• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Communal Seating

The noise can get me too.

We sat near the counter the other day and I had to hold my hands over my little girls ears and close down her vision with a smartphone.

We can tell a meltdown is close now, and she was about to unload on her sister.

It just makes me start to shutdown,, and the muddled conversation noise and clanking baristas is too much of an assault.
 
When I visited a friend that lives in Burlington VT, we went to a place that had communal seating. He loved the place, but it really bothered me sitting with strangers, especially from another state. I see WHY they chose to do it, because Burlington is very community oriented, but I wouldn't go back there because it was too overwhelming for me.
 
I kind of like communal seating because it's like me and the other people are becoming a family for a little while. Sometimes cute families with little kids sit near me and I get to listen in on them and smile. I love the conversations between a small child and their parent - the way the parents try to teach the kids things such as to stay away from the edge of the subway platform.

One time a little boy asked his mom this in these exact words: "What would it look if I had no skin? Bones?" She didn't respond because she didn't really pay attention to him or she doesn't speak English (they were obviously immigrants and maybe the child goes to school here).
 
Yeah... Not a chance I would eat somewhere with communal seating. Waiting at the doctors or having to sit next to someone on the train is bad enough, without the added anxiety caused by some random being close enough for you to hear them chew.
 
Oh my - that would be torture and I would immediately want to leave! I despise forced socialization with strangers. I can't imagine why people would find this enjoyable. After all, when going out to dinner or for coffee, don't people want to talk to the people they came with and have conversations with them? It would be awkward sitting with strangers - I would be constantly wondering if I should be interacting with them and second guessing myself.
 
Communal sitting is sure not for me. If I went into such an establishment, I'd order take-out or take a hike and take my business elsewhere. I am a substitute teacher's aide working in elementary schools. I don't eat in the breakroom with the staff. I don't usually know most of them and those I do it is on a very casual basis. Even if I knew someone really well, I'd still not break in the breakroom. I always go out to my car for my lunch break for some lone time. I need a break from the noise and mischief, too, that kids are wonderful at making.
 
I join the carry-out team and suggest someone else also picking it up and delivering it to where we are a possible advantage to eliminate our need to intersect such trending settings...
 
I would assume all the tables were for large groups. This would never be a place I could take my kid he requires a booth in the corner, he's always up and down and moving around, standing on the chair, checking out everything around him. I could see this being frequented by highschoolers and college students mostly.

The tables to eat at the comic expo are set up like this though, it's a bit weird but it makes sense there, the whole place is so packed it's not like there is any room for private tables.
 
Interesting post! I feel the same way on a train, sitting across strangers. Feels kinda like a blind date.
 
YES I'm so glad others here feel the same way. So many restaurants / cafes here in the UK have this weird communal seating thing at the moment. Even McDonald's is in on it now! I avoid sitting there whenever I can - and if I have to I'll sit far away from people and shut myself off with headphones/phone/etc. I just don't see why it's so popular - can other people really not mind sitting with strangers?? That seems so strange to me.
 
Wow you guys! Seems i struck a chord. I was thinking it was simply a quirk of mine.

It's not just the noise...it's not just the forced proximity to strangers... not just the irritation of hearing strangers eating noises and inane conversations or inadvertant touching and bumping you ...but also the weird social but non-social aspect of it all.
 
Prefer my cooking and my coffee to eating out. Food issues have been a problem. Sometimes going out cannot be avoided as in a work lunch or a friend just wants and needs to go out. I hate Japanese steak houses, Korean BBQ and simulated Viking meat fests. All with sitting and eating with strangers. Oh yuck. And then the anxiety about food handling and quality.

My favorite place to get food is to take my own utensils and buy food at the grocery store. I ate cottage cheese and apples for dinner in my motel room on a few company trips. I had to eat lunch with the others and I ate very little.

Hubby and I differ on the restaurant issue. He knows I can eat the same food every day. He likes variety. So he goes out with his brother. He accepts that I do not like most restaurants but I do not really think he gets why.

Since I wasn't diagnosed as a kid with autism, I only recently figured out that my digestion issues and food issues were probably due to autism. I worked in one place with other engineers that probably about half of us had some degree of autism. No one wanted to go out to eat and we generally ate in our cubes and offices.

The only time to go out and eat, in my opinion, is when you do need to be social with others and then it may be better to take them to a restaurant rather than my home.
 
Its something i dont like much. If a few children or people talking on a phone sat near me id have to move off. Ive got off buses a few stops before my stop due to screeching kids or the loud person on the phone telling the whole bus how their diabetes is.
 
France is norteous for cold bar/tabacs and especially when you come from a land, where they have pubs that are amazing, with rich wood and old world authenticity, which I yearn for.

I could not even go to an ordinary area by myself; social anxiety halts that.
 
It's called a drive up window... If they don't have one, and I am by myself I go somewhere else...
I will go into these places if some of my work buddies are with me, but not often.
Or better yet I just take good wholesome food and drink with me and go sit out on the pier, or where ever.
I don't like communal anything including bathrooms... I think its called vapor lock and its gross! : )
 
France is norteous for cold bar/tabacs and especially when you come from a land, where they have pubs that are amazing, with rich wood and old world authenticity, which I yearn for.

I could not even go to an ordinary area by myself; social anxiety halts that.
I hear you.

Australian pubs are usually soulless concern boxes, or at least the ones around here are.

I really miss UK pubs. I've just imported a beer hand pump and fitted it in my garage.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom