Being dragged into conversations you don't want any part in

[Horsegirl]

The other day in gym class, we were playing sharks and barracudas (I LOVE playing sharks and barracudas!) And I got out. So I went to go sit on the bench where you have to sit if you get out. The only free spot was next to a girl who has been really mean to my best friend in the past, and she still isn't the nicest to her. Or me, or anyone. Anyhow, that was the only spot, so I sat down. As soon as I did she turned around and said,
"You don't like me."
How on earth does one reply to that? Yes, its true I don't like her. But you aren't supposed to say that, are you?
And then she says,
"Me and my friend are doing this challenge: whoever loses their virginity first wins!"
What the heck? I didn't need to know that! Gross! Why do I need to know this?
It's kinda stupid. And I don't know how I supposed to politely excuse myself from such conversations

 

[Isadoorian]

I'd personally just ignore it; she's only doing it for attention and a reaction; simple thing is to not give into her actions

 

[Progster]

Treat like with like. She's being blunt and indescreet with you, so be blunt back. Tell her that you don't want to know, not interested, too much information or something like that.

 

[Autistamatic]

She's testing you to see how you'll react. Like with like as suggested above would be my thoughts. If you're any good at it, a sarcastic or humorous reply might ease or close the conversation for you.

 

[Graphin]

Inserts Idiocracy intro
I have no idea about those situations

 

[Progster]

sarcastic or humorous reply might ease or close the conversation for you.

A good sarcastic retort would be: fascinating! I always wanted to know that! I want to know all the details!

 

[Autistamatic]

A good sarcastic retort would be: fascinating! I always wanted to know that! I want to know all the details!

Exactly...
"So how exactly are you planning on losing your virginity? Have you got a particular boy in mind or will any one with the right equipment do? Is it going to be in a back alley behind the bins or in your house when your mum's out? How are you planning to prove to your friend that you got there first - is she going to do some sort of gynaecological examination or will she just take your word for it?"

I think that just might make her back off. Obviously that situation is gone now, but the principle still applies. Showing interest in something that was intended to shock and asking a few pertinent questions that might make them even more uncomfortable answering than they intended to make you shifts the control of the conversation.

 

[“Normal?”nick]

i woulda just said “well why would I like you, you’re always an asshole”. As for the virginity thing, I probably would have said “well good luck with that, there’s a cute dog over there, if you cover your face maybe he’ll help you beat everyone else....you like German shepherds?” But that’s assuming I’m speaking to someone I view as a “bad person” or someone I’ve witnessed treat others badly.

 

[WildCat]

Whoever loses their virginity first in that situation is going to suffer a huge loss. Both of them must be thin on brains to share.

I'd have ignored it, retorted, or flat out said, "you're right, now shut up".

 

[Progster]

Yes, and: "Does the winner get a prize?" Do they get to wear a special "I lost my virginity" badge?

 

[Graphin]

I and I assume most here would not be able to think up the things that have been suggested here. On spot this is different. Making such a passive-agressive comeback later about a minor "conversation" is super awkward, useless

 

[Autistamatic]

I and I assume most here would not be able to think up the things that have been suggested here. On spot this is different. Making such a passive-agressive comeback later about a minor "conversation" is super awkward, useless

The OP asked how she could have dealt with the conversation at the time. I don't for one minute think anyone is suggesting that she should approach the girl and say anything now - the moment has passed.
Some people are capable of such retorts in real time, some are not - AS or NT both, but it is a valid way of coping with what in effect is a real life troll trying to make someone else feel uncomfortable.

 

[WereBear]

If blunt honesty is called for, go ahead! I love it when nasty people ask for it

 

[“Normal?”nick]

I and I assume most here would not be able to think up the things that have been suggested here. On spot this is different. Making such a passive-agressive comeback later about a minor "conversation" is super awkward, useless

This is very true. However I believe many of us can learn to be quick with come backs. I did, but working in a shop around a bunch of “normal” people for 9 years has helped. I always watch/listen to everybody during those types of conversation and watching others responses while they all clown around and give eachother a hard time has helped me dramatically in that department. Over the years I have developed the ability to have quick comebacks, though struggling to understand people’s thoughts/feelings causes me to occasionally go too far.

I think just like anything else, we can learn sarcasm and stuff like that if we observe others enough and try. For me it’s been a big part of functioning around others because I now am a ken to make them laugh.

 

[DCA]

Yes, and: "Does the winner get a prize?" Do they get to wear a special "I lost my virginity" badge?

Yes, its called a baby...

Personally I would have said "that's nice..." & then proceeded to completely ignore her. I'm good at ignoring people.

 

[Autistamatic]

 

[SunnyDay16]

I would answer her honestly if I were you. If she's nasty to your friend for no real reason, then you have every right not to like her. You could've said, "No, I don't like you. You're not nice to my friend and I don't like people who do that." Regarding the virginity thing, she was obviously doing that to get your attention somehow, either to try to win you over or shock/gross you out.

 

[Pats]

I tend to be honest when people ask me directly. I had a boss call me into her office and the first thing she asked was did I not like her. I said no and when she asked why I told her. She kept changing things that worked for the staff. Later I was asked what I had said to make her cry and I was stunned, thinking 'she asked', she wanted to know, what was the problem?
But I've had many people try to shock me with comments and it never worked, always just said 'okay' and moved on.

 

[OkRad]

You are a young person, but being Aspie, probably smart beyond your years. Have you considered volunteering at places like an Senior Citizen home or places where older people are? They have an amazing perspective on life, being here for so long. They are anything but boring and seeing how immature the people around you are, it may balance some of that out? Just a thought. Don't be like them

 

[Gritches]

Wow, she sounds like a good candidate for Histrionic Personality Disorder. IIRC, one thing Histrionics like to do is grab attention by saying something shocking. She was probably burning a hole in that bench if she was sitting there by herself; Histrionics need attention more than they need food or water.

As for what I'd have said to "you don't like me", I probably would've just said "yuuuuuuuuuuuup." But if I had 10 minutes to think of my response, here's a few:

1. "Neither does anybody"
2. "Neither does your mother"
3. "And nobody ever will"
4. "And George Bush doesn't like black people. Your turn."

Same deal with the virginity contest:

1. "Is the prize a golden bust of a premature baby?"
2. "I think a better contest would be to see who can shut up the hardest."
3. "You should probably start smoking first. There's a proper order for these things."
4. "You realize how easy that is, right?"