Can it really be aspergers?

[~Jen~]

Hi,
My name is Jen and I have some questions. First, a little background. My son is 8 years old and is a very bright kid. He has had some issues with calling out, not focusing and in certain areas of math. I was concerned that he could possibly have a mild case of ADD. I contacted the counselor about it and because of his advanced reading, science, and history I asked for a gifted screening as well. She told me she had seen my son in class and asked about testing for Aspergers as well. I have family with Aspergers and I just don't think that my son would meet the criteria. So my questions are:
1. Do all children with Aspergers have all of the symptoms?
2. Do they have the symptoms at all times or can it vary from situation to situation?
3. Do children with Aspergers always have trouble with making friends?

My son has friends but most of the time they are very similar in what they like to do like video games, dinosaur facts, scientific talk, football, or wrestling. When I ask any questions about his friends he doesn't know unless they have volunteered the Information. He doesn't ask them about their lives.

He makes eye contact sometimes and other times I request it and no matter how hard he tries his eyes can not stay focused on my eyes for more then a few seconds.

He can not ride a bike, tie his shoes, draw well, and his handwriting is very poor.

He can have conversations with other children but he tends to interrupt, change topics, or talk over others.

Most of the time he can control himself to an extent and sometimes without much warning from myself or his father. Other times we have to continually remind him.

He has had really bad temper tantrums but they are not very often.

If anyone can give any type of insight I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you in advanced.

 

[Tarragon]

Hi Jen,

in answer to your three questions, 1) Not all people with Aspergers show be same symptoms, it can vary 2) I've never really thought like that, but I suppose triggers are different in different circumstances. 3) I would imagine that some friendships are perfectly possible. I remember having friends at this age. Social problems began in earnest for me in my teenage years, as the demands of socialising increased (I think aspies tend to get left behind).

Im not an expert though, but I'm sure you will be able to talk to people here to get a bigger picture. From what you've described, it sounds aspie-like.

Did he pick up stuff quickly as a small kid? Was he ahead/behind the curve with reading/writing?


Hope this helps

Actually, in answer to the title of the thread, yes it could be Aspergers. I don't see why not. But, again I wouldn't want to come across as being an expert with the information you've given us. It does sound suspiciously familiar though...

 

[Kuribo]

Hi Jen, welcome to the forum.

To answer all three of your questions, here is a quote from Stephen Shore:

"If you've met one person with autism – you've met one person with autism."

Some people with Aspergers Syndrome and High Functioning Autism can navigate through life with relatively few problems, whereas others can find it extremely difficult to cope, so don't base your opinion on the little experience you have.

 

[Ereth]

1 & 2. There is no "all" when it comes to autism. The type, number, frequency, and severity of symptoms will invariably be different from case to case.

3. I wouldn't use the word "always," but people with ASD can have trouble socializing. When I was a kid, before I knew I was autistic, I made a few friends without trouble, but had difficulty in other situations.

Welcome, and best wishes to you and your son.

 

[Flinty]

He doesn't ask them about their lives.

He makes eye contact sometimes and other times I request it and no matter how hard he tries his eyes can not stay focused on my eyes for more then a few seconds.

He can not ride a bike, tie his shoes, draw well, and his handwriting is very poor.

He can have conversations with other children but he tends to interrupt, change topics, or talk over others.

Most of the time he can control himself to an extent and sometimes without much warning from myself or his father. Other times we have to continually remind him.

He has had really bad temper tantrums but they are not very often.

If anyone can give any type of insight I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you in advanced.

Well, comparing to me as a child, this hits seven of nine points. So, to answer your title question, Can it really be Asperger's?...yes, it can, but not necessarily will.

(I could ride a bike and never interrupted anyone.)

 

[~Jen~]

Thank you everyone. I will definitely watch him and talk to the Dr about it.

 

[Arashi222]

1. Do all children with Aspergers have all of the symptoms?
No most children will have most but not all the symptoms and they will have it in varying degrees.
2. Do they have the symptoms at all times or can it vary from situation to situation?
Most of the time they are there all the time but in depending severity. For example some times being overly stressed in a crowded shop might elicit a strong reaction but in a store that is part of their special interest may not bother them at all.
3. Do children with Aspergers always have trouble with making friends?
Some have more trouble than others. But at his age most of us have some friends or people we associated with. High school was when things got worse because there are more social demands more social issues to attend that get beyond our scope and that is usually when we start to have more trouble. Eye contact is hard for us.

