that. I can deal with loved ones passing and certain situations that would leave others in shambles and I'm stoic.

Let me watch the ending of "Edward Scissorhands" when she's telling the story to her granddaughter and they are talking about the snow and she says "sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it." I lose it every time.

I also laugh at much different times than others do. My wife watches me when we are watching movies and says "that wasn't funny to you?" I'll say no then bust out laughing at something everyone else thinks is stupid.

 

[1ForAll]

Thank you so much, 1ForAll. You've just described exactly what goes on in me with words that I was unable to articulate. It's always those acts of kindness that make me cry. Can be embarrassing at times.

Thanks @Outdated. I know what you mean. It takes effort to stop those tears those times. If I'm alone I let it flow. If near others, I try to divert my mind to something else sometimes if those outward feelings cannot stop sooner than later. But, I think getting those feelings out from time to time can be good for us. I see that as a sign of strength and our more care. You seem like a great, caring and wise person. I really enjoy your posts

 

[GypsyMoth]

I can see why you really reacted to the honor the village paid the Red Dog. (I haven't seen the clip, just what you wrote.) Your best friend was your dog. She was a good dog. You loved that dog.

Of course you cried when you saw those credits because it was something you could relate to personally, something that meant a lot to you.

I don't typically cry. I, too, have sat at the bedside of a dying person. I've been to dozens of funerals. I did start getting depressed during Covid, when we attended over a dozen funerals in 7 months (& none of them were Covid related). I have, however, been to a couple of particularly moving funerals. they were ones where the people talked freely about what the deceased meant to them, or read snippets out of the deceased person's journal, or in some way brought their lived experience of the person out into the experience of the funeral. Then I'd just sit there and cry. (Silently, so that nobody would notice. It's kind of weird, don't you think, crying at a stranger's funeral?) I didn't even know these people. But seeing how deeply they had touched the lives of those around them, I found that I got to know a little about them, too. I think I was crying, though, not for the deceased, but for the people who now have to go on with life devoid of their loved one.

I hate going to funerals. I love the people who are there and, despite myself and my reluctance to share in their burden, continue to have compassion for them in their suffering. You learn a lot about who people are by how they talk about the life they once shared with their loved one.

 

[Duncan74]

I also think that in my case then all the emotion just builds up in me, sadness, frustration, rage, despondency, and then there's one little thing that I can make sense of and so all these little strands of emotion that have been collecting in me find an outlet / complete pathway and so I tend to then over-deliver on that emotional release.

 

[Duncan74]

Damn, I lost a post. Hope this works.

So after being about 6 months since my last cry, by chance after thread (or because?) then last night I was stood in the street surrounded by people having a good cry. Thankfully Oakley sunnies are great for hiding that ;-)

I was listening/watching an amazing busker, playing on the shore of Lake Wakitipu (Queenstown) at sunset. He plays his own compositions, and has a Masters in Music Therapy. Was amazing. Luke Gajdus is his name.

 

[Outdated]

Damn, I lost a post. Hope this works.

I saw your post in the other thread too, I'll listen to the clip shortly. I'm glad you've managed to enjoy some of your trip.

 

[SusanLR]

Same with me. I've sit death watches, worked in medical fields and felt the energies that come with death. Even six weeks with my father in a coma with everything attached to him you can imagine.

I hate politics also and the news showing wars or graphic violence doesn't phase me.
I don't watch the news regularly anyway. No interest in it but do see it occasionally when around the man I live with as that is ALL he watches.

I am a crime and horror movie fan. No nightmares or scares.
What will make me cry is things I relate to.
Things that remind me of people and pets I've loved and lost.
Movies that have scenes about animals that suffer in some way.
Scenes of things I longed for in life that never happened.
And the pictures of the suffering animals when they ask for help.

If it hits a personal note, tears come that I can't stop.

I'm seeing Avatar today too. Hope it's as good as the first one.
In 3D it was so beautiful.

 

[Outdated]

Movies that have scenes about animals that suffer in some way.

This doesn't make me cry. It makes me extremely angry if the suffering was caused maliciously but it doesn't make me sad. My mother's family were bush people and our responsibility towards animals was something hammered in to me from an early age.

Seeing an entire community mourn the death of an animal, that made me cry. Seeing a story about some Ukranian children doing well in school in England made me cry. A story about a lady that got a group of autistic children to draw pictures, then she made each of them a plush toy that looked just like the picture they had drawn.

It wasn't until people started replying to this thread, and especially the response from 1ForAll, that I was able to see the pattern. It's not going to solve anything or change my behaviour in any way, but understanding why helps.

 

[SusanLR]

@Outdated I'm glad you see your pattern and reasons.
Good for you, literally. And good reply.