Confused when I don't feel what I think I should feel...

[Bella Pines]

Because you are amazing. I've always said that aspies make a choice to be good people. With a logical disposition and lack of empathy, we can be anything from Nobel prize winners to serial killers. Everything we do is a conscious choice and you choosing not to gloat and not taking pleasure in someone elses demise is a step on a good path and will ripple out. The ripples will make the world a slightly better place for it. I think this is a really good thing.

 

[wight]

@Chance, you are right, he just had to "get his revenge" or whatever. Upsetting, to be sure to be publicly blasted and "outed". Though I would point out that the board has known you for years, they are pretty aware of your personality and ... lets call them "eccentricities"... relative to your ASD. I doubt his rant is really going to change anyone's opinion of you, it doesn't change your accomplishments or history with the company.

Maybe, maybe the only fallout you would face is someone asking you to talk about your ASD ... I don't know, a board member asking you to answer any particular questions they have? Otherwise, I don't see any major problems coming your way from this.

Mostly it's just hurtful and mean, what he did.

 

[Chance]

Silence is golden.

I haven't said anything about it... I want to lash out, but I cant begin to out think, or out wit this guy.
I just want to move past this and go on with life... I hope he goes on with his life very soon and stops this type of behavior.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

we can be anything from Nobel prize winners to serial killers. E

Create career arc!

 

[Chance]

I am looking very forward to no longer having to deal with this person.
I am starting to feel the weight of his constant pressure lift. At least him not present and being so bold is a break from what had become pretty normal.

This has been a very stressful week and some very uncomfortable things took place. To release someone, or to even have someone quit is a very rare event where I work. That is not something that normally goes on where I work... Thank Goodness.

I have given this person my best wishes, and I truly hope he finds what he needs to navigate LIFE.
It seems he is wanting to display his bitterness and resentment, and he feels justified in doing so.
I will not play his games (sadly I simply cant play at his level). He will do want he wants no matter what I ask, so if that feeds him satisfaction, that alone displays the character deep within him.

I will be glad when he is tired of spewing his opinions and venting about peoples personal battles. Maybe he will find a need to look for employment this next week and not have so much time to spew his bitterness in the coming days.

I was confronted today about some of the stuff he has put out in public about me. It was very uncomfortable but all I know to do is be honest and then see the confusion on their face.

Gosh I thought it was bad with him here... Now that he is free he is really showing his true colors and some of that is very hurtful and aimed at me... Its just how it goes when I am paid to solve a companies problems. Its part of my job, but not an easy part at all. : )

 

[Dorkasour]

He shared info about you after he left? That's cruel of him. I am happy he no longer works for you.

I bet the confrontation was really hard to handle. I hate being confronted at work.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Is he an actual danger risk? Like a disgruntled employee who could come back and shoot the place up? I surely hope that's not a possibility.

 

[Chance]

Is he an actual danger risk? Like a disgruntled employee who could come back and shoot the place up? I surely hope that's not a possibility.

I don't think he is that kind of person. He uses his great ability to communicate his opinions as his "gun" so to speak. He's an NT, but also very extroverted and out spoken. So... Its like I am a cheap target. Its nothing new really. Some people I guess feel big when they try and crush other people, PLUS he is trying to take the facts of what cost him his job and cover them up in redirecting the narrative to something that takes the heat off him. I guess it is his way of dealing with it, instead of doing what we do everyday and facing our problems.

I only know I would never want to trade places with him. He has to live a total lie 24/7 and I feel sad for him because his addiction has become his only way to survive right now. I truly hope he decides to seek help. He has had to go into rehab before for drugs and alcohol addiction. So its not like other people don't know he has issues, he just dont want them front and centre if he can keep from it, it seems. : )

 

[Chance]

A little update to end what was trying to be a really great day...

The day was about over I got lots of stuff done I was kind of proud of what I was achieving. I was feeling good and noticing the right thing had been done.

I was approached by the mother in law of the guy I was forced to release. She asked if she could talk to me... I said, "Yes?" She began telling this story about how I have been really harassing (the person let go)... He had been telling his wife (her daughter) that I am lost without him. I constantly call and ask him questions about systems functions and I was in a mess and it seems like maybe they fired the wrong guy...

Well this set off a chain reaction and some people are voicing their opinions by "believing" what this person is saying which is 100% untrue... Wow, I knew he would find away and I knew I could never begin to figure out what he might come up with...

