Constantly being put down

[maycontainthunder]

Dog V4 sends you a hug @Owliet

 

[Matthias]

I’m sorry that you have a similar situation.

You don’t really understand how much words can affect someone do you? When I posted this it was one issue which was pretty minimal although in the state that I was in it felt like it was happening all the time when it wasn’t really attached to underlining issues that became too much.

I thought this forum was a safe space for people to post and support each other and it’s not like I post and whine about everything going on but I’m wrong because you seem to think things ABout me that you don’t even have any interactions with prior and yet to you all of this is 190% correct and everyone is out to get me because I’m a terrible person and they all say so and I need to work to be better ?

Your “helpful” /sarcasm advice at the time was not. You made it worse because I was already in a bad place with thought and insecurities and a ton of other things, I actively stopped posting on here after your “help” because I thought you were right. You pushed me because I was already feeling very low and depressed and I self harmed as a means to vent. So thanks a lot for that. It made me feel more isolated and desperate and destroyed than I was.

Because a lot has happened this year already that has been difficult I’m now seeing my psychiatrist more regularly,so I am getting Real support. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety with a breakdown so maybe that’s minor for you but Im trying to help myself out of this.

because you were so eager to make assumptions a blunt explanation for you since you like directness: My family life is very complicated and difficult even without me having ASD in the mix. I’ve had to take a ton of responsibilities for a terminally ill parent who has gotten sicker every single year since I was old enough to do it (that’s 11 years old), and we get told that it’s end game now a,though the doctors will give her another operation soon to see if that can help prolong. everytime she goes to the apotheke we come out with a big bag of medication. I have to lift her up now and she’s so light because she weighs 43 kg and isn’t putting weight on. I am the one who is expected to always help her out and I do it all the time without complaint because she’s my mom but it WouLd be nice to have additional support especially when she collapses on the floor. roll that in with a strange and unhealthy family dynamic Because my pysch also sees my mom to help her at this time but also to help me deal with it because I’m not dealing with it well and believes that she has a disorder which makes a ton of sense because it’s not fully pleasant to live in regardless but she is still my mom, but apparently according to you these are minor things. I wish I could have minor things to worry about. i would love to complain about not being looked at correctly, laughed at or wanting a GF. id even love to complain about the weather. My life is often on hold because of all of this and I wish I could be selfish at times like my sibling and go “nope im off to go do this instead”. I had a job that took me out of this except for holidays and now I’ve lost that (I was not fired, I got really nice references actually that said a ton of positive things)but that is an additional issue.

I’m not a terrible person. I may have my moments but I can see that I’m a better person than I think I am otherwise I would drop all the responsibilities and be everything that you say and more.

I feel bad that you harmed yourself after reading my words although I think your negative beliefs about yourself may have resulted in you interpreting my words more negatively than I intended.

Do I think you're a terrible person and that everyone is out to get you because it? No. I think everyone has flaws because no one is perfect and that it's natural for people to point them and offer advice to help you become the best person you can be.

I have a practical mind that likes to focus on solutions to problems that can be fixed. When I'm having difficulty with people, I know I can't change them so I think about what I can do to improve the situation. I never meant to imply the problems you have with your family are your fault or that they are minor things.

I probably should have been more understanding and empathized with your situation but empathy is something I've never really been good at but I will try to do better in the future.

 

[Thinx]

It's awesome that you can do this. How strong and brave you are. I know I could not do this. So sorry for how unwell your mum is and has been, all these years. You need help and time for yourself too. I wish your sister and mum appreciated you more but I guess they are in denial. It is indeed a very complex situation, where you are showing up in ways many of us could not. So glad you have got some help, is there any more support you can get?

 

[Owliet]

It's awesome that you can do this. How strong and brave you are. I know I could not do this. So sorry for how unwell your mum is and has been, all these years. You need help and time for yourself too. I wish your sister and mum appreciated you more but I guess they are in denial. It is indeed a very complex situation, where you are showing up in ways many of us could not. So glad you have got some help, is there any more support you can get?

I’m on a waiting list, due next month, to see the autism support that we have in place here. It’s a complex issue overall with a lot going on. It’s not a surprise I had that breakdown but I’m stabilizing, trying, getting support from my psych and will have more support soon. Thank you @Thinx

 

[D'Andre]

It’s only been a few days with being off for the holidays but so far, it seems like my sister feels like it’s acceptable to talk to me like I’m a little kid. This constant condescending attitude is starting to really get to me but then I get gaslighted with the “I’m only talking to you like this because you’re doing this...”, “I’ll stop talking to you like a child if you act like one” and “it’s all in my head” when I have tried to challenge her about it. Funny that it seems like as soon as she’s got a boyfriend that she suddenly becomes all all worldly, and let’s ignore all what she’s put us through before her dating this guy.

Today, I was talking and both mom and her ignored me, then because I made the comment that I feel like I’m being ignored and that my words don’t matter, I got the “it’s all in my head.” But there was no recognition that either of them were listening to me. She completely blanked me off. since coming back home, she’s also said to me that I am difficult to live with and it was nicer when it was just her and dad because I bring too much stress. She’s also going to an event without me, but didn’t tell me this until these last few days. She only wants to hang out with me when she has no one, and I’m tired of it but it is also a difficult realization that I have no one. I feel like she’s using my ASD to play against me. She’s just horrible.

So, maybe people are right. I’m better off being on my own if I’m difficult to live with. I’m also perceived as a grossly immature loser. After all, family know you best, right?

She sounds toxic. Be careful. You deserve to have fun and be included.

It’s only been a few days with being off for the holidays but so far, it seems like my sister feels like it’s acceptable to talk to me like I’m a little kid. This constant condescending attitude is starting to really get to me but then I get gaslighted with the “I’m only talking to you like this because you’re doing this...”, “I’ll stop talking to you like a child if you act like one” and “it’s all in my head” when I have tried to challenge her about it. Funny that it seems like as soon as she’s got a boyfriend that she suddenly becomes all all worldly, and let’s ignore all what she’s put us through before her dating this guy.

Today, I was talking and both mom and her ignored me, then because I made the comment that I feel like I’m being ignored and that my words don’t matter, I got the “it’s all in my head.” But there was no recognition that either of them were listening to me. She completely blanked me off. since coming back home, she’s also said to me that I am difficult to live with and it was nicer when it was just her and dad because I bring too much stress. She’s also going to an event without me, but didn’t tell me this until these last few days. She only wants to hang out with me when she has no one, and I’m tired of it but it is also a difficult realization that I have no one. I feel like she’s using my ASD to play against me. She’s just horrible.

So, maybe people are right. I’m better off being on my own if I’m difficult to live with. I’m also perceived as a grossly immature loser. After all, family know you best, right?

Yeah family can often hurt you the most by using what they know against you, like you said with gas lighting. You seem cool, sorry this is going on.

 

[MR TV]

You might try reading "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patrica Evans. Learn how to stand up to verbally abusive people!