Being Autistic vs. having Autism.

[Maelstrom]

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a NT and sail through life and have love and family.
But if I lost my mental abilities that come with my autism....it would be the same a erasing me, I would be so boring and dumb.........
Being a unusual and interesting person does come with a price in life...but boring, is still boring.
I say I am autistic....and they had better like it......I also call my self a Auspie, (Auti/aspie).
People who devalue me for having autism lose....friend points....I am still as much me after the word as I was before....there is no call to start treating me like I am retarded. And at the end of the day I am most likely way smarter than them, so it is really just rude to pretend I am retarded.

They learn to like it, or they learn to stay away from my social circle, Autism bigotry is not Christian.
People who misuse labels to devalue others socially really are not nice people anyways so I don't miss them much...their loss not mine.
My friends should see value in me as a person...I am interesting!

 

[StephF]

It seems to me that different places in England use different diagnostic criteria. Some use the DSM-V others use the ICD-10.

I'm in Devon and they use the ICD-10 where I was diagnosed. Asperger's Syndrome exists as a condition under the ICD.

I prefer Asperger's rather than Autism Spectrum as I feel that people in general have a false perception of Autism.

 

[Guppyfry]

I am still as much me after the word as I was before....there is no call to start treating me like I am retarded. And at the end of the day I am most likely way smarter than them, so it is really just rude to pretend I am retarded.

I know, right? I've had people in the past, upon hearing that I had Asperger's immediatly start talking slowly, loudly, while artculating each word very carfully - suddenly I can't understand English anymore? Really?

Just one more reason I very, very, VERY rarely disclose.

Best reaction is "Oh, I could tell that something was a bit different about you. You are doing super well despite the difficulties you must face! That is awesome!", and they go back to interacting with you exactly the way they did before.

Extra friend points to them!

 

[Maelstrom]

I know, right? I've had people in the past, upon hearing that I had Asperger's immediatly start talking slowly, loudly, while artculating each word very carfully - suddenly I can't understand English anymore? Really?

Just one more reason I very, very, VERY rarely disclose.

Best reaction is "Oh, I could tell that something was a bit different about you. You are doing super well despite the difficulties you must face! That is awesome!", and they go back to interacting with you exactly the way they did before.

Extra friend points to them!

Yes exactly....it does sort the flaky people out from the nice ones, I only have so much energy for social stuff anyways, so I prefer to spend it on the nice people.
I tell them what I am and watch closely to see who....is really fair and nice....mental notes are made.

 

[Mr Allen]

Silly little labels...who really gives a hoot?

Idiots who think all autistic people are retarded,

I've been called that word and worse, by members of various forums.

 

[Mary Anne]

The way I understand it, the majority of autistic people do not like "person first" language, so you're not the only one. Unfortunately, NT's are the one's who made it the more politically correct thing believing it's more "respectable" despite the criticisms against it.

I work in the social services/ mental health field, in the USA, and we are made to absolutely use “person first” language. Or be corrected by our supports in management. I am continually confused by this topic and the diversity of differences of opinion.

 

[the_tortoise]

I don't think it's all that simple....

You can say a person is "diabetic".....
Or that they are "asthmatic"....
Or that they are "epileptic".....

You can also say a person "has" things that do not make them unwell/interfere in detrimentals ways with their well-being....like a short stature, or a certain color eyes, or a lot of patience, or a good sense of humor.

I know that context changes things, and in the context of talking about neurological conditions I do see the argument as valid....just maybe oversimplified -- because meanings aren't fixed and they reflect other things...... it's not just the words that shape the meaning, people change meanings (literal and connotative) of words and phrases according to popular notions about/attitudes towards things all the time....it's all very complicated.

Personally, I don't care what words people use, I care what attitude they seem to have about autism and autistic people, and whether or not they say "autistic" versus "has autism" doesn't necessarily tell me anything about that. I use them interchangeably.

 

[Mary Anne]

“Person first language” would describe the following: a person who has epilepsy; a person who also has asthma; or a person who lives with diabetes. Because, they are far MORE complex as human beings than that one word attachment that stereotypes them/ judges them/ labels them. Not all people who have autism want to be labeled or simply defined as “an autistic.” We are all more than single labels, no matter what we want to be called or how we want to be called. I am many things.

 

[Finder]

I have used both person-first and identity-first language when referring to myself. It really is a contextual thing and both have their place--kind of like active and passive voice. I am not really sure NTs can distinguish the difference either. I think the perception of autism is going to drive the listeners conclusions more than the language.

 

[Stella Nordica]

So far, as an undiagnosed one, I prefer to say that I think that I am on the spectrum. It's neutral, it's open (because I haven't got a clear discription). I also sometime use "I am" but also "I have". Not sure, though, how my feelings will change in the coming months and years.

However, both "I have" and "I am" can get reactions like, "is there a cure" or "I knew something was wrong with you". Got both from my mother when I first talked to her about my suspicions. It hurt. But then she's 70+, not well educated, and happy with the "small live" she's always been lived.

This ddiscussion is very intersting and has given me food for thought, so many thanks to each and every input!