 

[Nancy Romo]

Aspergers syndrome is quite remarkable to say the least. The fact that a child with this illness doesn’t have any sort of cognitive delay before the age of three is astonishing. These children begin their childhood with the “normal IQ.” Aspergers children tend to have poor social skills and have very few friends. An intriguing and unexpected fact is that they have been known to be clumsy and awkward. Hand and eye coordination isn’t a strong point for them but they do no have to have every symptom to be diagnosed. In a website named "NAMI," many side effects and symptoms are stated. One sided conversations are common especially when it is about something the child is interested in. Difficulty in managing stress and having possible meltdowns is also a symptom. National Alliance in Mental Illness can be a great read for a better understanding before heading to a doctor for possible diagnosis!

 

[purplemezzo]

I would suggest having him formally evaluated for giftedness by a gifted specialist. The gifted and those on the spectrum have many similar traits. Gifted children are often misdiagnosed as having ADD. Look into Dabrowski and overexcitabilities in the gifted. My two youngest children are gifted and my oldest is on the spectrum.

 

[Ereth]

Aspergers syndrome is quite remarkable to say the least. The fact that a child with this illness doesn’t have any sort of cognitive delay before the age of three is astonishing.

Why is this "astonishing"? Not everyone with ASD has cognitive delays. I had other delays related to my premature birth, but nothing cognitive, as far as I can remember. I was also advanced for my age, especially in reading. And I advise caution in using the word "illness." It carries the kind of negative connotation many of us would rather do without.

An intriguing and unexpected fact is that they have been known to be clumsy and awkward. Hand and eye coordination isn’t a strong point for them but they do no have to have every symptom to be diagnosed.

Intriguing? Perhaps. Unexpected? Not quite---not unless a person's knowledge of autism symptoms is restricted to what is parroted by popular culture.

 

[Tarragon]

Aspergers syndrome is quite remarkable to say the least. The fact that a child with this illness doesn’t have any sort of cognitive delay before the age of three is astonishing. These children begin their childhood with the “normal IQ.” Aspergers children tend to have poor social skills and have very few friends. An intriguing and unexpected fact is that they have been known to be clumsy and awkward. Hand and eye coordination isn’t a strong point for them but they do no have to have every symptom to be diagnosed. In a website named "NAMI," many side effects and symptoms are stated. One sided conversations are common especially when it is about something the child is interested in. Difficulty in managing stress and having possible meltdowns is also a symptom. National Alliance in Mental Illness can be a great read for a better understanding before heading to a doctor for possible diagnosis!

Hello Nancy, and welcome to AC

I find your comments here a bit puzzling. First off, Asperger's syndrome IS NOT an illness. Where on earth did you pick up this bit of incorrect information from?

"These children" - you're talking about most people here on AC, and we can tell you exactly what we are like, not in the third person.

As for IQ, it varies. What is "normal IQ"? Well, apart from the 100 test score which is "average". I personally went from not being able to crawl as a baby to walking without even bothering to crawl. I was reading (and understanding) newspapers by the age of three, and my IQ is not something that developed over time. However, every person with Aspergers is different and cannot be categorised with these sorts of statements you've made.

I really think that perhaps you could do with some better information sources before you inform other people about Aspergers. You have got a lot of your facts utterly wrong I'm afraid. I hope you find AC a place to better understand the condition (not illness) that is autism and Aspergers.

I also hope you don't think I am attacking you personally with these comments, I hope you talk to people here and learn about autism and Aspergers from a better source than the one you have come across before.

 

[Judge]

Hello Nancy, and welcome to AC

I find your comments here a bit puzzling. First off, Asperger's syndrome IS NOT an illness. Where on earth did you pick up this bit of incorrect information from?

In all fairness, she got it verbatim from this website: NAMI | What is Mental Illness? <facepalm>

Perhaps this would be a better point of reference: Dear Abby: Is Autism a Mental Illness? | Psychology Today

Prior to 1973 the medical community considered homosexuality to be deviant behavior. We know better now.

I guess in the case of autism it will take time as well to conclude that we are neurologically different- not necessarily neurologically deficient.

 

[Tarragon]

In all fairness, she got it verbatim from this website: NAMI | What is Mental Illness? <facepalm>

Hmmm, another misinformation site. Time for me to send a polite email to the editors of NAMI pointing out their gross error....

 

[Judge]

Hmmm, another misinformation site. Time for me to send a polite email to the editors of NAMI pointing out their gross error....

Scary, huh? The weird thing is that the alternate website address I posted for Psychology Today was dated 2008!

