Church Involvement of Those on the Autism Spectrum

[Butterfly88]

@Sportster @Sherlock77 and @WittyAspie you all make a good point. I'll think about it.

 

[Suiseiseki]

I used to go to the LDS church as I believed a lot of what they said, found it funny enough to make light of as I do for everything in my life, and most important it has the conservative values I want, but I greatly dislike the culture, and as a convert I'd not really get to marry anyone since Mormon girls don't want to marry converts, so I stopped going and never officially joined.

 

[Mr Allen]

Apart from Christenings, Funerals and Weddings I've been to Church about 3 times in my life.

I'm not religious at all, so Church has no interest to me, although having said that there's a couple of kind of religious songs I like, such as Kumbaya, Lord of the Dance and the Lord's Prayer (particularly Sir Cliff's Millennium Prayer, which is the Lord's Prayer sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne)

 

[OneTrackMind]

I have an extensive history with many denominations. I found nothing but , blame, shame and guilt. The abuse I suffered at the hands of the church was horrfic to say the least. It's taken a lifetime to unlearn. Sadly my brother succumb to the oppressive nature and was diagnosed with religous induced schizophrenia in 2012. He kill himself in 2014.

I was involved in the Church. Thanks to my wife; now I am not. She is my salvation. She showed me a way to finding a new life.

Was what it was, Is what it is. If it works for you, then I wish you all the best. Is simply my experience and my view; allthough it's one commonly shared.

 

[Nitro]

The acceptable standard for posting to Aspies Central's forums is to be maintained at a PG-13 level.

Before you post,please ask yourself if you would feel comfortable sharing your information with a 13 year old.

If the answer is not yes,your message may be more appropriate in a private message.

Thank you for your consideration of others.

 

[Warmheart]

This is a reminder that this thread should stay within intended parameters.

Profanity and profanity censor-dodging has no place here.

Thanks for your understanding.

 

[Keigan]

"Meetings, sorry no meetings"

 

[OneTrackMind]

Would be nice if there was a board where we can talk to people older than 13. The egg shell mentality gets draining real quick. Anyone know where there is a mature forum on ASD? Would greatly appreciate it. The constant admonishments are just as depressing.

Cheers
~Dave.

 

[Nitro]

Would be nice if there was a board where we can talk to people older than 13. The egg shell mentality gets draining real quick. Anyone know where there is a mature forum on ASD? Would greatly appreciate it. The constant admonishments are just as depressing.

Cheers
~Dave.

Unfortunately,you do not get to make the rules here.

 

[Nitro]

Sadly you do.

No,once again,you are mistaken my friend.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

I've moved on from several churches because misunderstandings pile up in the long term and eventually cause close relationships to collapse. Neurotypical Christians have different expectations about relationships than Aspie Christians do, I suppose. I have had a tough time with long-term church relationships because I tend to come across as judgmental when I am simply trying to objectively point out actions that appear to me to be sinful--both in myself and others. When I then get pulled aside and get told that I am too judgmental, I reply by asking, "aren't you being judgmental by calling me judgmental?" They never want to hear that and begin avoiding me. After all, I'm the judgmental one, not them.

Oh, well. I have since met and married a fellow Aspie. Our spiritual, political and neurological views are much more closely aligned. I attended worship services at her church for a few months until recently (I didn't get too involved--I simply showed up), but we have since moved. She and I are looking for a new church that isn't too loud for her and that doesn't have obnoxious lighting (for me). I'm trying to talk her into finding (or forming) a house church with fellow Aspies. I haven't yet convinced her that this is the best idea. I'm fairly certain that this is the best way for an Aspie to successfully blend in with a church community for the long term--small, not too loud and nobody is neurotypical. Sure, misunderstandings will still happen, but at least everyone would understand why.

 

[Sherlock77]

You made some excellent points. The challenges of living with AS can make attending traditional worship services difficult, which is one of the reasons why I gravitated to the house church model. Besides having some doctrinal views on the issue, I have found it so much better as one living on the spectrum. Forming a house church isn't difficult. The model is simple and found in Acts and 1 & 2 Corinthians. If you don't feel led to to lead then you could host. All that's needed is a place and a couple people.

Interesting, I think in particular Aspies might struggle in large churches, I mean the ones with well over 500 people... In all 35 years in my current church we have at times had (probably) about 250 at the highest points in the 1980's... At present we have about 60 to 70 people, actually a good number and I feel we are mostly a healthy church in terms of how we function... I also think my number of years there might be helpful in how I function as well, compared to some people's stories...

I do tend to agree with your observation about denominations... Here in western Canada there are so many different ones, there are four or five different Baptist groups, all with basically the same doctrine, other denominations like Church of Christ, Christian & Missionary Alliance, Evangelical Free, of course Pentecostal Assembly of Canada, and many more I haven't listed, again all sharing basically the same doctrine with minor differences... I was dedicated as a baby in a denomination called the Missionary Church, before ending up in a Baptist church (with my parents) as an 8 year old...

I am seeing more and more people I know attending small churches, renting in all sorts of places like community halls, other churches (we have three different churches that rent from us in our building), theatres, and such, and I guess even homes literally... The church I attend for all these years goes back about 110 years in history...

