Dating Corner

[elspeth]

I ask myself do I want to date someone like me. Someone that never smiles and hard to communicate with and does not get joy out of fun things...I would not want to date someone like me

What does bring you joy?

 

[Mia]

This site is helpful in many respects but it does rely on a conceit (the grouping of AS people) that doesn't accurately represent the reality. The reality is one in which people have varying AS traits and they also have unique personalities. Even in an AS-AS relationship, you are dealing with different personalities - not to mention the other conditions people often live with like bipolar, anxiety, PTSD, etc.

No one on this site is alike in this 'grouping of AS people', it's members are people from many countries and cultures at varying places on a spectrum. As well as people with AS, there are people with many co-morbid disorders. More than you list, if there is a conceit here it's mostly on your part. As in judgment of a group of people that you know little about.

 

[elspeth]

No one on this site is alike in this 'grouping of AS people', it's members are people from many countries and cultures at varying places on a spectrum. As well as people with AS, there are people with many co-morbid disorders. More than you list, if there is a conceit here it's mostly on your part. As in judgment of a group of people that you know little about.

I actually wasn't making a critical comment about the site. It was a positive one.

I was saying that it is convenient to speak about Aspies as a group (that is the conceit I was referring to) and then noting what you said that of course, the people here (and in any group of people under the moniker Aspie) are diverse. The same is true of other groupings such as Latino, Jewish or black. Sorry if that didn't come across clearly. And yes, I am new to the site, so no real presumptions.

 

[Mia]

it is convenient to speak about Aspies as a group

It is expedient to group people together, and assign them labels and titles and traits. In that manner they can be classified as this or that. It makes it easy for scientists and the medical profession to ascribe commonalities, yet very often no one actually perfectly fits the criteria.

Interestingly enough, people who come to the site, look for commonalities in behavior and traits so they don't feel so separate or different from others. Others for myriad reasons, and some for a sort of social interaction.

 

[elspeth]

No one on this site is alike in this 'grouping of AS people', it's members are people from many countries and cultures at varying places on a spectrum. As well as people with AS, there are people with many co-morbid disorders. More than you list, if there is a conceit here it's mostly on your part. As in judgment of a group of people that you know little about.

There are five AS folks in my life, each as to be expected quite different. It's helped me to learn more about AS. I am trying to keep a balance in my head between stuff that says broadly "Aspies do this or that"and tends towards grouping and the diversity I see even anobalancbet

It is expedient to group people together, and assign them labels and titles and traits. In that manner they can be classified as this or that. It makes it easy for scientists and the medical profession to ascribe commonalities, yet very often no one actually perfectly fits the criteria.

Interestingly enough, people who come to the site, look for commonalities in behavior and traits so they don't feel so separate or different from others. Others for myriad reasons, and some for a sort of social interaction.

Yes, I agree. I'm on the site because I have five people in my life, I realize who have AS or AS traits. I am trying to figure out how to be a better mother, wife, and friend to them and it's been really helpful in allowing me to understand what's going on with them and even in thinking about my own ADHD.

 

[Inator]

Ok, I didn't give this thread enough relevancy before, but thanks to a suggestion from my friend Sebastian, I'm leaving this here, because after all "I got nothing to lose", I guess =X


Username: Inator, RainbowKid
Gender: male
Age: 20
Sexuality: Bi, sliiightly not-so teleiophile
Location: Chile
Religion: Is life even "real"?
Politics: I can hardly trust anyone
Philosophy: Be good, and respect everyone no matter how they are and/or where they come, etc. I like to help others if I believe I can. I love everyone! and I think everyone should!, unless someone rude needs its deserved, for which I would even develop an evil, cruel and twisted revenge plan if deemed necessary. With special persistence if is a fair cause.
Obsessions/Interests: Visual works, creativity. Currently in two videogame projects, as gameplay planner, scriptwriter, programmer and pixel artist. Years ago I worked in a short film for school, as cameraman (when I just begun studying actual photography), and visual effects artist in post-production.
Desired Partner Characteristics: High mutual complicity and care. "Free" thinking, no matter how weird turns to be. I don't mind if my partner self-believes it's mad (I don't know how to word that better). Which means it should accept that my feelings are probably stronger compared to other men (of course I'd equally respect yours), and feel free to be erotical. I want to Play with my partner, but I want it play to win. Free to have fun, doesn't matter if moment turns childish, actually it's even better if gets fantasious =3
Self-Description: I'm an officially mad person, and a visual thinker. I'm capable of acting adult-like, but secretly, deep inside I still feel like a child. I really hate to keep things to myself, especially the information and works, otherwise I'd feel I'm being unfair. I have a natural sense of logical thinking, but to many people's shock, I generally end solving the problems through imagination, in odd or unexpected ways at times.
I'm sometimes emotionally-driven, and I fantasize a lot, all day. And I get very emotioned at the simplest things. And I'd like to freely share what I feel, which wouldn't be acceptable through social talk, so I do through my games, drawings or scriptwritings.
I believe I'd take the romantisism way too far, and I fear I could get "boring" at some point. But I really want to have a good time.

