Church and Autism

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Your mileage may vary. There are probably churches out there that would be bothered by that, or at least have individuals bothered by it. Clearly shouldn't be the case, but some people stay immature about that sort of thing.

i don't bring yarn projects to synagogues. you follow along in prayer books. so there is no time for wandering minds.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Quaker meetings are largely silent and most request fragrance free. I did have trouble navigating the social before and after times,

With the onset of covid, many began meeting via zoom. This has morphed into hybrid meetings: some people meet in person and some participate by zoom.

This has been perfect for me. I can worship without having to do the social part.

 

[Sherlock77]

Quaker meetings are largely silent and most request fragrance free. I did have trouble navigating the social before and after times,

With the onset of covid, many began meeting via zoom. This has morphed into hybrid meetings: some people meet in person and some participate by zoom.

This has been perfect for me. I can worship without having to do the social part.

Fascinating I'm the opposite... In September 2020 when we started live in-person services again (with mask and distanced) I was there immediately, now that we're past pandemic stage I would much rather be there in person... Any meeting where I am there in real life and see the speaker is preferable to me... Watching over a screen just isn't the same experience...

Just how we are all different, that's all

 

[Slime_Punk]

I’m an atheist, but I was raised Christian, and I go to church with my family on holidays to avoid scrutiny from my family. I remember as a kid I always hated church, and I still do. In retrospect, it’s an autistic nightmare: people wanting to shake your hand and making eye contact you as soon as you get in the door, loud music, not being able to stim through a service. I want to know if other people, atheist or not, feel the same way that I do about church.

Just out of curiosity, do you also have social anxiety? I was raised christian as well, and I had a lot of trouble sitting through sermons and things like that (especially as I got older) due to it. I didn't know I had ASD at the time, but I feel like both together can make this rather difficult.

Being somewhat a believer in a higher power now (after a very long period of atheism), every time I even vaguely think about the idea of going to church, I remind myself about how hard breaking through that barrier would be. Although, I do think it's possible to get desensitized over time if someone is committed to it anyway.

If I had the means to do it, I'd absolutely use that as a means of reconnecting with people in a somewhat-intimate setting. Sometimes I think problems like SAD stem from a lack of that 'fellowship', or at least that's what I see in myself quite a lot these days. I think this is just an overly-complicated way of saying that I need the holy spirit to enter my life, but I guess it depends on how you look at it!

 

[AutisticMilly]

Just out of curiosity, do you also have social anxiety? I was raised christian as well, and I had a lot of trouble sitting through sermons and things like that (especially as I got older) due to it. I didn't know I had ASD at the time, but I feel like both together can make this rather difficult.

Being somewhat a believer in a higher power now (after a very long period of atheism), every time I even vaguely think about the idea of going to church, I remind myself about how hard breaking through that barrier would be. Although, I do think it's possible to get desensitized over time if someone is committed to it anyway.

If I had the means to do it, I'd absolutely use that as a means of reconnecting with people in a somewhat-intimate setting. Sometimes I think problems like SAD stem from a lack of that 'fellowship', or at least that's what I see in myself quite a lot these days. I think this is just an overly-complicated way of saying that I need the holy spirit to enter my life, but I guess it depends on how you look at it!

I do have social anxiety, but I’d say that the autism is/was more of what caused me to struggle. The social interaction at every corner was just too much.

 

[Judge]

Pretty much. I left the church at the age of 15, with the consent of my parents. They came to the proper conclusion that I was getting nothing out of it. And they were right.

I remain a fan of God, but not based on any one organized religion. I found my own spiritual path to follow, void of fellowship, dogma, rules and rituals established by mere mortals.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

At Christmas I was invited to a Blue Christmas service at an Episcopal Church. I went and noticed two, no really three things.

1. It is noisy. There is always talking and singing going on. How can anyone listen to a "higher power" or God when there is so much noise?

2. I had forgotten how much of liturgy is dogmatic and "talking down" to parishioners. I accept there is a power much much greater than myself, but I still expect to be treated with respect and not as a naughty child.

3. The liturgy has changed so much from that of my childhood, I didn't even have the comfort of old, familiar passages and routines.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I had forgotten how much of liturgy is dogmatic and "talking down" to parishioners. I accept there is a power much much greater than myself, but I still expect to be treated with respect and not as a naughty child.

From what I can tell, this is a very common view. I agree with it, too.

I'm still holding out hope that the younger generations will come around and turn it more into a positive, inclusive environment rather that one that demonizes others, and I think something like this will indeed happen in time. Statistically, I'm sure there are some that already exist like this, but I bet they're a little rarer and not everybody has one in their community. But I think some kind of renaissance could be on the horizon, at least.

 

[Alexej]

At Christmas I was invited to a Blue Christmas service at an Episcopal Church. I went and noticed two, no really three things.

1. It is noisy. There is always talking and singing going on. How can anyone listen to a "higher power" or God when there is so much noise?

2. I had forgotten how much of liturgy is dogmatic and "talking down" to parishioners. I accept there is a power much much greater than myself, but I still expect to be treated with respect and not as a naughty child.

3. The liturgy has changed so much from that of my childhood, I didn't even have the comfort of old, familiar passages and routines.

What is a blue Christmas service? - that is a new term to me.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

What is a blue Christmas service? - that is a new term to me.

It’s a service especially for people who have suffered loss and are not full of the expected-of-you Christmas cheer. So the various readings, songs, etc. were chosen with that in mind. The pastor was available afterwards to give counseling or a blessing.

From what I can tell, this is a very common view. I agree with it, too.

I'm still holding out hope that the younger generations will come around and turn it more into a positive, inclusive environment rather that one that demonizes others, and I think something like this will indeed happen in time. Statistically, I'm sure there are some that already exist like this, but I bet they're a little rarer and not everybody has one in their community. But I think some kind of renaissance could be on the horizon, at least.

I also remembered after my post, the emphasis on groveling about what terrible sinners we are. I’d forgotten that as well. While I am far from perfect and have no trouble stating I made a mistake or did something selfish, etc., I don’t believe God requires groveling.

 

[Alexej]

It’s a service especially for people who have suffered loss and are not full of the expected-of-you Christmas cheer. So the various readings, songs, etc. were chosen with that in mind. The pastor was available afterwards to give counseling or a blessing.

What a lovely idea - for those for whom this Christmas does not match the "ideal"

 

[Crossbreed]

What a lovely idea - for those for whom this Christmas does not match the "ideal"

They took its name from this 1948 song,...

Blue Christmas, Elvis Presley (1957)

 

[Rachie]

I'm really lucky to live like less than five minutes away from my church. I am non denominational and attend an Anglican church now where I live. I am an early riser and they have an 8am Holy Communion service which is just 30 minutes. I like getting the Eurachist on a Sunday and find it helpful to have that routine. There is no music and the Eurchaist is placed in our hands and they use santiser. Being that short helps me. The rector is approachable as well. Lately, I have been attending their Wednesday service for Holy Communion at 10.30am.

 

[Rachie]

I had a bit of an experience yesterday. I attended my church, not my regular service at 8 am though as that was cancelled due to the London Bike rides. I attended the 10am Holy Communion parish service though. The service I usually attend is a silent service in a small chapel. The parish service is more attended of course and it has music. I do like certain types of music. However, the organ unfortunately affected me my nervous system yesterday. It made me remember when I was in primary school whenever they used to play the piano loudly in the morning and sing I used to run out of the assembly. I have been a bit unsure what I was up to, but clearly it likely affected me. I am sensitive to noise and experienced a very loud theatre just a few days ago that I had to take wearing ear defenders and it still affected me as well. I have my own music playlist of worship music and do some like certain type of music as well.

 

[Harmonie]

Church was absolutely dreadful for me, too. I don't know what it was, I think that ADHD played a factor - as being asked to sit still and listen to a sermon was the worst thing for childhood me. I just wanted to go home and do things that stimulated me. I remember drawing on the church program sheets. It was the only thing I could do to keep sane, and even still it wasn't enough.

Be it a result of neurodivergence or otherwise, I'm very happy that I never got attached to church or church life/community. That made when I stopped believing so much easier. My parents stopped attending church in my mid to late teens and stopped making me go as well. No tears were shed.

As for autism - well, I haven't been screened yet, so I can't say for sure whether I'm autistic or not. I do know one thing and that's that a "strong sense of justice" is often listed as a symptom of autism, and I do feel like that describes me very well. I formed a strong sense of morality early on and that did not seem to come from religion much if at all. That "strong sense of justice" would eventually clash with my religious beliefs, which caused a huge reckoning for me.

My deconstruction was complicated, there were many factors, but the clash with my morality was a huge factor that unraveled my belief. For as long as I can remember, I see treating each human as a human being as a pinnacle of what is moral. Now the churches I was raised in were pretty tame, and my parents are liberal, so I didn't get exposed to more conservative forms until I began to grow up, go to school, become politically aware, etc. I will abstain from going too much into the politics, but know that it plays a role here, too.

A huge part of this all was that I became more knowledgeable on the Bible (young Christian me was, as you might expect from the beginning of this post, pretty ignorant. Paying attention in church was extremely hard for me, so I only go the rosy pictures of the stories). When I learned what the Bible said about women, gay people, slavery, etc. it was irreconcilable with my morality.

