Being taken Advantage of, as Aspie/Autie Women

[Pariah Dog]

This reminded me of something really dark I just remembered.

In about 6th grade I remember a friend of mine found a porno tape his older (16 year old I think) brother had. My friend was a latch key kid and with no parents home we of course put the video in the vcr out of curiosity.

This video happened to feature a very graphic and brutal rape scene. I'm pretty sure it was just acting (but I guess who's to say in that industry), but I remember being traumatized by it. It was the most horrific thing I had ever seen. I remember the man beating the woman across the face with a belt during the process. We watched in complete silence, I'm assuming my friend was similarly affected. Why didn't we turn it off? I don't know, it's probably like a game of chicken maybe? Maybe just too stunned to do anything. I guess it went off at some point, I don't remember when. Neither of us ever spoke of it again. I don't think we said much of anything at all afterwards. Eventually his mom came home and we had to act normal.

I have to wonder why his brother had this tape in the first place?...

 

[Ragnahawk]

I second this notion.


I must say I am very sorry to hear about those of you who have been attacked. I could personally not imagine doing that to a woman. Even if I tried to think of what that would be like my guts would literally become sick. I don't have daughter (or a son) of my own, but I have friends that do. If I knew someone had attacked one of them I'm pretty sure I WOULD find some way or another to ummm... lets say "make things right" to avoid saying anything illegal, and do so in such a way that the offender would not be able to do wrong again.

The last time I went on a date with a lady I made sure to pick her up outside her place and walk her to where we were going, rather than she walk alone there and meet me as she originally intended. She said her neighborhood is safe. And maybe it is relatively so. However a lot of homeless people roam through the area. Most of them are probably harmless, until one of them isn't. I don't see her anymore, and I really do hope she stays safe and doesn't have to learn anything the hard way. A pretty lady walking alone in the dark. I feel over enough times its not if but when that is going to go badly.

One thing I don't like to hear that comes from the feminist community it seems is that we need to send the message to men not to rape. That the message should be "Don't rape" not "Don't get raped." This is an asinine notion. If you grew up in a western country, and I would assume advanced eastern ones as well, then you were already taught this message. People are also told not to lie, cheat, steal, murder and so forth, but they do those things anyway. What it comes down to are that you are primarily responsible for your own safety. I am a male in fairly good physical condition that a lot of other males wouldn't be very inclined to mess with unless they were significantly larger (I'm only 5'10") and a complete asshole. If I were to go into a really bad neighborhood and I got stabbed or shot or something to that effect, the first thing people would be asking is why was I there? And they would be right to ask it, why would I have put myself in a high risk situation?

In the case of ladies that means also avoiding high risk behavior. Like getting drunk and going in a strangers car. Getting into alone situations with a new stranger. I'm going to be as politically correct as possible about this one but, if dating a man who comes from a culture (I specifically said "culture") where dehumanizing and objectifying women is just the routine and even glorified, there is a high probability of attack in that situation as well. I suppose those situations all miss the point in a way since this thread is related to autistic women not being able to read the signs and being naive. Knowing this I would suppose that young girls known to be one the spectrum should maybe get an extra thorough level of education on this matter.

If an incident unfortunately happens you can report it to the police but generally nothing will result of it. At best it will exist in a record somewhere that hopefully doesn't get destroyed. If you look in Western Europe especially, rape culture is becoming increasingly the norm and police, government, and media all cover it up to push a politically correct agenda. What are feminist saying about that? Absolutely nothing.

Maybe what's needed is a new feminism that starts fresh. The current variety has gone so far from it's roots its become unrecognizable (and really obnoxious). A feminist movement that puts the rights, education, and well being of women first and fore most and doesn't just completely lay down and hide when their beliefs might conflict with some other beliefs they dare not oppose. That is probably what the origins of feminism were all about actually.

Like a feminist movement concentrated on being strong women. Like women carrying around knives and generally appearing as terrifying to attack. (Mace seems to portray weakness) I think that would repel the thoughts of objectifying females in western culture. In most cases if you were under attack, you can claim self defense. So.

 

[Voxsh]

WellI am not a lass so I can't talk from a woman's perspective, but if it helps I was abused by a man when I was 16, I am heterosexual. As stupid as this sounds I didn't understand what was going on, I mean I knew happening, I just didn't understand I was being abused. I have also been targeted by older women when I was younger and bullied into things I didn't really want to do. I just didn't know what to do.

 

[Ocarina]

The struggle I have had is being too open and friendly to members of the opposite sex which is taken as a come on - have had a couple of apparently out of the blue and deeply embarassing marriage proposals from men I had no romantic interest in whatsover. It's become something of a joke amongst friends that men just all seem to go for me - and I don't notice until it's too late. Fortunately there's never been anything really threatening about these advances - just painful trying to extricate myself and have also had cross partners/ wives.

 

[Voxsh]

In can relate to that, I am way to open with everyone. It's just that it almost feels like lying not too and I don't really care what people know about me.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I'm sorry to hear what many of you have gone through. I think this is fairly common. I was coerced into sex when I was 9 with a 13 year old boy (although I doubt he was all that experienced either). Then at 15 I was violently raped at knife point one night by two guys, which possibly left me unable to have kids (not sure if it was actually caused by that or the doctors just happened to discover I had problems due to the medical checks that were done afterwards). I also had a much older instructor allow me to stay in his apartment for free in return for sex when I was in my teens, although he was never aggressive and at the time I was just happy to have a father figure around so I don't count it as rape even though I was underage. In my early 20s I also traded sex for friendship with most of the guys I knew, as I didn't really get on with women and wanted people to hang out with that actually shared my interests. I was pretty naive looking back. Although it has toughened me up a lot as an adult.

These days I can be outwardly bubbly and chatty, but I am very wary around most people and avoid situations like that. I have a huge, very sociable family around, so I'm rarely alone if I don't want to be. But it would be nice to have friends without worrying about ulterior motives. But life is complicated like that. I hear a lot of women (and men) on the spectrum recall similar problems when they were growing up. It seems to be a common theme unfortunately.

 

[Voxsh]

Really sorry to hear what you went through, I got away light.

 

[Sid Delicious]

It was a long time ago now, so doesn't really bother me. I've also met people (women and men) who went through far worse, so I feel pretty lucky. It bothers me a bit that you don't really hear about male rape and abuse so much. Not that highlighting female abuse is a bad thing. But I'd like to see more public discussion on both sides, as it seems to get overlooked (or, even worse, assumed to not happen).

 

[Adora]

Sadly I have experienced what is like to be sexually taken advantage of,I still struggle with talking about it due to it upsetting me but also blaming myself for my naivety aswell,looking back there were times where I was completely clueless to some men who may have liked me like there was guy I knew for about two years and I didn’t think he liked me up until he straight out said he did,but also I have guys take advantage of the fact that I was pretty trusting and unaware of their true intentions,there is one incident in my early twenties where that trusting nature really worked against me and it was my older neighbor who decided to take advantage of me while I was having an anxiety attack and saw me as Fair game,these days I still feel bad about how the opposite sex treated me but also angry at myself for being so gullible and trusting,sometimes I wish I did know that I was on the spectrum earlier then maybe I could of learn to be able to deal with guys better.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I wish I did know that I was on the spectrum earlier then maybe I could of learn to be able to deal with guys better

From my side,as a man. I couldn’t understand why men would hassle woman all the time... ie why the woman seemed to like it.
For me it all seemed like mistreatment.
But some of it was ‘normal’ interaction.
If any of it could be said to be normal ...