Challenging The Therapist

[Gift2humanity]

Even though he turned up a few minutes early, he had no opportunity to take his coat off (having just braved the elements), sit down for a moment and gather himself before going in. She was right there, introducing herself, and bringing him through.

She then proceeded to perform a little drama about whether the light was too bright, whether it should be on or off. For a moment it seemed possible that it might happen without it, and she did try it, but quickly decided she wouldn't be able to write properly. She put on a lamp to see if that would work; it had the dimmest bulb he'd ever seen in an office.

So in an attempt at getting on with things, he said he’d be fine, and just kept his eyes closed instead; the bright lights felt a little like being under a spotlight.

The office had three comfortable chairs, a desk with a computer, and something green that resembled a plant.

She launched into her spiel about what this was, and what he could expect from it. She spoke very quickly as she did so; used to saying these words that had become a part of her routine. So he stopped her, mid-sentence, and asked if it was possible for her to say these things as if it was the first time she was saying them. He explained that it was hard for him to follow what she said as it seemed so matter of fact and impersonal. She said she'd try, and then carried on pretty much as before.

He interrupted her again and asked if she might speak a little slower, which she did, and it helped, but soon carried on in a similar fashion once she got going again. He asked her two more times to slow down; she probably wasn't used to being dealt with this way, and this was when he discovered she was newly qualified. So he apologised if he'd caused her a problem. She said she could see she was in the habit of just rattling the introduction off. He appreciated her saying that and thanked her for doing so.

He asked for some water, which she had to leave the room to get. Once his mouth was in a usable state, he asked if it was possible to begin without just going through the questions first. If he was going to trust her and be comfortable revealing himself, he'd have to find a way to get through to her and hope she'd let him. He found her personality difficult to deal with, and there were several times when he felt her getting irritated by his interruptions.

He asked if she could just let him talk for a bit, to see where it went, without her interrupting. She was reluctant, but his explanation as to why seemed to make a difference, and so she agreed, and then immediately took it back as she started to impose structure and conditions again. It was like being in some kind of jousting match. He wasn't trying to be difficult, only explain what was going on for him, and he was well aware that she'd only just met him, and yet, as if a big complication had descended on her, he was interfering with her usual routine. He needed to feel he could talk to her. Would she go outside her training, go outside the box?

She started to run through the questions, saying that she'd let him speak after. She started with 'what do you feel is the problem that has brought you here today?’ He had no idea how to just answer that. He sat there, seeing if something might come; nothing did. He tried to say something, anything, just to start talking, and as he did, suddenly realised that if he did it her way, he'd end up spending all the remaining time answering her formal questions, rather than use the time to explore what was actually going on for him. He told her this, and it was like he'd caught her trying to manipulate him into doing it her way by stealthy means. She chuckled a little at having been 'found out'.

He asked her if he could reveal what was going on for him rather than just answer questions, and she again agreed. He still had his 'watering' eyes closed from the bright lights, so he knew he wouldn't be affected by her body language or any expression that might appear on her face. Yet, as he spoke, literally every few seconds, she made a noise: 'Uhumm! Uhumm!' It kept getting in the way.

He paused to explain how her noise was affecting him, and asked if it was possible for her to just listen to him without making it. She said she'd try, after having to explain why she did. He didn't need her confirmation/affirmation that she was listening in order to talk. Besides, when she reflected back to him some of what he said, she did for the most part reveal that she'd actually heard him quite well.

At no time did he feel he could relax with her. He felt a blocking sensation the whole time he was there, as if his energy was being channelled through something narrow and tight. He couldn't listen to the way she said things, and if she asked him something, that wasn't based on what he’d said, he had no idea how to respond to it.

Finally, she let him speak, and she was even able to stop her utterances (after a few more slipped out anyway), and he got to talk for a few minutes. He wasn't really aware of her during this, and just let out whatever came out. She did make a strange noise at some point, which caused him to stop, but she quickly excused herself, and he was able to carry on.

She stopped him for the final time as she said the session was now over. She told him there were a few times during his monologue when she'd wanted to ask something, but because she ‘couldn't’ interrupt, didn’t. He realised it might've been better if she had done, and told her so. He never saw her again.

Creatively expressed experience of a waste of time.

 

[Gift2humanity]

If you see a therapist privately, you could easily see them for a long time, and as long as you can pay and want to continue, there's no real reason to stop. Whereas being treated under the NHS, they only give you a small number of sessions, which may not be enough. This is my first experience of NHS therapy, so I don't know if things can be repeated at some point, and how long that period between would be.

The private system doesn't want you to stop, whereas the public system doesn't give you enough. Not unless you are in need of a psychiatrist, then it's available as required. Perhaps talking therapy is not seen as an essential service, which would explain why it is underfunded and understaffed, and especially over the last year, has many people waiting to use it. The private sector can always take up the slack if you can afford it. The NHS is quite happy for you to do so.

