Ok so that's alot to unpack. I would sheldon cooper it and be even more wierd.
So am going to call that type of abuse/love/?[ it's ok to be confused about that]
Yo Yo lil Sl**ch B**ch please help me.
Safety Plan time, please,please,please. You need to get some more distance in your relationship. Preferably 1200miles or so. It's just not ok to have violence in your life. If you want to support some one it should be a medical student who is all tanned and yummy. Or an amazing artist, who has thier own money and is great in bed.
So safety plan step one
Yo Yo *****
Aka
Covert manipulative narcissist.
Drama queen in blue Jean's
Please Help me??!!
And don't forget
But I love you baby
Anyways
Love dont do it like that. Really.
Stay cliqued up all the time.
Never be alone. I know that sucks but that's step one. No Solo
Here's why:
It's basically spellcraft. You have been enscorceled, perhaps by a man you have totally underestimated, the whole damn time. That type of magic is nullified in the presence of
A Group of Discerning Women
Step two
This part sucks even more than the first part. Generate Documentation, so you can
Rat Him Out In Court
It's really like that now. It's not your fault.
Start a new journal if you dont have one. Include dialogue, gestures, intoxication, property damages, threats of violence,
Times, dates, witnesses, issues
You may not need it, but write it all down anyways and have someone else hold the paper for you.
Leave and stay elsewhere
At least get It set up. So you have somewhere else to go, that he doesnt know about.
Communicate your fears
Tell real life people or forum people or social workers or crisis line ppl what is going on, and how it makes you feel.
Make Contact with the Resistance
There is likely a domestic violence shelter, or CASA office, or a SANE nurse, or one of the Ladies at the Clinic, or a Church Lady. Look for rape crisis line. Or domestic violence support. Just call one of them, and say you need to talk.
Find them soon. There is a Mighty Mighty way in the women's movement these days. Try the United Way, they often have connections. You may not need to go hide out in a shelter for a while, but those folks are the missing element. They teach people like you good things.
Dont be ashamed.
Once you establish a circle of right thinking women, they will help you dislodge the leach, and recover your dignity. Think of it like trying to pull a tick of of your own back. It's best to have help.
It's all too harsh what I said. Profane even. Anyways. Shame keeps secrets, a warrior is not ashamed. The secret is someone else's weight. It's a trick, you didnt report the abuse, so now your submissive self assumes blame, like you participated in your own injury. That's a front!!!!
[ that the abuser deliberately instills in you.]
The yo yo biscuit is a common theme in abuse. They go. They wait. They manipulate. Wheedle and cajole. You still love the guy, inside, or you want to. They have you convinced that you are way way less than. They come back. They act nice. Things start slipping sideways. More abuse. If it seems like its rhythmic it's because it is, like beating a drum. Legacy of Abuse, què no?
You are not in any way, shape or form, nor by any worthy measure "less than". Or good enough. Or kinda ok. You are amazing and beautiful and generous and compassionate and a fine human person. Hands holding hands holding hands.
