Being able to detach

[Roisin]

My anxiety seems to be able to squash every good intention these days.
Just the thought of having to leave my house is enough to make me tremble like "green saplings in a breeze".
The only times I can detach now, are when reading an easy book (good fiction, no factual stuff), doing crafts, fiddling with my machines, watching a video, or playing a game.
Absolutely anything that makes me think about real life, causes my anxiety to go up.

I think I understand, I'll share something similar that happened to me after I recognised I was Autistic, in the hope it might be of help.

The new awareness brought a different type of anxiety, coming ftom the permanency of the areas I struggled with.
Eg I'm anxious because the threats I could face are real, I actually can't navigate certain social situations, it was bigger than this example, spanning all areas of my life, kind of like an existential crisis.

Regulating my sensory sensitivites was a building block for handling anxiety inducing situations, the two for me are interconnected.
Anxiety is a continuous companion in life, Im always working with it, most times though it respects the boundaries Ive given it.

I guess whst Im saying is that while anxiety can be managed this requires a lot of work.

 

[Neia]

I think I understand, I'll share something similar that happened to me after I recognised I was Autistic, in the hope it might be of help.

The new awareness brought a different type of anxiety, coming ftom the permanency of the areas I struggled with.
Eg I'm anxious because the threats I could face are real, I actually can't navigate certain social situations, it was bigger than this example, spanning all areas of my life, kind of like an existential crisis.

Regulating my sensory sensitivites was a building block for handling anxiety inducing situations, the two for me are interconnected.
Anxiety is a continuous companion in life, Im always working with it, most times though it respects the boundaries Ive given it.

I guess whst Im saying is that while anxiety can be managed this requires a lot of work.

I discovered that I'm autistic after starting to look for reasons for my constant anxiety and panic attacks.
A video about a lady that was diagnosed late in life came up on my youtube feed.
Suddenly, everything about me started making sense.
Unfortunately, my ability to deal with anxiety didn't return.

That's new for me. I was always mostly able to keep it in check, to suppress it. But not anymore.
It's as if my brain, my whole body actually, have given up on that, have said enough!

 

[Roisin]

I discovered that I'm autistic after starting to look for reasons for my constant anxiety and panic attacks.
A video about a lady that was diagnosed late in life came up on my youtube feed.
Suddenly, everything about me started making sense.
Unfortunately, my ability to deal with anxiety didn't return.

That's new for me. I was always mostly able to keep it in check, to suppress it. But not anymore.
It's as if my brain, my whole body actually, have given up on that, have said enough!

My experience: Anxiety is quite determined; avoiding or suppressing it can feel successful for a while, but then it starts to leak out, and it turns out that all of the times it felt like it went away by avoidance/suppression isn't what happened... it was banked for later, in a high-interest account and revisits you in an ever amplified way, forcing you to acknowledge it.

It would be overwhelming for you if this is what is happening.

 

[AuAL]

Realising I was autistic was a significant, positive transition for me. I came to it via therapy for serious depression and anxiety. (I had gone to some very dark places.) It was useful (at least to me) to realise that depression deals with the past and anxiety deals with the future. Neither deals with the present.

I took a holiday in India earlier this year. While there, a Hindu priest tied a kautuka on my wrist. This is a reminder to consider your karma - essentially, at any moment, to consider the future consequences of your actions. It pulls you back into thinking about living your best life, moment to moment. The sensation on your wrist says, “you are living here, now.” It has helped me.

 

[Au Naturel]

depression deals with the past and anxiety deals with the future. Neither deals with the present

Bingo!

You know, very few people "get" that philosophy is a tremendous asset in getting through painful times and in making good times more meaningful.

People have written about achieving inner peace despite outer adversity for literally thousands of years in hundreds of different philosophical and religious traditions, yet none of it applies to me.

Actually, it's arrogant in a way.

