Can I have some feedback on this please

[AngelaS267]

I was replying to the OP.

Oh, my bad.

 

[Shamar]

@Shamar So you are saying intelligence follows the bell curve but stupidity is exponential? I can't argue with that logic.

Pretty much. Another way of saying it is that, as the number of individuals increase, aggregate intelligence increases linearly, while stupidity increases exponentially. From my observations, in large groups stupidity always overwhelms intelligence.

 

[Aspychata]

I experienced a customer rip into a young assistant so horribly that i turned to her and said if she had a problem with company policy to please take it to a manager and not the assistant who was only doing their job, she told me to' mind my own buisness!!' often customers want to vent and project rubbish on retail staff as they feel they can, in one company i worked a customer was so rude to me and then complained about my attitude to a manager who made me apology to the customer, i was very annoyed but needed the job so did as i was told.

I saw a client at a nursing home tear into our young waitress who l had to go console because she was in tears. Omg. And some of us older ones recognized that the client was going to be mean. Just had that air about him. Sure enough, and his daughter was just as nasty. I had to work really hard at taking care of their party.

 

[Rotundi]

I am on my way to meet friends at the beach. I go into a local supermarket (they are not one of the major stores) to buy some food and drink.
Noticing a Costa coffee dispenser, I chose a white Americano. Once it had completed, I found there were no stirrers.

There was a queue of customers and three cashiers serving.
"Excuse me, there are no stirrers, how can I stir my coffee?"

The young girl cashier nearest said that under directions from Costa, they were not allowed to hand stirrers out anymore.
That told me that they probably had them and could have provided me one but that is not to say I did not understand the rule.

What I did say was this.
"But that's ridiculous. If you have a device that is only offering 80% of the deal, why don't you close it down?"

I was not saying this loud. I don't think I was rude. I just expressed my feeling.
Overhearing that, a staff member at the other end interjected and said.
" Why are you having a go at our staff! "

To which the girl cashier added.
" Just pay up and leave"

Later in the day at the village post office where they know me, one said "She said WHAT?" They also think that I should report it to a support worker and make a formal complaint, because of what followed.

I explained to this man that I had autism and that I found this situation challenging and stressful owing to his aggressive tone. On that information...
"Where's your carer?" he snapped.

Anyone who knows the current economics of adult social care would understand that cutbacks have left us really short of hours. I used to have two hours a day seven days a week. Also people like this may not know that we have to pay independently from our benefits

In any case did he really imagine, unless the condition was severe, that everyone , say, with Aspergers have full time carers

He then went on to declare that he used to work with autistic children and so knew about these things.

Later on I thought that even if that was true, it might explain why he now worked in a lo-fi supermarket.

What could they have done better?
They might have been pleasant and welcoming instead of arrogant and aggressive.
They might have offered me anything, like a pencil or pen, just to stir the sugar through.

I'd like feedback on whether others feel I have been badly treated because I'm not sure whether to complain to the store or not.

It's a situation that could happen to anyone, of course, but here the autism aspect is relevant because the staff showed total indifference and overall were downright rude. I hope they don't treat all their customers as dismissively.

In these types of situations both parties will always think they are right, so if I were you I wouldn't be worried about what they think. It's always best to learn from experiences like these, just remember that they don't provide stirrers from now on. But they shouldn't have ganged up on you like that, only one worker needed to talk to you. The others didn't need to jump in.

 

[Pillar]

I don't think it has to do with your autism/asperger. I think it has to do with them being troubled in general and hence can vent some frustration on those who they perceive as people who cannot attack back. I recommend you no longer go there as an act of justice, if that is what you wish to do
Take care!!

 

[Professori]

I am on my way to meet friends at the beach. I go into a local supermarket (they are not one of the major stores) to buy some food and drink.
Noticing a Costa coffee dispenser, I chose a white Americano. Once it had completed, I found there were no stirrers.

There was a queue of customers and three cashiers serving.
"Excuse me, there are no stirrers, how can I stir my coffee?"

The young girl cashier nearest said that under directions from Costa, they were not allowed to hand stirrers out anymore.
That told me that they probably had them and could have provided me one but that is not to say I did not understand the rule.

What I did say was this.
"But that's ridiculous. If you have a device that is only offering 80% of the deal, why don't you close it down?"

I was not saying this loud. I don't think I was rude. I just expressed my feeling.
Overhearing that, a staff member at the other end interjected and said.
" Why are you having a go at our staff! "

To which the girl cashier added.
" Just pay up and leave"

Later in the day at the village post office where they know me, one said "She said WHAT?" They also think that I should report it to a support worker and make a formal complaint, because of what followed.

I explained to this man that I had autism and that I found this situation challenging and stressful owing to his aggressive tone. On that information...
"Where's your carer?" he snapped.

Anyone who knows the current economics of adult social care would understand that cutbacks have left us really short of hours. I used to have two hours a day seven days a week. Also people like this may not know that we have to pay independently from our benefits

In any case did he really imagine, unless the condition was severe, that everyone , say, with Aspergers have full time carers

He then went on to declare that he used to work with autistic children and so knew about these things.

Later on I thought that even if that was true, it might explain why he now worked in a lo-fi supermarket.

What could they have done better?
They might have been pleasant and welcoming instead of arrogant and aggressive.
They might have offered me anything, like a pencil or pen, just to stir the sugar through.

I'd like feedback on whether others feel I have been badly treated because I'm not sure whether to complain to the store or not.