Outdated mentalities die hard I suppose....

 

[Ereth]

I think NAMI actually knows its sh*t, though---generally speaking. This seems to be a case of poor wording more than anything else, as NAMI does not appear to make the distinction made in the "Dear Abby" article that neurologically-based conditions are not "mental illnesses." I noticed the page on schizophrenia Semantics is a pain in the butt sometimes. This is quite a complex subject, to be fair.

So, yes, it is easy to see why families whose members are afflicted by autism might hope to recategorize the condition. But, Dear Abby, might you have replied that today an alternative and arguably yet more humane response would consist in embracing the “mental illness” label — and insisting that that isn’t shameful?

 

[Tarragon]

NAMI actually knows its sh*t, though. I think this is a case of poor wording more than anything else, as NAMI does not appear to make the distinction made in the "Dear Abby" article that neurologically-based conditions are not "mental illnesses." Semantics is a pain in the butt sometimes.

I have checked their website, and it goes beyond a poorly defined sentence of two. Autism is listed in their list of mental illnesses.

I have emailed them this letter:-


Hi there,
It has come to my attention from a post in another forum for People with Aspergers, that your website refers to Autism and Aspergers as "mental illnesses". This is not correct to any degree, and I am sure if you consulted with any specialist in this field, they would confirm my view.

I respectfully ask you to remove your references to Autism and Aspergers from your website. It is true that having these conditions may lead people into developing mental illnesses due to the stresses of dealing with people in the outside world, but that is a secondary effect. The root causes of autism are hard wired into our brains, and not caused by an illness post conception.

Respectfully,

---

Lets see if they respond....

 

[Ereth]

I have checked their website, and it goes beyond a poorly defined sentence of two. Autism is listed in their list of mental illnesses.

Yes, I see that. But "mental illness" does not necessarily have to have a negative connotation. I cautioned Nancy against using "illness" because I knew it might set people off. Are we somehow deficient? Of course not. Does autism have a basis in neurological difference? Yes. Unfortunately, though, there's not really a single term to describe the complexities of autism without creating a whole lot of stigma. People are still ashamed to be thought of as "mentally ill."

 

[Judge]

Semantics is a pain in the butt sometimes. This is quite a complex subject, to be fair.

Yes...and one of the most disturbing issues to me in general. That the medical community projects the impression of not being on the same page when it comes to autism and so many other disorders with "overlapping" considerations.

Agree with Ereth as well in that society needs to redefine mental illness to get rid of all the stigmatization wrongly associated with it.

 

[Ereth]

Yes...and one of the most disturbing issues to me in general. That the medical community projects the impression of not being on the same page when it comes to autism and so many other disorders with "overlapping" considerations.

The medical community most certainly is not on the same page, and I would never expect uniform agreement on any issue, especially when it's not "settled." The same is true for any scientific theory. I don't think it's necessarily anything to fear. Our primary concern is that we should continue to advocate for ourselves as people so that no one ever loses sight of this fact.

I realize that some people may feel I'm playing devil's advocate here, but honestly, NAMI isn't full of heartless, terrible people. Look here:

Schizophrenia is often mischaracterized as an untreatable disease associated with violent behavior and many untrue and unfortunate stereotypes have developed. Most individuals living with schizophrenia are not violent; risk of violence is associated primarily with factors such as psychotic symptoms or substance abuse. Even then, violent behavior is generally uncommon and the overall contribution of schizophrenia to violence in a community is small. When engaging in treatment, schizophrenia is a manageable disease. The varying nature of each case though means that recovery for every individual is different.

I pulled this from the page on schizophrenia. Obviously they'e doing their best to discourage any sort of misinformed ostracizing here. I really don't think "mental illness" is used in a disparaging way. Rather, it seems to be intended in purely a clinical fashion. I don't suppose "disorder" or "anomaly" makes us feel any better. But it's all about intent and context.

 

[Tarragon]

I am officially diagnosed with Aspergers, which is a condition not an illness. I have in the past suffered from depression which is a mental illness. Im not bothered by saying this, as you can't help getting ill (So, you broke your leg. Shame on you!)

What bugs me about this is that Autism is not an illness, mental or otherwise. Lets get this very clear. There is a lot of misinformation out there, and there is no excuse for a website created to inform people being so fundamentally wrong.

Illness is not another way of describing the way your neurons are wired in your brain. I beat depression, and am no longer under it's grip. I am still autistic, and do not need curing of that.


I do not want to destroy NAMI, merely help them get their facts right.