Spoiler

"I'm 13 years old!"

.. but I don't drop basic responsabilities lol. If we moved alone, I believe house's order should be a mutual task. I don't think it's any fair to leave that to the partner only, I want to give respect

 

[@liamod]

Username: @liamod (Wish it was Droidology though!)
Gender: Male
Age: 14 (turning 15 soon)
Sexuality: attracted to the opposite sex
Religion: Purely aethiest
Politics: Anyone that cares about people with disabilities and doesn't let religion get in the way of their decisions
Philosophy: It is better to be ugly, as you know that the person that loves you loves you for who you are rather than for your looks
Obsessions/Interests: Science, Space, Star Wars, Robotics, Blogging, Writing, Social Media, Twitter, YT, Minecraft, Hermitcraft, Gaming
Ideals in a partner: caring (I don't care about the physical aspect, apart from age), understanding about the aspie in me, sciency, interested in Star Wars at least a bit, as well as gaming
About me: I'm 14, I want to become a scientist and have a not-for-profit organisation trying to build "companion droids" for people with Autism. I love gaming and upload gaming videos 2 youtube, and get bullied at school.

-Limo

 

[dhl02]

Username: dhl02
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Location: Greater Chicago Area
Religion: Agnostic strongly leaning Atheist
Politics: Left Libertarian
Philosophy: Resources are not a zero sum game. if you make the pie bigger, everyone gets more pie; Treat others BETTER than you'd want to be treated
Obsessions/Interests: Science/Astronomy, Outdoors/Fishing/Camping/Hiking/Boating, Sports/Baseball/Hockey/American Football/Golf, Games/Chess/Video Gaming(not gambling-I despise that) Music and Languages
Desired Partner Characteristics: I'm looking for someone open minded with a decent sense of humor. Someone who is physically active and would like to help me become so. Must like Sports, the outdoors(camping) and music(preferably alt-rock and/or classic rock)
I'd like someone who is affectionate, likes touching/kissing and sex(when the time is right in the hypothetical relationship) No Smoking. Tattoos/piercings ok.
Self-Description: I'm a super open minded guy. I've always wanted to be outside doing things and be physically active, but have had physical issues get in the way. I am a huge sports fan, and amateur astronomer. (I have 5 telescopes lol) I'm pretty funny, and love to use puns. I have a dirty, dark sense of humor so I hope that whoever responds to this has the same taste in humor. I'm open to dating bi women who lean straight.

 

[Shiznown]

Hey dude, I'm not a woman obviously lol. However, I just wanted to say goodluck! It must be tough being a Libertarian in Chicago.

 

[dhl02]

Hey dude, I'm not a woman obviously lol. However, I just wanted to say goodluck! It must be tough being a Libertarian in Chicago.

I am a leftist libertarian, which means I am economically democratic socialist but socially libertarian. It is a very hard concept to grasp, I know. Most people would call me progressive, but I have other ideas that are not in that category. Also, the closer you get to the city, the bluer the area gets. Most of the suburbs are very red, if you get the gist of what I mean

 

[FromEquestria2LA]

Username: FromEquestria2LA
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Location: Seattle area, but hoping for Los Angeles (someday...)
Sexuality: Straight as can be.
Religion: Agnostic.
Politics: Anyone that cares about people with disabilities and doesn't let religion get in the way of their decisions
Philosophy: "Never give up on your dream, no matter what your age."
Obsessions/Interests: Retro gaming (NES, SNES, N64, those things), 1970s/80s/90s things (music, especially), anime/manga, sports, game shows, comedy, computers
Ideals in a partner: Caring, understanding about who I am, and someone who's nice overall.
About me: I am 30, and taking IT classes, as I am the kind of person who's finally found what his calling is; I love a lot of things (which you can see in the obsessions/interests thing), and am a very upbeat person, and all I want to do is be a beacon of hope in spite of how the world can be sometimes. It's really who I am.

Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet - This link is a pic of me.

 

[TomPN]

Username: TomPN
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Location: Wakefield, UK
Religion: Never really thought about it. Guess I would say I'm agnostic, if pressed.
Politics: All a bunch of loonies.
Philosophy: Would rather be happy than right. 42.
Obsessions/Interests: Reading (especially fantasy), TV (DVDs, not actual tv), Minecraft, Kerbal Space Program, stargazing, programming, wikihow. Trying to write some stories, not going too well.
Desired Partner Characteristics: Someone who is patient, funny, and hopefully a bit of a nerd.
Self-Description: Big fan of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Interested in programming and maths and science stuff. Quite nerdy; got lots of sci-fi and fantasy tv series and movies on DVD. Tall (6'4"). Like Chinese and Indian food, and pizza. Like going out walking and seeing the scenery.

 

[Mr Allen]

I'd love to go on a date, even at my age! I've had matches on Tinder, but the whole online dating thing is super scary, I'm aware of the "dangers" of meeting strangers off the 'Net in the real world.

Nearest thing I ever had to a date was when I took my ex from School to the Odeon in 1989, aged about 13, can't even remember what we saw so it cant've been that good

 

[aneczyk]

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Username: aneczyk
Gender: nonbinary fem-aligned
Age: 19
Sexuality: bisexual with a preference for women
Location: metro Detroit
Religion: eclectic Hellenic Revivalist
Politics: antifa, socialist, leftist
Philosophy: don't really have one
Obsessions/Interests: writing, art, history, anthropology, religion, sociology, feminism, cooking, politics
Desired Partner Characteristics: preferably a woman or fem aligned nb person but if I like you I'm open to anyone, 18-22 years old. I'm attracted to all gender expressions but have a slight preference for feminine women. Similar values and politics as me. Generous, patient, and kind. Good sense of humor.
Self-Description: 5'5", ~150 pounds. Broad shoulders with a decent amount of muscle on my arms and legs. Short hair, thick, wavy, shaved on the back and sides, naturally dishwater blond but it has red highlights. Pale blue-gray eyes with glasses and eyelashes that are long and thick enough to make people think I'm wearing mascara when I'm not. Chubby but not really fat. More on the "masculine" side when it comes to gender expression, looks kind of hipster-ish. I've been told that I'm sweet and I'm probably the mom friend.

 

[aneczyk]

also i have selfies in my album. you can see them if I follow you

 

[Haos51]

Username: Haos51
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Location: Vermont during college time, Mass when I'm not at college
Religion: Technically speaking I'm catholic, but I'm not very religious
Politics: Undecided
Philosophy: Treat people how you wish to be treated, keep an open mind no matter how much you think you know, and always try to do the right thing.
Obsessions/Interests: I loved video games and story telling to death. I could spend hours telling stories about characters or playing games if anyone was interested.
Desired Partner Characteristics: I want someone who can understand me, be able to help me make senses of things in life. I promise to do the same for said partner
Self-Description: I've been called eccentric at times due to how theatrical I can get sometimes. Whenever I'm not talking I tend to be rather stoic and self reflective. I always try to make people happy so I often come up with terrible jokes and try to think up of one whenever I feel like someone is a bit too sad. Seeing smiles and making a difference in people's lives is something I hope to do. I also have a rather creative mind, in fact in December a friend and I have a book coming out detailing one of many stories that we have created over the years. I have a small diet that I hope to fix in the future but thankfully I'm in good shape, probably because I hate sitting down for long periods even if I'm playing a game. I'm also slightly nervous due to past experiences so it may take me a bit to open up more than I have already.

 

[Ragnahawk]

No longer needed. Canceling request!