 

[WittyAspie]

Interesting, I think in particular Aspies might struggle in large churches, I mean the ones with well over 500 people... In all 35 years in my current church we have at times had (probably) about 250 at the highest points in the 1980's... At present we have about 60 to 70 people, actually a good number and I feel we are mostly a healthy church in terms of how we function... I also think my number of years there might be helpful in how I function as well, compared to some people's stories...

I do tend to agree with your observation about denominations... Here in western Canada there are so many different ones, there are four or five different Baptist groups, all with basically the same doctrine, other denominations like Church of Christ, Christian & Missionary Alliance, Evangelical Free, of course Pentecostal Assembly of Canada, and many more I haven't listed, again all sharing basically the same doctrine with minor differences... I was dedicated as a baby in a denomination called the Missionary Church, before ending up in a Baptist church (with my parents) as an 8 year old...

I am seeing more and more people I know attending small churches, renting in all sorts of places like community halls, other churches (we have three different churches that rent from us in our building), theatres, and such, and I guess even homes literally... The church I attend for all these years goes back about 110 years in history...

I see positive and negative aspects of having so many small churches. On the positive side, there are plenty of good options so seekers can find the church that suits them best. Smaller churches also tend to be more personal. However, it has a tendency to make Christianity look extremely fractured. Cooperation among different congregations doesn't happen as often as it should and there are some things that are better accomplished by a large group. Overall I think of variety within Christianity as a good thing, but a greater effort could be made toward unity.

 

[Sherlock77]

I see positive and negative aspects of having so many small churches. On the positive side, there are plenty of good options so seekers can find the church that suits them best. Smaller churches also tend to be more personal. However, it has a tendency to make Christianity look extremely fractured. Cooperation among different congregations doesn't happen as often as it should and there are some things that are better accomplished by a large group. Overall I think of variety within Christianity as a good thing, but a greater effort could be made toward unity.

I forgot to add, when I lived in another city for three years I went to a church that was 800 to 1000 people, I never felt very comfortable with that size, I still went because it seemed to be the best option in a small city of about 100,000 people, I'm not sure I would ever do that again...

 

[Spiritfilled]

I’m a Christian, and a worship leader. Kind of charismatic/Pentecostal flavour! I can’t imagine not doing that, it’s my calling. I don’t mind singing in front of people either, because the focus isn’t on me, it’s on Jesus. Just don’t make me talk to loads of people afterwards, I’d rather just play on my phone quietly thanks

 

[Jumpback]

Some of my friends here are aware that I have been working on a Th.D. for some time now. One of the requirements is the completion of a dissertation, which I have been working on for about a year and a half. The title of on my long paper is, “A Theological Study on the Fallacy of Denominationalism and the Modern Church.”

This thread is not for the purpose of theological or religious discussion or a debate of atheist versus believer, but rather it is to learn about the church involvement of those on the spectrum. The purpose of the poll and any noted comments through this venue is to gather data to incorporate into my dissertation, which will afford a broader range of experiences and opinions.

For many years I was involved in a traditional church. I was raised Roman Catholic, but changed to Baptist when I left home and was able to make my own decisions. After trying several different sects of Baptist, I ended up staying in the Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) movement. After many years in that movement I began to notice that the methodology and doctrinal positions were contrary to sound biblical precepts, so I totally left all forms of traditional church and am now involved in a house church. Our belief system is based solely on the Bible; there are no man-made rules and our methodology is based on the First Century Church model found in the Scriptures. It is also very "Aspie-friendly," as I do not have to deal with a large gathering, the folks know me and I know them, and it isn't loud. Most IFB churches have a screaming preacher, whereas our pastor/teacher merely expounds the Word in his lessons.

I always had a lot of discomfort with the remaining still and stand up/sit down model of the Methodist Church I grew up in.

 

[Crossbreed]

I always had a lot of discomfort with the remaining still and stand up/sit down model of the Methodist Church I grew up in.

BTDTGTTS
I have found some churches to be more autism-friendly than others.

Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Fellowship Hints for Christian Neurds...!

 

[Alexej]

BTDTGTTS

I don't speak acronym

 

[Crossbreed]

WT*? I dont speak acronym

(according to your quote, you do...)

What does BTDTGTTS mean? - Definition of BTDTGTTS - BTDTGTTS stands for Been There, Done That, Got The T-Shirt. By AcronymsAndSlang.com

 

[hatfullofrain]

I've scrolled so far that I've forgotten the original question.

I have always managed to find other aspies through church. I live in the UK which is quite secular and I think that my female aspie friends like the structure that church gives.

In mainstream society anything goes. At church there are rules. None of us have ever been big drinkers, we don't go out to get drunk for example, which is a huge social activity in the UK, and in the church people aren't bug drinkers either. It's safer for an aspie woman or maybe more comfortable is a better way of phrasing it.

They're not the kind of women who get any romantic attention, so we have our own group of single aspie ladies who have our own fun, meet for coffee, go to concerts etc.

We're in a church where being busy and helping out rather than marriage is valued i.e. I audit the accounts, my other friend was trained to fix the air conditioning system, and it's great for us non-attractive, bad social skilled women who can't get even a date. We have value even if we don't meet societies check points.