It's a situation that could happen to anyone, of course, but here the autism aspect is relevant because the staff showed total indifference and overall were downright rude. I hope they don't treat all their customers as dismissively.

Fact: declare that you are autistic and the majority of people immediately treat you as though you have low IQ. If you had a career with you, would she have been able to stir your coffee? No, of course not, and so what does that have to do with the situation? Nothing.
They did treat you badly, and you were within your rights to quietly ask to speak to a supervisor/manager. Yes, you should report the incident because you are a customer and deserve to be treated politely.
Am I mistaken, or are people in general a great deal more arrogant/rude/aggressive today than 10 years ago? It costs nothing to be polite.

 

[Jumpback]

Fact: declare that you are autistic and the majority of people immediately treat you as though you have low IQ. If you had a career with you, would she have been able to stir your coffee? No, of course not, and so what does that have to do with the situation? Nothing.
They did treat you badly, and you were within your rights to quietly ask to speak to a supervisor/manager. Yes, you should report the incident because you are a customer and deserve to be treated politely.
Am I mistaken, or are people in general a great deal more arrogant/rude/aggressive today than 10 years ago? It costs nothing to be polite.

My experience with chain store managers is that they aren't much more than glorified minimum wage employees. They don't have that much power either. Like someone at corporate decides things and they have to implement them. A direct manager over the employees he encountered would have had no power to turn off coffee machine either. Maybe they even wouldn't have been allowed to put a sign on it that stirrers are not available, because hand written signs are seen as ugly. If he complained to a manager, probably nothing would have changed with how stirrers are handed out or whether machine was turned on or off, just manager would have apologized to him and written up or fired minimum wage employees, because that's all the manager could do

It's too bad in some ways that gone are the days of mom and pop stores where person you were talking to had any power or personal investment in what was going on.

 

[Tesseract]

He then went on to declare that he used to work with autistic children and so knew about these things.

Right, of course, because as we all know children with autism and adults with autism are exactly the same, and should therefore be treated with equal amounts of disrespect and condescension.
I must be the only person on the planet who has never had to deal with bad customer service in any of the shops I have ever walked into. Over the phone, sure, but never in person. As for your particular experience, well, if I were you I just would never go back there again. Find an alternative, because it really is ridiculous to not provide an essential item for a product that is being sold or a service being provided. As for the, "Where is your carer?" comment, well... I would have "accidentally" spilled the coffee on his head, and said something like, "Oh damn, gee I'm sorry, but having autism makes me do things like this to people who are complete jerks. You should know about that, having 'worked with children'".

 

[Tesseract]

Fact: declare that you are autistic and the majority of people immediately treat you as though you have low IQ.

Exactly, and this is one of the reasons why I tell people I do not have autism, but Asperger's Syndrome. The very word 'autism' has overwhelmingly negative connotations, and people automatically assume we are mentally challenged, when nothing could be further from the truth.

If you had a carer with you, would she have been able to stir your coffee? No, of course not, and so what does that have to do with the situation? Nothing.

I'm guessing the idiot who asked about where his carer was, was hoping for the issue to simply go away because he didn't want to deal with it. He was probably also the type of person who naively believes that those who have conditions like autism are all like the children he allegedly worked with; i.e. not willing to stand up for their rights, or stand up to bullies.

They did treat you badly, and you were within your rights to quietly ask to speak to a supervisor/manager. Yes, you should report the incident because you are a customer and deserve to be treated politely.

It's strange (or maybe it isn't), but I've never been treated poorly by customer service workers. Just the opposite, in fact. They're always very friendly. Maybe it's cultural, maybe where I live people are just not as easily stressed out as they are in whatever country you live in.

Am I mistaken, or are people in general a great deal more arrogant/rude/aggressive today than 10 years ago? It costs nothing to be polite.

They are on the internet, that's for sure. The anonymity and sense of invulnerability are probably the two main reasons why so many today believe they can get away with so much online.

 

[Tesseract]

Exactly this. I simply pointed out that the operation ought not to have been open.

By saying that however it was clearly a massive overreaction on my part.

I've come to learn (the hard way) that the vast majority of people simply do not like being told about how they managed to screw things up, or even that they were simply wrong about something. I don't know why this is the case, and as far as I myself am concerned, if I get something wrong I'm always happy that someone has pointed it out, because it means I stand corrected and will no longer believe in something that isn't true. They're doing me a favour when they do this, and so the appropriate response should be a BIG "Thank You", not sulking, losing one's temper, or being a douchebag.

 

[Hollow Horse]

I've come to learn (the hard way) that the vast majority of people simply do not like being told about how they managed to screw things up, or even that they were simply wrong about something. I don't know why this is the case, and as far as I myself am concerned, if I get something wrong I'm always happy that someone has pointed it out, because it means I stand corrected and will no longer believe in something that isn't true. They're doing me a favour when they do this, and so the appropriate response should be a BIG "Thank You", not sulking, losing one's temper, or being a douchebag.

I get that. I think you make a good point albeit a fairly obvious one. Who actually LIKES discovering they made a boo-boo.

In this case I don't believe that I did. And I felt justified in standing my ground.

I may have come across as belligerent to some and apologise if that has been the case.

Haven't been back here for what, a month since?

I just said in the Wrong Planet thread, autism is one of those sensitive subjects.

Those of us that live with it, you know, you just don't want to read about or write about it all the time.

So I'm not here a lot and to some that may be a blessing!