I DESIGNED the systems and remodeled the old systems... There is NOTHING I don't know on that 800 acre nightmare. I have lived it sometimes 20 hours a day for 8 years. He worked there nearly 3 and he is mow some sort of "god" that cant be lived without... I think I just want to go puke at this point.

He more dangerous gone than he was here... I just pray he finds a job soon and finds something to take up this free time he has to demonize me, demean me, and publicly try to crush me.

I had NO CHOICE but to fire him... I would lose my job if I denied what I was told to do. My boss was there first thing to make sure this took place! So he could report back to the Board of Directors that I carried out what they unanimously voted had to happen. I guess there always has to be a scapegoat. I play that part way to well sometimes. I see no point in saying anything, just let it be because people are going to believe what they want anyway.

Anyway AS PROOF... I never said a word. I took my phone out unlocked it and instantly opened recent calls page and handed this lady my phone... She looked shocked! I said, "Please look!" She did and handed me back my phone... I instantly opened up my texts messages TO HIM and handed the phone back to her. She looked shocked once more... I said, "please look." She did and handed my phone back to me and told me she was sorry... She was very upset when she left BUT one person knows the truth and there was proof of it. I haven't spoken to him in any way since the he was released... I haven't spoken to him or a negative word about him to anyone period... I hope she noticed I had 2 outgoing calls in a whole week. One to my boss, and one to our office manger... Thats it! I told you I don't talk much...

Will it matter that this lady saw this? Probably not, but one lady KNOWS the truth...
What she does with that TRUTH is up to her... She left with what I would call a very humble reaction. As sucky as my emotions are... I could tell she was about to rip me to shreds. Thankfully that never happened.

Somehow technology was my friend today, and it showed I was not on the digital porch I had been accused of being on... So you know what... In some small way, it was still a good day, and a good week.

Thats for letting me rant my stuff out... : )

 

[Fitzo]

A little update to end what was trying to be a really great day...

The day was about over I got lots of stuff done I was kind of proud of what I was achieving. I was feeling good and noticing the right thing had been done.

I was approached by the mother in law of the guy I was forced to release. She asked if she could talk to me... I said, "Yes?" She began telling this story about how I have been really harassing (the person let go)... He had been telling his wife (her daughter) that I am lost without him. I constantly call and ask him questions about systems functions and I was in a mess and it seems like maybe they fired the wrong guy...

Well this set off a chain reaction and some people are voicing their opinions by "believing" what this person is saying which is 100% untrue... Wow, I knew he would find away and I knew I could never begin to figure out what he might come up with...

I DESIGNED the systems and remodeled the old systems... There is NOTHING I don't know on that 800 acre nightmare. I have lived it sometimes 20 hours a day for 8 years. He worked there nearly 3 and he is mow some sort of "god" that cant be lived without... I think I just want to go puke at this point.

He more dangerous gone than he was here... I just pray he finds a job soon and finds something to take up this free time he has to demonize me, demean me, and publicly try to crush me.

I had NO CHOICE but to fire him... I would lose my job if I denied what I was told to do. My boss was there first thing to make sure this took place! So he could report back to the Board of Directors that I carried out what they unanimously voted had to happen. I guess there always has to be a scapegoat. I play that part way to well sometimes. I see no point in saying anything, just let it be because people are going to believe what they want anyway.

Anyway AS PROOF... I never said a word. I took my phone out unlocked it and instantly opened recent calls page and handed this lady my phone... She looked shocked! I said, "Please look!" She did and handed me back my phone... I instantly opened up my texts messages TO HIM and handed the phone back to her. She looked shocked once more... I said, "please look." She did and handed my phone back to me and told me she was sorry... She was very upset when she left BUT one person knows the truth and there was proof of it. I haven't spoken to him in any way since the he was released... I haven't spoken to him or a negative word about him to anyone period... I hope she noticed I had 2 outgoing calls in a whole week. One to my boss, and one to our office manger... Thats it! I told you I don't talk much...

Will it matter that this lady saw this? Probably not, but one lady KNOWS the truth...
What she does with that TRUTH is up to her... She left with what I would call a very humble reaction. As sucky as my emotions are... I could tell she was about to rip me to shreds. Thankfully that never happened.

Somehow technology was my friend today, and it showed I was not on the digital porch I had been accused of being on... So you know what... In some small way, it was still a good day, and a good week.

Thats for letting me rant my stuff out... : )

Well done Chance! Thank god for technology!
If this woman is his MIL and she knows he was lying that might be enough to shut him up.
I truly hope that was the end of this harassment!
Just in case it isn't though maybe you should let someone know?

