I have been officially diagnosed as "mentally retarded" now. I guess the "pc" term is "disabled," but I don't want to mince my words. This is the diagnosis I have to live with now and, while I was quite happy at the prospect of being diagnosed with Asperger's, or even social retardation (because it's actually true), since I got this new label of "mentally disabled," I have been feeling very bad about myself and people who refuse to see me as I really am, not least because throughout my entire life, my family has been communicating, not least in straight words, that I am stupid. Well, now it's official. So every time my brother shouted at me that I was retarded, well... he was right.
Is it common for people on the high-functioning end of the spectrum to get told or diagnosed as mentally disabled? I don't mean mentally ill or suffering from a mental health issue, which is psychological. I mean mentally disabled, like someone whose brain did not develop right and thus has defective brain activity and processing ability.
I have been told that I cannot be evaluated for Asperger's, because I was born with a very rare genetic disorder which, due to circumstances beyond my control (my father), was not properly treated for the necessary amount of time. The result is that it affected my neurological development. Ironically, unfortunately, the symptoms are uncannily similar to the symptoms of Asperger's, so the psychiatrists said they would not be able to tell if I am suffering from Asperger's or my disorder.
My disorder literally hinders the development of the brain in childhood if not treated properly. My treatment ceased at age 3, but should have continued until age 6. I maintain, however, that I am not mentally disabled as people mean, but now I have been labeled this way, when I really wanted to choose my label as autistic, because I don't think I'm just stupid because of my disorder. I think people think I'm stupid because I have ASD.
I am very upset by this label I have been given. I have an IQ of 123, I graduated from university with honors. I have worked as a translator from several languages, one of them the grammatically complex Finnish.
So is it normal for people on the spectrum to be told they're stupid or "mentally disabled"?
The "cognitive disabilities" I have that caused my doctor (a specialist in my disorder) to give me this certificate, were:
“the patient describes moderate restrictions of cognitive functions in the form of slow processing of information, difficulties assimilating verbal instructions and slow learning. She also describes social difficulties with difficulty having contact with other people for longer periods of time, especially several people at once, but prefers to be alone."
What nobody ever takes into consideration is why I process information more slowly than other people and why I have trouble following spoken instructions and speech in general when people talk too fast--and I told my doctor--when I process information, I do it thoroughly and deeply, so, yes, it takes me longer and I get left behind when people keep talking, I'm still processing what they said earlier. But then I pick up details and flaws in logic that the speaker doesn't perceive. And still, they tell me I'm retarded.
I'm thinking about pursuing an ASD evaluation privately and not telling the psychiatrist that I have this disorder. If I could get a positive ASD diagnosis, I would be proud to call myself an "Aspie," rather than say "yeah, I'm stupid and slow, just like you think I am."
