Catch-22 of Autism ?

[ftfipps]

I have to go to the rough, crime ridden **** part of town to get services. Filthy mental health centers. I have to take a bus which is a cardinal sin to most people. You aren't viewed as a person in my town if you ride the bus. Homelessness. Waking up in the middle of the night in a shopping center parking lot to the sound of someone fumbling with the back door latch on my car. You aren't viewed as a person if you have mental health issues.

 

[the_tortoise]

I lean towards "ignorance is bliss" for myself but it's all very complicated....

 

[Daniel_Powers]

Sometimes I am A and sometimes I am B. I hate both. Usually when I am being an A I am told by someone that I have no sympathy or empathy for others. Then the other time when I am B it will be when I am talking to someone and afterwards I am racking my brain asking myself over and over if I said something I know I shouldn't have said.

 

[Judge]

Sometimes I am A and sometimes I am B. I hate both. Usually when I am being an A I am told by someone that I have no sympathy or empathy for others. Then the other time when I am B it will be when I am talking to someone and afterwards I am racking my brain asking myself over and over if I said something I know I shouldn't have said.

I think that can be especially upsetting when you feel like something went wrong, yet are for whatever reason never able to really understand what it was that actually went wrong.

 

[Chance]

I think that can be especially upsetting when you feel like something went wrong, yet are for whatever reason never able to really understand what it was that actually went wrong.

I fall into the hard B category... I think most of my posts and replies even reflect it.

I have a lot of "social awareness" but navigating it is really tough at times, often it gets me into messes that I never intended to get into. I will "sense" it wrong and reply with something that makes sense to me at the moment, and then later it "hits me" of what an idiot I can be...

It's embarrassing and causes lots of self worthlessness issues at times, but I just keep trying, (It's all I can do really)...

On posts it's not so bad because I can edit or delete it... But in real life there is no delete button for what might randomly come out of my mouth meaning well, sounding horrible because I was just using logic without much emotion most often... That's one reason I walk around being an unsocial clam most often.

If I had a choice (and I may sound like a jerk to say this)... I would rather be fully mind blind. Then I wouldn't know or care about how bad I screw up maybe. It kind of sucks to be stuck where you know but yet you don't until after the fact most the time...

 

[Judge]

If I had a choice (and I may sound like a jerk to say this)... I would rather be fully mind blind. Then I wouldn't know or care about how bad I screw up maybe. It kind of sucks to be stuck where you know but yet you don't until after the fact most the time...

Could well be. Yet being mind-blind about what you say to others usually means most of your social interactions will consistently go badly- or worse. Even over the most innocuous things.

Often left with anger and frustration. With no ability to comprehend why people may be so hostile or even predatory towards you. Where all you do is endlessly blame them and never yourself. Often making matters worse having re-approached the same people socially.

-Catch-22, indeed.

 

[Chance]

Could well be. Yet being mind-blind about what you say to others usually means most of your social interactions will consistently go badly- or worse. Even over the most innocuous things.

Often left with anger and frustration. With no ability to comprehend why people may be so hostile or even predatory towards you. Where all you do is endlessly blame them and never yourself. Often making matters worse having re-approached the same people socially.

-Catch-22, indeed.

I do get myself into lots of unintended messes, mostly because I don't respond (or barely respond) and that tends to irritate people... I have never liked fighting, confrontation, or being ugly to people - even if they have hurt me. So if I sense anger I just basically clam up.

It's not that I ignore people (though I am told I do). I just more less shrug my shoulders and go back to what I was doing, if I cant find the words I feel I need to say, or if I feel it's a waste of words and time to mess with it... Apparently that is seen as being very rude, but its not rude to me, nor would it offend me for someone to do that to me. Its perfectly logical to me, so its no big deal.

Word battles are just not worth it to me... I just wish I knew the right things to say, at more of the right times... Instead of when mulling over it three days later, when its not even an issue anymore and obviously way too late to fix it.