Being Told You Are Too Critical

[Fino]

Easy to say, hard to do.

Besides: That isnt actually useful to the artist, and most artists seem to realize this eventually.

After all, how can you find areas where you need to improve if the people who look at your art wont tell you what they are? One of the most irritating parts of creating something is that you, the creator, are TOO CLOSE to it. You cannot spot certain issues because of that. Critique is very important in the process of improving one's skill. With some things, a LACK of critique can outright harm the final product. In my wacky game-development exploits, the final product came out as good as it did BECAUSE of people pointing out flaws without hesitation during testing. It would have been nowhere near as good if they kept telling me and the rest of the team that it was all good simply because that's more "supportive".

Frankly, I always consider it outright disrespectful to lie to someone by saying their work is somehow perfect with no flaws. That doesnt ACTUALLY support them whatsoever, because it cant help them with their REAL goal: getting better at what they do, so they can make true masterpieces eventually. It could instead outright slow them down!

If I see a problem... you bet I'm going to point it out... and if the person in question cant handle that? Well then, we've found a whole other type of flaw that MUST be ironed out if they want to reach a truly high skill level.

Of course, this is assuming that I understand the subject matter enough to do so. You'd never see me pointing out the flaws in, say, an ice skating routine, as I have no bloody clue what's going on there. Well, I guess if the skater outright ran into a wall, I could point that out.


And yes, I did in fact spot the bit in @Lili G 's original post where the friend was showing art that they found, not that they made... but I'm just pointing this out in a general way, as it is quite important if you're dealing with the person who actually made the thing in question.


Just my thoughts on it as someone who does this pretty much constantly. I tend to be a lot more harsh and spiky about it though. I call myself "Misery" for a reason.

It depends on intention. If, for example, you were to show your art to your parents, you are likely not seeking an art critique. You're seeking appreciation. No one would ever use the word "perfection," that's not relevant. It's a loved one celebrating your work with them.

If a person goes to another artist seeking critique, that's when comments are appropriate. I don't remember exactly what has been said in this thread, but is the OP an art critic or at least an artist? What credibility do these criticisms have? If they're pointing out a crooked line, that's just rude. Crooked lines are obvious. That's not helpful.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I try to get better at giving support as @Fino said. However its against every cell of me and my body language and tones shows everyone that I dont believe what I say.

I love being given constructive feedback, and new info that challenges my view and let me go to the next level. And its very difficult for me to accept that almost everyone else just want to be loved and accepted and they percieve feedback as criticism and feel hurt.

I am having some problems with my daugther on this. She shows me her nice drawings and my mind cant stop to think "If she loves drawing I should search some drawing course for her". But thats not what a NT child needs. Their brains are wired to do and try many things without going deeper in any of them, unless they ask for it.

Im making slow progress on that field. Very slow indeed. I guess thats why I write so long post even on topics I have not much to say...

Like this one...

 

[Aspychata]

I try to get better at giving support as @Fino said. However its against every cell of me and my body language and tones shows everyone that I dont believe what I say.

I love being given constructive feedback, and new info that challenges my view and let me go to the next level. And its very difficult for me to accept that almost everyone else just want to be loved and accepted and they percieve feedback as criticism and feel hurt.

I am having some problems with my daugther on this. She shows me her nice drawings and my mind cant stop to think "If she loves drawing I should search some drawing course for her". But thats not what a NT child needs. Their brains are wired to do and try many things without going deeper in any of them, unless they ask for it.

Im making slow progress on that field. Very slow indeed. I guess thats why I write so long post even on topics I have not much to say...

Like this one...

Think for young people, self-discovery is important, be they ND or NT. If we hoover as parents , they don't find out about things themselves. My daughter had the tools, l let her discover her passions. We provided piano, lessons, violin, guitar, sewing machine, art supplies for props for amine costumes. She still is passionate about the arts. I always had a roll of paper for impromptu art work.

Back to the post, l dislike criticism when it's done to intentionally hurt someone. This has happened to me. I am still learning to deal with it.

 

[Owliet]

Back to the post, l dislike criticism when it's done to intentional hurt someone. This has happened to me. I am still learning to deal with it.

I used to write and one of my early writing works, received such mean feedback that it made me feel anxious about trying again, fortunately I didn’t stop writing, and it’s easy to have this sense of anonymity online because that allows people to say such things. I was also 13 so I was never going to be a writing pro so it was pretty harsh criticism to give to a child. Looking back before I deleted that account, they weren’t wrong. It was ....BAD. But it’s better to give feedback that’s helpful and that person failed to do that. I give feedback a lot and I’ve learnt that the best way to do it is try to sandwich the criticism into something helpful. I can’t say “you’re awful and will never improve because you’re lazy.” Even if It’s actually true... But I can reword it to say that “ I think If you did this......you could increase your marks but I liked how you did this.....”. I’m really improving my diplomatic skills.

 

[Storm Hess]

Stop being critical and be entirely supportive instead.

Easier said than done, for me.

 

[Misery]

If they're pointing out a crooked line, that's just rude. Crooked lines are obvious. That's not helpful.

Actually, that's not necessarily true... in fact, OFTEN not true. Again, that's part of what "too close to it" means. You've been sitting there with the accursed thing for so long that certain aspects, obvious to EVERYONE ELSE, wont occur to you whatsoever. Even if you're looking right at them.

Heck, if I show someone something I made, one very common thing is for them to say "wait, what's with this part here?" and then I look at it, stare for a moment, and then "OH FREAKING HECK HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT"

For any gamers out there, who have sometimes wondered how in the numerous hells a particularly obvious glitch could POSSIBLY be in there (particularly when it's an indie game, as in, no corporate overlords getting in the way), THAT is the reason. Heck, I've been there myself. In the game I helped make, we made it all the way to release, and about two days afterwards, I discover that a particular boss fight (which was my territory) not only wasnt working correctly, but was standing absolutely still and doing *nothing*. Nothing at all. How? HOW did I miss that? I tell ya how: Because somehow, nobody told me about it. What do they call it? Missing the forest for the trees? That doesnt sound 100% right but I'm too lazy to look that up.

Anyway, logically it SHOULD be obvious. But that aint how the creative process works. Much to my non-stop annoyance.

If, for example, you were to show your art to your parents, you are likely not seeking an art critique. You're seeking appreciation.

Eh. Depends on the person. I mean, some kid doodling randomly? Sure. But someone ACTUALLY looking to improve their craft, and seeking opinions from trusted people around them? Ye gods, no.

This is, in fact, why I'll happily show stuff I've created on the internet, even to total strangers, but will barely even mention it to immediate family (provided I let them see any of it, and indeed they've seen barely any of it): Because my family are EXACTLY the sorts to just say "oh it's great" even when it's a bunch of hideous scribbles.

That doesnt create good feelings: It creates the feeling of someone treating you as a child. Like, oh, look, [horrid scribbled mess] is SO GOOD let's just MAGNET IT TO THE FRIDGE, and then a pat on the head, and then off goes little Timmy, running back to the crayon box after getting praise from mommy.

In my case, someone doing that is one of the fastest ways to get me to snap at them.