Honestly we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
I personally am extremely coordinated, buuuuuuuuuuuut, I cant do the number thing. You know, you mash numbers together... what do they call it? "Math"? Yeah, that.
No seriously, I cant. At all.
If someone were to come up and ask me something that requires mathing numbers together, I'll probably say something like "hold that thought, quick bathroom break" and then walk into the bathroom and close the door so that nobody can see me needing to count on my fingers to figure it out.
And then I come back and answer and it turns out I get it wrong anyway.
I'm not exaggerating either. I really do that, and I really DONT let anyone see me do it. This is the first time I've ever mentioned it to anyone. It's embarassing.
And that's with super basic stuff, like simple adding and subtracting. Ask me to divide something and you'll just get a blank stare as I mentally crash.
My point is: we all have different things we're good or bad at. And there's little point in comparing yourself to others or thinking that you're not worth something because you cant do something they can. There's probably something you CAN do that they cant do as well, even if you're not aware of it.
Well aware of, in fact part of what makes us as well as everyone so amazing and diverse, and even inclusive of diversity being so similar to sometimes an extenuating nomadic and stereotypical degree.
I still find it helpful, not per say in comparing ourselves to one another but rather being able to experience another’s experience the way they perceive it, not how terminology describes it to.. that’s been a larger part of my issue in diagnosing myself let alone anyone else because everything I experience I denote as being otherwise normal because it -is- my normal and all I’ve ever known to be.
The only times it comes into question is when I can accurately relate to some symptom or reasoning while having it professed to be outside of normal practice, or when I recognize something in someone else.. there’s still many things I’m probably unaware of and looking back, I can see various points that I was in fact arrogant and ablistic of others, presuming they could do what I do and hear what I hear without ever questioning because I believed everyone could.
Thereby just as hypocritical of others, of the same ones I pound my head against a wall trying to explain that I can’t tackle many executive functions and daily routines as well as others can fairly often, sometimes not able to at all altogether.
I enjoy hearing others testimony and account of their lives, hinderances and difficulties just as much as how they may have overcome them or be better acquainted to managing them now..
I can get stuck for hours staring at the other side of the fence wondering the reasons why that lawn make look the same as mine when I know I go through various specific things to help mine grow in the same while never seeing the same practices of it.. but even right alongside someone, the experience still varies between the two. I like to know the variance.
Not being existential, or looking back at alternative paths and options had, I just enjoy expanding my outlook to incorporate the things outside my view, the things I don’t think of, entertain or account for unless given reason to.. just helps me better make sense of the confusion in my life going forward, as recently I am quoted as saying “.. it’s like my world has been entirely turned upside down but is still more right-side up than it’s ever been, if that makes any sense..” upon finally connecting several dots and understanding myself a bit better.
It’s essentially what sparked the advance of requesting a diagnosis because most of my life I’ve been pressured to feel normal, it’s been implied that my mother is a narcissist, that’s I’m incapable of anything, that I won’t live past my teens.. a literal plethora more and well.. I know I was gullible when I was a child, I thought through learning, studying and the pursuit of knowledge that I had risen above being so.. but because of not recognizing things and truly listening to myself it would seem I’ve been gullible me entire life, short of the things I believe I know.
Now I’m going back and questioning majority of what was had from newly informed perspectives and though so many dots and connections have already been found and have made so many things make actual sense now as opposed to being odd or out of place as it had appeared at the time..
..but even just a week of being here reading through others admissions of whatever they are discussing and relating to at the time has helped recognize so many other things and brought so much more comfort and ease in a bit of an unstable time for me.
No, I don’t think comparison is good.. but I want to hear just the same, it’s sometimes been others perception of things that has taken my world from a tangled mess into a peaceful symphony, without ever speaking a word to me. Understanding and learning is something I’m always driven to.. but what’s not shown, expressed or said cannot be learned as easily without some recognition to and this site is disabling to try to navigate more than what’s been of recent discussion.
Searching here I’ve found is fairly complex to get any result and I’m constantly questioning posting anything I want to ask or inquire about because I can’t yet see whether it’s already been addressed in the same manner already.
And to add.. I can’t math numbers in my head.. I can use a calculator, can work it out on paper, both a bit slower as well as quicker than the -average- person, and yes do use my hands often, and this is coming from someone who uses math almost all day long, calculating radius and diameter, angles of inclination, scaling sizes down or up proportionately, tallying materials, other costs, appropriate timeline, etc etc..
But I have trouble remembering formula’s and have to have certain ones written down to avoid having to re-learn continually, same as electrical voltage, resistances and other aspects of circuitry, just can’t even seem to remember the knowledge learned and have to do a quick refresher and brush up my knowledge every time it’s needed yet used to design circuits and other electronics with ease in my youth.
My point is, I still can’t always define what it is about me or my daughter that is autistic aside from problems and discrepancies that arise, to us we are both absolutely normal yet definitely not average it would seem. Seeing these comparisons outside of my own viewpoint has helped me cater better to our challenges, and even recognize a few things that could be attributing to.. and even my wife hearing some others views that I’ve mentioned has helped her understand better.
The community is a huge help, even if just talking to one another. You are right, comparing to another is never helpful as we are simply nowhere near the same as each other even though we still somewhat are or are more than others.. but I still want to keep seeing and reading all these relatable excerpts from the lives of all these wondrous people here.