 

[Neri]

For me, it shows up physically a lot of the time. My body reacts with racing heart, shaking body, sweats and a desire to get back to my "safe space". Yes, I can "cognitive behavioral" myself into ignoring what my body is telling me, t0 a certain extent. But for what benefit? I, generally, save my energy for things that are essential, like musical performance, peer networking and support events.
Unfortunately, my body doesn't like much out in the world mundane stuff.
If I ignore my body I will undoubtedly pay for it with burn out, sickness, meltdowns and general dysregulation.
I am learning to accept myself and how my body shows up to let me know how it wants to live.
White knuckling led to multiple nervous breakdowns and severe burn out, with very intense brain fog and what I call "soggy cotton wool brain". Thems the breaks for us ASD2ers.

 

[Au Naturel]

For me, it shows up physically a lot of the time. My body reacts with racing heart, shaking body, sweats and a desire to get back to my "safe space". Yes, I can "cognitive behavioral" myself into ignoring what my body is telling me, t0 a certain extent. But for what benefit? I, generally, save my energy for things that are essential, like musical performance, peer networking and support events.
Unfortunately, my body doesn't like much out in the world mundane stuff.
If I ignore my body I will undoubtedly pay for it with burn out, sickness, meltdowns and general dysregulation.
I am learning to accept myself and how my body shows up to let me know how it wants to live.
White knuckling led to multiple nervous breakdowns and severe burn out, with very intense brain fog and what I call "soggy cotton wool brain". Thems the breaks for us ASD2ers.

The acceptance part is intended to short-circuit fight-or-flight reactions to situations where neither fight nor flight is useful before the anxiety sets in. That way, you don't have to "ignore your body." There is nothing amiss to ignore.

It is what it is.

This too, shall pass away.

The strength to change what I can, accept what I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It isn't something one picks up quickly. First, you have to believe it is possible. Takes months to begin to make progress, years to get down, and will be a work in progress your entire life. But I think it is worth the effort

 

[Neri]

The acceptance part is intended to short-circuit fight-or-flight reactions to situations where neither fight nor flight is useful before the anxiety sets in. That way, you don't have to "ignore your body." There is nothing amiss to ignore.

It is what it is.

This too, shall pass away.

The strength to change what I can, accept what I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It isn't something one picks up quickly. First, you have to believe it is possible. Takes months to begin to make progress, years to get down, and will be a work in progress your entire life. But I think it is worth the effort

Definitely

 

[Au Naturel]

I went to a therapist to talk about some anxiety that was creeping back into my life, and she looked up my history. Turns out that a psychiatrist I'd talked to diagnosed me with ADHD... in 2007. Never knew. I suppose better late than never...

 

[Outdated]

I wish doctors here would learn to speak better English, and that includes the ones that were born here.

Depression is not Anxiety.
Being sad is not the same as being worried.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I wish doctors here would learn to speak better English, and that includes the ones that were born here.

Depression is not Anxiety.
Being sad is not the same as being worried.

Being sad is not the same as depression.

 

[Outdated]

Being sad is not the same as depression.

In me depression presents as a lack of joy and a lack of enthusiasm and motivation. It also makes it easier for dark thoughts to start forming but I'm fairly well disciplined in that regard. I often describe it as "feeling flat".

I have also suffered anxiety a few times in my life but that's a natural response to real world issues that were affecting me, being worried about my future. When I'm in that state my mind becomes incredibly active and motivated and it doesn't take long for me to make a few decisions and change my circumstances.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

In me depression presents as a lack of joy and a lack of enthusiasm and motivation. It also makes it easier for dark thoughts to start forming but I'm fairly well disciplined in that regard. I often describe it as "feeling flat".

I have also suffered anxiety a few times in my life but that's a natural response to real world issues that were affecting me, being worried about my future. When I'm in that state my mind becomes incredibly active and motivated and it doesn't take long for me to make a few decisions and change my circumstances.

My understanding of depression is that it persists with no external explanation for the symptoms. For example, the symptoms for someone suffering the loss of a loved one and someone who is depressed might be similar, but symptoms are an appropriate response to the former and should recede with time.

The difference between fear and anxiety is similar. Fear is a short term response to a real time fear. If someone is pointing a gun at me, I am afraid. Anxiety is similar to fear except the immanent presence of danger is absent.