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[Insert Image Here]
Username: Ragnahawk
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Location: Fort Bragg, KY
Religion: Christian based, Unconventional
Politics: Independent
Philosophy: Reasonable, Rationable, Non conforming
Obsessions/Interests: Psychology. Video Games. Anime.
Desired Partner Characteristics:
I'm willing to try anything that doesn't force me to pretend.
Self-Description:
Personality Type:
INTP
Appearance:
187 lbs. Hazel Eyes (I guess dreamy eyes? They look cool to me...). Long Eyelashes. Double Crown cowlick (Can't be in between, short or long. Preferred short like high and tight). Widows peak (that crappy little bang on my forehead). Dark Brown Hair. Big forehead. Small nose. Bushy Eyebrows (One eyebrow has a little stub that flairs out). Double chin. Mark on left arm from Neopolian Mastiff. Scar on middle finger from a cat. One fingernail is perpetually split. Attire is typically simple... Not in great physical shape but not fat "fat". (It's not something I can't work on. Very easy fix just have no motivation rn) Hairy legs, and hobbits feet (Just a little bit). Feet aren't ugly to look at but I mean... They are still feet. My appearance is not lanky or short. Kind of just right when it comes to height. I'm not some kind of ogre, like most people would probably assume from my description lol. Just average looking dood. I have good balance, but am physically clumsy. The way I walk stands out. You can guess what you want from that description.

All other details are on wrong planet.

 

[pjcnet]

I'd love to go on a date, even at my age! I've had matches on Tinder, but the whole online dating thing is super scary, I'm aware of the "dangers" of meeting strangers off the 'Net in the real world.

Nearest thing I ever had to a date was when I took my ex from School to the Odeon in 1989, aged about 13, can't even remember what we saw so it cant've been that good

Look for activities and/or groups that you can join, you may or may not meet someone special, but you will probably have a lot more chance joining a casual group of more like-minded people, plus it will increase your confidence which is the key to meeting people. See http://sheffieldautisticsociety.org.uk/activity/adult-aspergers-group/ for example of events in your area.

I would strongly recommend 18 plus for anyone who wants to meet people in the UK (I used to be a member when it used to be for 18-35 year olds, but it's now for 18-65 year olds), but unfortunately the nearest local group to you seems to be the Leeds area. 18 plus has many members who have disabilities and have difficulties with social skills including aspies, but 18+ makes everyone feel very welcome and most people turn up alone on their first visit, often stuck for words (they won't be alone for long however). People soon come out of their shell, they make many friends and numerous people who once considered themselves undateables have met partners at 18 plus. They are a non profit activity group that run local and national events throughout the year very cheaply including extremely cheap holidays that are absolutely awesome. Even I ended up taking a few different ladies out and I later met someone who I had a relationship with for a while (who I later dumped lol), but meeting people just wasn't me, especially ladies and I still did it there. You could also checkout meetup.com as they have all sorts of groups including activity groups, in some areas there are groups for people with social anxiety for instance, or perhaps you may prefer attending a group related to a special interest and who knows who you might meet there.

PS: There's no harm in leaving a profile here too if you want to date someone, yes it's a long shot, but you have nothing to lose.

 

[Ragnahawk]

Username: EllieMay
Gender: 100% Female, but clearly Tomboy
Age: 62 --- Yes, really
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Location: Along the Texas/Oklahoma Red River
Religion: Christian --- Southern Baptist
Politics: Conservative --- Republican
Philosophy: Take at least one step forward every day.
If at first you don't succeed --- try, try again.
Obsessions/Interests: Critters, orchids, rocks, construction, business, politics, . . .
Desired Partner Characteristics: #1 = Kindness. Beyond that, he needs to be able to take care of himself and not rely on me to be his Mama, maid, nurse, or meal ticket. I will not stay with someone who drinks, uses drugs, or abuses me.
Self-Description: I don't: drink, smoke, use drugs, gamble, curse, use makeup, buy expensive clothes, eat fancy food, or need a lot of help. I plan, work hard, shop clearance and resale, save, and build. I am self-diagnosed, ENTJ, and IQ 165.

I would date you, if you weren't like 29 years older. )

 

[Ragnahawk]

Im not ready for a relationship yet, but i might make up a profile here in the near future, so if you are that special man for Jenna...Please wait for me

wheeeeeen?