Connection

[Judge]

The curse of masking. Where you maintain it all through ambiguity and superficiality.

Which in itself I'm inclined to think is contrary to our autistic nature.

 

[daniegirl6224]

Yes, it is impossible to connect when you are masking. But being rejected over and over you become too depressed and at some point just mask to be accepted.

Thank you, i doubt there are people who would be okay with an autistic friend or spouse where i live. I wish there were irl communities for autistic people everywhere.

I wish so too!!!

 

[Neri]

Yes, it is impossible to connect when you are masking. But being rejected over and over you become too depressed and at some point just mask to be accepted.

Thank you, i doubt there are people who would be okay with an autistic friend or spouse where i live. I wish there were irl communities for autistic people everywhere.

It's such a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation that I find it better to maintain my solitude to maintain my dignity.
At this point, I have even had the disability org. that I was given funding to employ, treat me like a social pariah. So I'm on the path to employ people from an Autism friendly org., it's an all women, all neurodivergent, (advertised as such) org.

 

[AprilR]

It's such a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation that I find it better to maintain my solitude to maintain my dignity.
At this point, I have even had the disability org. that I was given funding to employ, treat me like a social pariah. So I'm on the path to employ people from an Autism friendly org., it's an all women, all neurodivergent, (advertised as such) org.

That is amazing!

One of my dreams is to actually" build" a local autism community also, but i am not sure how to go about it. But just thinking about it makes me happy and hopeful for the future

 

[Neri]

That is amazing!

One of my dreams is to actually" build" a local autism community also, but i am not sure how to go about it. But just thinking about it makes me happy and hopeful for the future

I know right? I'm excited. One of the women is going to call me at 9 tomorrow. They are all reasonably young AuDHDers, I'm pretty sure. I'll link you to their website.

 

[Neri]

This is them.
Support Coordination — Independent Support Coordination

 

[Neri]

I know right? I'm excited. One of the women is going to call me at 9 tomorrow. They are all reasonably young AuDHDers, I'm pretty sure. I'll link you to their website.

Actually that is not who's calling me, it's another org. I reached out to, but, I'm hoping I can get the neurodivergent ladies.

 

[daniegirl6224]

The curse of masking. Where you maintain it all through ambiguity and superficiality.

Which in itself I'm inclined to think is contrary to our autistic nature.

Yes this!!! I am all about being real and authentic, but I subconsciously mask all the time it goes against who I am at my core

 

[daniegirl6224]

@Neri & @AprilR, I love that you two are starting your own autistic communities

 

[Neri]

@Neri & @AprilR, I love that you two are starting your own autistic communities

I love that that's how you see what we are doing.

 

[Masked Man]

In my admittedly limited life experience, the ones I connected with the most were the ones who had similar life experiences and were managing them in much the same ways. I can't connect with someone who, for example, grew up in a well-to-do family whose parents did not ever worry about money. My own parents were solidly lower middle class and I am the first to attend and graduate from college. As a result of that upbringing, I have generalized anxiety disorder, I fret about money, and have a certain amount of food anxiety - I also have a very dark, morbid, sense of humor that a lot of people don't get. My parents were almost always unhappy and that affected me growing up. Most of the people at my work come from different, more elevated, backgrounds than me so, although I get along well enough with them, we are not ever going to be close because we have no real connection with each other.

My closest friend is someone I did not grow up with, but our life experiences were very similar, and so we have similar outlooks on life. I don't share that with many others.

 

[vergil96]

I wish I knew why I connect with some people and not with others. Maybe it's not measurable why, you "vibe" with some people ans not with others. I feel like similarity has a lot to do with it, whether the topics to talk about together are interesting, exciting in some way, but might also be a shared problem, struggle - either way there have to be emotions.

I second that interpersonal skills play a role, such as the ability to be a good listener and be nice.