 

[wight]

My boss was there first thing to make sure this took place! So he could report back to the Board of Directors that I carried out what they unanimously voted had to happen.

These are the only people that matter, or even get an opinion. Everyone else can go pound sand.

I know, @Chance, this is easier said than done. We work hard to be respectable and respected people and something like this tears that down and makes us feel ******. I think you are handling it very well.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

A little update to end what was trying to be a really great day...

The day was about over I got lots of stuff done I was kind of proud of what I was achieving. I was feeling good and noticing the right thing had been done.

I was approached by the mother in law of the guy I was forced to release. She asked if she could talk to me... I said, "Yes?" She began telling this story about how I have been really harassing (the person let go)... He had been telling his wife (her daughter) that I am lost without him. I constantly call and ask him questions about systems functions and I was in a mess and it seems like maybe they fired the wrong guy...

Well this set off a chain reaction and some people are voicing their opinions by "believing" what this person is saying which is 100% untrue... Wow, I knew he would find away and I knew I could never begin to figure out what he might come up with...

I DESIGNED the systems and remodeled the old systems... There is NOTHING I don't know on that 800 acre nightmare. I have lived it sometimes 20 hours a day for 8 years. He worked there nearly 3 and he is mow some sort of "god" that cant be lived without... I think I just want to go puke at this point.

He more dangerous gone than he was here... I just pray he finds a job soon and finds something to take up this free time he has to demonize me, demean me, and publicly try to crush me.

I had NO CHOICE but to fire him... I would lose my job if I denied what I was told to do. My boss was there first thing to make sure this took place! So he could report back to the Board of Directors that I carried out what they unanimously voted had to happen. I guess there always has to be a scapegoat. I play that part way to well sometimes. I see no point in saying anything, just let it be because people are going to believe what they want anyway.

Anyway AS PROOF... I never said a word. I took my phone out unlocked it and instantly opened recent calls page and handed this lady my phone... She looked shocked! I said, "Please look!" She did and handed me back my phone... I instantly opened up my texts messages TO HIM and handed the phone back to her. She looked shocked once more... I said, "please look." She did and handed my phone back to me and told me she was sorry... She was very upset when she left BUT one person knows the truth and there was proof of it. I haven't spoken to him in any way since the he was released... I haven't spoken to him or a negative word about him to anyone period... I hope she noticed I had 2 outgoing calls in a whole week. One to my boss, and one to our office manger... Thats it! I told you I don't talk much...

Will it matter that this lady saw this? Probably not, but one lady KNOWS the truth...
What she does with that TRUTH is up to her... She left with what I would call a very humble reaction. As sucky as my emotions are... I could tell she was about to rip me to shreds. Thankfully that never happened.

Somehow technology was my friend today, and it showed I was not on the digital porch I had been accused of being on... So you know what... In some small way, it was still a good day, and a good week.

Thats for letting me rant my stuff out... : )

I think what we have is a weak man and a manipulator trying to save face.
Sometimes the manipulators are also abusers.
They find other weak people to dominate.
Their weakness and outward mamipulation/abuse is a good way for them to avoid the truth about themselves.
Are the people around them going to say anything to his face?
Heck no.
What will happen is what you did will spread out like a dropped stone in the center of a lake...
The people will talk behind his back
And by the ti e everyone knows
The mother in law will mention it, witj the wife present.

And the ripples of your stone will reach the edges.


Now, pretend you are someone else for a second..
Re read your post.
Think about how exceptional you would think it was
If it was someone was telling you they did that.

You did it.

Now don't get carried away you've got a golf course to sort out..
And I was talking to this guy who said you were hopeless....

 

[LucyPurrs]

I think what we have is a weak man and a manipulator trying to save face.
Sometimes the manipulators are also abusers.
They find other weak people to dominate.
Their weakness and outward mamipulation/abuse is a good way for them to avoid the truth about themselves.
Are the people around them going to say anything to his face?
Heck no.
What will happen is what you did will spread out like a dropped stone in the center of a lake...
The people will talk behind his back
And by the ti e everyone knows
The mother in law will mention it, witj the wife present.

And the ripples of your stone will reach the edges.


Now, pretend you are someone else for a second..
Re read your post.
Think about how exceptional you would think it was
If it was someone was telling you they did that.

You did it.

Now don't get carried away you've got a golf course to sort out..
And I was talking to this guy who said you were hopeless....

Wow Fridge, you really nailed it, a totally admirable response.