The irreconcilability with my strong morality was a key factor in the loss of my belief, as once I was at major odds with the Bible on that, I was able to take a step back and realize that I never had a reason to believe in the religion or deity to begin with.

So... If it turns out that my "strong sense of justice" trait is autism-related, then it could be said that it played a huge role in my deconstruction. One of which I'm grateful for. Still, as I have not been screened for, much less confirmed, autistic, I have to take this thought with a grain of salt. It could be related to autism, or it could not be. Someday I hope to find out so. When I feel safe enough to get screened.

 

[mw2530]

I started going to a very large church near where I live in the last year or two. I don't go every week, but maybe once or twice per month, although I have not been there in a couple months probably. I grew up going to church most Sundays, but like many others stopped going after high school. The nice thing about going to a large church is few know me and I for the most part could go and leave without really talking to anyone. I could blend in with the crowd. I also did not feel as weird sitting alone since I have noticed some other people sitting alone, but the vast majority are with others. One of the problems I have with church is they are primarily geared toward families so it is hard to fit in as a single person. I joined a men's group this past spring which was ok, but the weekly meetups were in a large room with small groups at each table and the room was super loud (for someone sensitive to noise) once everyone started talking at their tables. On top of that, I could not really relate to others at my table because most were a bit older and had wives and kids. As a single person who has never really been in any sort of romantic relationship, it was a bit painful to hear about their lives because it has felt like my personal life hasn't even started. But they certainly had their share of problems, no doubt about that. Some of them were friendly, but it is deflating having the feeling of rarely being able to relate with others. It is frustrating feeling like an oddball even at a place where all people are to be welcomed. I digress.

I believe that you can be a Christian without going to church (or other religions). And I have met plenty of people who go to church that do not behave very Christian like. Granted a Christian believes you are not saved by your deeds, but I think some people only go to church to make them feel better.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I believe that you can be a Christian without going to church (or other religions). And I have met plenty of people who go to church that do not behave very Christian like. Granted a Christian believes you are not saved by your deeds, but I think some people only go to church to make them feel better.

While not saved by deeds, we are told "By their fruit you shall know them". So if they are actually Christians (living by Christ's teachings), it will show in how they relate to others. Jesus' most often repeated command was to love one another.

Nowadays it's easy to virtually attend church. My mom doesn't drive anymore, and rather than have family or friends drive her, she has chosen to watch the live stream on YouTube. I, being very averse to crowds and loud music, as well as being touch averse (awkward when people want to shake your hand), have found the virtual route to be best for me as well. Whether streaming video or even audio only, I can benefit from a service without being overwhelmed by the environment.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I attend my Quaker Meeting for Worship via Zoom every morning. Meetings are mostly silent, engaged in listening for God’s message.

I used to attend in person meetings. During the pandemic some virtual meetings were started. When the restrictions were lifted, some continued with zoom and in person, hybrid meetings. I prefer virtual meetings because I always had a hard time with the socialization that goes on before and after meetings.

 

[Jeff T]

When I was growing up, I had at least two issues concerning going to church on Sunday-
I have ADHD, and staying still for an hour was next to impossible; and the Autism, in which the textures of the Sunday church clothes were annoying to the point of distraction (especially the ankle-dropping church dress socks).
In addition to the Sunday services, I attended CCD after the public school across the street let out for the days.
But the Bible was at odds with how I perceived the world. I also didn't understand why we were in a man-made building closed off from what was considered God's work- the natural world? Yeah, there is rain, but 90% of the time it ain't happening.
I was sort of unformed- a puzzled agnostic without knowing the word yet. It took John Lennon's "Imagine" to give me a shove to the atheism. Much later, an agnostic again. Nowadays, probably an Eartheist, per Edward Abbey.....

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

When I was growing up, I had at least two issues concerning going to church on Sunday-
I have ADHD, and staying still for an hour was next to impossible; and the Autism, in which the textures of the Sunday church clothes were annoying to the point of distraction (especially the ankle-dropping church dress socks).
In addition to the Sunday services, I attended CCD after the public school across the street let out for the days.
But the Bible was at odds with how I perceived the world. I also didn't understand why we were in a man-made building closed off from what was considered God's work- the natural world? Yeah, there is rain, but 90% of the time it ain't happening.
I was sort of unformed- a puzzled agnostic without knowing the word yet. It took John Lennon's "Imagine" to give me a shove to the atheism. Much later, an agnostic again. Nowadays, probably an Eartheist, per Edward Abbey.....

Edward Abbey! We need a few more like him these days. His "church" was alone in the desert.