Body Gestures

[I love roses]

Actually, in business, it is well known that when doing public speaking, one should use hands and arms while talking. Donna is doing what is considered good lecturing, or public speaking practice.

It is acceptable on stage. I wonder if she does it in general conversation at a party. My gestures are more like previous poster, Morrison, where he was describing something in his mind and pointed behind the person he was talking to. The person spoken too actually turned around to see what object he wasn’t pointing at. But of course it’s invisible because it was in Morrisons mind. I also have had people try to follow my invisible objects. Most people use mere words but Morrison and I use over exaggerated expressive movement to convey a same idea. For instance I was describing someone who a man at a checkout counter was mad at for getting a disability check. The check recipient raised his shirt to show his scars for spine surgery and said, you can have my check but take the scars and pain with you. I started a book about my disability and when I was describing this to a man. In conversation, I turned my back to him and raised my shirt as if I was reliving in real life the story I was telling. I had had four glasses of wine just to mingle and wondered all night if that could be taken wrongly as sexual since I am female and the person I spoke to was male. However I felt well received by the male, but I could feel outside eyes from the crowd, perhaps imaginary eyes that I was crossing boundaries.

My intent of the drama played out to the man I was speaking to was to show how dramatic a mere statement of light and complete thoughtless judgement in a casual checkout line was devastating and bore consequences to the disabled man with the scars.

 

[BraidedPony]

I thought Donna’s movements were completely normal. I’ve always talked that way, especially if it’s something important I’m trying to convey.
I used to be kidded about it when I was younger but not insulted so never even thought to change. Didn’t occur to me NTs wouldn't understand that movements enhance communication, in my opinion.
Idid notice that my therapist doesnt move when he talks and always thought that it was because he is a large male working with abused females (males too of course can be victims of abuse) and was being extra careful not to frighten me. Like a sudden movement would look like a hit or slap. Hmmmm... maybe it is just normal to not move?

 

[I love roses]

I was watching people socializing after church over coffee. None of them were moving. So I began to make a point to pay attention and start observing people at gatherings. They generally stand a certain space apart as well. Nearly all of their communication is with voice and very subtle and sometimes barely seen facial expressions, unless they are laughing or being silly. If they start to discuss personal things or talk about someone they will form a tight circle where no one can walk up and enter.

 

[Tom]

Body gestures can be a cultural thing as well as anything else. There is nothing really wrong with it.

 

[I love roses]

Body gestures can be a cultural thing as well as anything else. There is nothing really wrong with it.

I guess you’re really right Tom. I notice some cultures get loud and their culture accepts it. So I guess it could be the same thing. I’m stuck in an area of very reserved people. So reserved that they have houses out of town that no one lives in just for their parties. I love the quietness of rural life but I also enjoyed disappearing in the the crowd of the masses in a large city. People didn’t care.

 

[LobsterCactus]

Thanks for speaking about this
It can make me feel over exposed or a little foolish. I thought other people actively didn’t do it, in self composure, as a guarding mechanism. But if I try to compose myself, not acting out what i see, its hard to communicate at all. I don’t think it is foolish.. just because words aren’t your primary form of language doesn’t make you dim. I find thinking in images, sensations, spacial linking and mapping superior in its plasticity. Though words in themselves are very complex and interesting they can be limiting. A sensation or image can for me express more than a thousand words would be capable of, a ‘train of thought’ can diverge into parallel compounds which interact with each other unconstained by linear thinking. Unfortunately this doesn’t translate very well into social chat .
The other day someone asked me if I knew what the elephant in the room meant, I gestured to the large purple elephant on the other side of the room and said ‘sure, it means something that isn’t talked about’ so ah, thanks for talking...
I love when people are expressive in their body movements, it means their in it, it’s easier for me to join them that way.
I don’t know what environment your living in but I hope you don’t change yourself, it will take from you. I think it’s pretty cool to be honest. But then I have alienated myself from most, but..people who know me love me.

 

[I love roses]

Lobster Cactus, I prefer the more animated people.
You can see their emotions. You don’t have to guess what they are feeling. You don’t walk away wondering if you freaked them out or anything. The expressive ones will let you know. I feel like the non expressive all went to finishing school like Jackie Kennedy. Now wear the suit, the pill box hat, don’t smile too big, hands in the lap between bites at the table, don’t cross legs, knees together and ankles together, angle legs when sitting. I didn’t mind that in my career and early years as much. I bet a lot is my present environment. I do ok from Irish Communities, but i’m in an American 6th generational British settlement. The “proper formality is driving me nuts”. My family were more frontiersmen. Watch the movie “The Help”. it is a lot like that.

 

[I love roses]

I find thinking in images, sensations, spacial linking and mapping superior in its plasticity.

What is mapping?

 

[I love roses]

Just so y’all know, one lady I consider friend is almost 90. All her generation of family and friends are dead except three classmates from her high school, it’s a small town a town over from mine. I asked, well since there are only three of y’all left, so y’all call on the phone? She said, no, They didn’t except me in high school and they still don’t.

 

[I love roses]

I find thinking in images, sensations, spacial linking and mapping superior in its plasticity. Though words in themselves are very complex and interesting they can be limiting. A sensation or image can for me express more than a thousand words would be capable of, a ‘train of thought’ can diverge into parallel compounds which interact with each other unconstained by linear thinking. Unfortunately this doesn’t translate very well into social chat

But I think it translates with us Aspies or other people that communicate that way. I agree with you about the sensations and images are a thousand words.

 

[I love roses]

It can make me feel over exposed or a little foolish.

Yep, that’s the feeling!

 

[BraidedPony]

Does anyone else clap their hands when they are happy or someone says something that is so perfectly right?
Im told I’m being childish and too silly, but how can you meet a new puppy and not clap your hands? How can you just sit there when the good guy beats the bad guy in a movie ,or Steph Curry makes a perfect rainbow into the basket half way down the court???? Clap worthy events in my opinion!

 

[I love roses]

No clapping. No, just holler.

 

[NinaB]

And when making a presentation teachers/professors want you to look at the audience but how am i gonna actually MAKE the presentation if i cannot see what i am going to speak because i'm too busy seeing people's faces?!

 

[BraidedPony]

NinaB, you can look towards the audience but focus your eyes on the back wall.