Right now my anxiety is high and feeding into it are all the things I am dealing with now, but even with all that stuff, there is really no need for fear at this time. I have a home and a car and enough money for good, etc. There is no wolf at my door. But I am fearful throughout the day and night.

 

[Outdated]

My understanding of depression is that it persists with no external explanation for the symptoms.

That fits with my experience too. Right now my quality of life is far better than most people even in my own country, I can't fathom a reason for why I go through bouts of depression, I'm just grateful they don't last forever.

I haven't had any anxiety since I jumped on a plane to come down to Adelaide though. While I was living on the streets a lot of people couldn't understand why I was always so happy and positive but mostly what I felt was relief at having a way out of the situation that had been causing me so much angst.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

That fits with my experience too. Right now my quality of life is far better than most people even in my own country, I can't fathom a reason for why I go through bouts of depression, I'm just grateful they don't last forever.

I haven't had any anxiety since I jumped on a plane to come down to Adelaide though. While I was living on the streets a lot of people couldn't understand why I was always so happy and positive but mostly what I felt was relief at having a way out of the situation that had been causing me so much angst.

Apparently when one is really upset, it is the amygdala that gets all fired up and controls everything. This is something I generally understood. But at the same time, the frontal lobe goes black. This is on PET scans of the brain. If the frontal lobe is not working (ie black) there is no way to think reasonably.

I found that part scary.

 

[Au Naturel]

I wish doctors here would learn to speak better English, and that includes the ones that were born here.

Depression is not Anxiety.
Being sad is not the same as being worried.

Wildly different physiological expressions. I will say they often go together. Depression can be a way to defuse chronic anxiety by turning off overwhelming emotional reactions.

 

[Au Naturel]

My understanding of depression is that it persists with no external explanation for the symptoms. For example, the symptoms for someone suffering the loss of a loved one and someone who is depressed might be similar, but symptoms are an appropriate response to the former and should recede with time.

The difference between fear and anxiety is similar. Fear is a short term response to a real time fear. If someone is pointing a gun at me, I am afraid. Anxiety is similar to fear except the immanent presence of danger is absent.

Right now my anxiety is high and feeding into it are all the things I am dealing with now, but even with all that stuff, there is really no need for fear at this time. I have a home and a car and enough money for good, etc. There is no wolf at my door. But I am fearful throughout the day and night.

Anxiety can also persist with no external explanation. It hides in your lower brain and looks for things to attach itself to. Once the cortisol and adrenaline flow, rational thought evaporates.

Something causes a spike in negative emotion, and if it reaches a critical level, it triggers a full-blown anxiety crisis that can persist for however long. It can be something you objectively know can be dealt with, but every time you even think about it, you ramp up into a panic. It feels like you are getting closer and closer to a hot stove, even though you know it's just something you have to deal with. Intrusive thoughts and catastrophic thinking keep it roiling.

The result is that the trigger can't be dealt with, and the anxiety persists long after it could have been resolved. However, the thing that triggered the anxiety is not actually the cause of the anxiety. The cause is an oversensitive anxiety function. I believe we have natural defenses against chronic anxiety, but not everyone has the same level of defense. The defenses can be breached by trauma or old age. You go into a semipermanent fight or flight mode even though there is nothing you can fight and no place to flee. The result is often exhaustion, ulcers, and high blood pressure.

Anxiety serves a purpose in a Paleolithic hunter-gatherer tribe. In modern life, it is counterproductive. We don't have to worry about an unseen saber-toothed cat springing out of the bushes while we're out hunting. Civilized anxiety lasts and lasts because what we are most anxious over are things that we have no control over.

You can simply be anxious about existence—a nameless brooding dread that you can't put a finger on. It is the physiological equivalent of thinking sabre-toothed cats are everywhere.

Philosophy (everyone laugh) is not intended to dampen anxiety when it kicks in. That takes more mental discipline than I have. The point of philosophy is to keep the various shocks of life down to a level that doesn't trigger anxiety to begin with.