We shouldn't have to though, it makes a mockery of what Nye Bevan created in 1948 which is admired by the rest of the world.

I had my CBT mindfulness course on NHS by IAPT - an organisation one can self refer to and my CPN was happy to. They request your feedback on a form and say it's important for users to complete the form, which also asks about how you feel, it's CBT based.
They rang me this morning as they think I need an assessment based on what I put on my form.
I use CBT a bit, it does have it's place but not a cure all, a portable therapy, cheap.
I did courses years ago when it was run by LIFT a similar organisation to IAPT.

 

[OkRad]

I'm sorry to hear that about eldercare.

Having lived there as an outsider for almost 3 years, around elder people who needed plenty of access, I was appalled on several occasions as to how difficult and confusing it was. If you don't have the right insurance (whatever that is) you don't get what you need. It must be so stressful knowing you might need, but not knowing if you will get it or have to pay loads on top.

That is true. But there is no "right insurance" for the poor. Once you are 65, everyone is forced onto Medicare which in itself is not bad. But it, too, has co-insurance, deductible, co-pays (which are different than co-insurance) because it only covers 80%.

So there are massive industries of markets to "cover then 20%" which range from terribly expensive ($3,000 an month) to $0 a month which reduces choice and you are assigned to an HMO or Drs group which can be an entire region of medical providers (to include hospitals) which are owned by the insurance company.

The clincher is that, even with all that soaking off the seniors, Medicare still does NOT cover nursing home care after day 100. While there is theoretically long term care insurance which people could pay into monthly for years, most cannot afford to do that on top of regular insurance and medical care costs, raising a family, education costs, etc.

So, essentially if you need nursing home care, everyone EITHER has to self pay or go onto Medicaid which is care for the poor. But it is not that easy because you have to be poor and they look back 5 years. But this is the US, so fear not. There are LAWYERS!

SO there is also and ENTIRE industry of Elder Care Lawyers who specialize in finding loopholes in the law for the wealthy (because even the wealthy could never afford it unless they are super, super rich) so they can preserve their assets AND qualify for Medicaid which is care for the poor and requires you to have no more than about $2000 for the duration.

Medicaid is also for the young-poor and they, too, are not allowed to have more than 2grand except in expansion states (but that will come back to bite them when Medicaid turns into a loan after age 55----more on that in a minute) and they are not allowed to have an income over a certain percentage of the Federal Poverty Level. Uh oh! This means young people on Medicaid have to give up inheritance, accident rewards, alimony, etc and sometimes cannot even marry -----or lose the health care.

So it is terror for the seniors again when they realize the lawyers often only take the cases if there is at least $3000,000 dollars of assets (from which they can extract their own heavy load from the senior).

SO a poor person in the US who is on Medicaid can NEVER have more than 2grand and seniors trying to get onto Medicaid have to figure out a way to get poor fast and hide stuff (or pay to have a lawyer find a way to break the laws legally).

Thus, the massive wealth gaps in the US and why Medicaid is really for the abject poor who have to stay that way forever, or sneaky rich who become faker-poor.

AND to top it all off, Medicaid is actually a LOAN after age 55, meaning that anyone on Medicaid for any reason beginning at age 55 will have to pay back Medicaid for every and all services. You may ask, "What can they take from a poor person?" This is a number one reason why seniors lose home and ancestral dwellings and farms and land. It's a perfect way to snatch real estate from a sick person, even if they have kids.

These sad people, of course, are the middle class who cannot afford Elder Care Lawyers and the aforementioned people who were enrolled in Expansion States (states that allowed non-disabled etc poor to be on Medicaid) who had no idea Medicaid was a loan over age 55 and got sucker punched bad when they went back to work or finally got help for an illness only to find a $50,000 bill in their mailboxes. Heart attack in the making.

Even with the Disability Savings Accounts (ABLE Accounts) almost all require Medicaid to be your beneficiary and all require you to have complicated third party handlers and non-accessible to you. Cf: to that in Canada (RDSP) which goes through the bank and allows you to choose your own beneficiary.

This is why the US will never solve health care or its poverty levels. It's a massive, huge, colossal INDUSTRY which gets billions and billions from the federal gvt. In fact, Medicaid is now public/private with the same co's getting multi billion dollar grants from the Feds to administer Medicaid and do a terrible job as they pocket away lots and lots with which to lobby congress for more. (US has more health care lobbyists than DOD lobbyists).

This is just one sector of the public health care plan. I have not even said a peep about the private insurance industry which is a massive headache itself as some is tied to work, some to "ObamaCare etc. It is SO COMPLICATED that a single hospital can have up to 1,500 people working in the billing department and in some cases the entire department is set apart from the health care setting and is its own market. Since no one will believe that, I will post a link. I can post links for anything else, too, so feel free to ask.

So, truly, an American's best health care plan is to 1. get rich. 2. NOT to get sick......3. or MOVE.

Costs Associated With Physician Billing and Insurance-Related Activities