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Dealing with insults

I think I am one of the rare aspies that doesn't get bothered by insults at all. One of two things happens when I'm insulted.

Something True:
I see it as being true, and understand it. So, it's not really hurtful if they're just seeing something that I see.

Something Untrue:
I see it as being untrue, and understand it. So, it's not really hurtful if they're just saying something for the sake of saying something.
 
It's something like what Jmall said, to me as well. If they have something they're using against me, chances are I'm owning it so it's all in good humor. If they try to actually offend me... Why would I be around them then? I leave. They simply don't deserve me there if they're going to be assholes. If they're lying, it's similar, that's a blatant lie, coat it with humor and let them expose their own nastiness. Then just give 'em the cold shoulder.

It takes a special sort of trash to try & be so mindlessly hurtful, and those kinds of people, quite simply, aren't worth my time.
 
I usually don't respond to insults or try to diffuse the situation. Though the insult will linger in my head for a long time. :(
 
Jmall said:
I think I am one of the rare aspies that doesn't get bothered by insults at all. One of two things happens when I'm insulted.

Something True:
I see it as being true, and understand it. So, it's not really hurtful if they're just seeing something that I see.

Something Untrue:
I see it as being untrue, and understand it. So, it's not really hurtful if they're just saying something for the sake of saying something.
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I'm using this to help balance my thinking in relation to a negative situation in which a person in real life (recently) insulted me. I want to get it out of my head so that the next time I see him I don't go ballistic.
 
For me it depends on the person dishing out the insult, the situation that provoked it and the intensity of the words and their delivery. I won't waste your time explaining my system. But I do always try to think before I react. Some insults deserve a sharp comeback and some don't; luckily I have been blessed with the ability to think on my feet and come up with a pithy retort when I feel it's warranted. In the aftermath of an insult I review what was said to me and objectively assess if it was true or if I might have deserved it. If it was true and/or if I did have it coming, I learn from it and tell the person so if I can. If I snapped back before I realized the insult was justified I am happy to apologize. If I decide I was blameless, I will revisit the issue with the person once I'm calm if I don't think I can let it go easily. I get mixed results with that, but I can at least feel like I satisfied my own requirements by doing it and move on.

I think the secret to dealing with insults is developing the ability to process them, act on anything actionable if needed and feasible, then truly let them go. There's no sense in holding onto them beyond what's useful.
 
I have a hard time knowing how to discern whether I should respect people. I mean sometimes it is really obvious, but most often it is like trying to see through somewhat opaque glass.
.....If only I could think on my feet as you can Slithytoves. Always have admired that ability. Often takes me days and sometimes weeks or months to come up with responses to conversations. :oops: :confused:
 
kestrel said:
.....If only I could think on my feet as you can Slithytoves. Always have admired that ability. Often takes me days and sometimes weeks or months to come up with responses to conversations. :oops: :confused:
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Yeah. I often get frustrated that inevitably I'll dwell on such things long after they've happened. Thinking how I could have responded better. Especially if it's some kind of hostility I didn't see coming.

I knew and worked with one of those persons too who could react very quickly on their feet. Always admired that trait...
 
I'm with you kestrel, it takes me a good while to come up with responses. Usually, I will try to get away from everyone and argue with myself ( y'all know the whisper yelling). If I'm forced into an argument before I can process a response, when I open my mouth a steady stream of obscenities flow out. The stream seems like it can last forever, but luckily that only happens when I feel cornered.
 
Omega said:
I'm with you kestrel, it takes me a good while to come up with responses. Usually, I will try to get away from everyone and argue with myself ( y'all know the whisper yelling). If I'm forced into an argument before I can process a response, when I open my mouth a steady stream of obscenities flow out. The stream seems like it can last forever, but luckily that only happens when I feel cornered.
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Whisper yelling is exactly what I do too - usually in the shower, or when no one else is here. The way you describe the, 'forced into an argument before I can process a response...' is a clarification of one of my premier relationship downfalls/fails. I can't really trust my reactions in real life, so I'm better off on my own, as I have been for a long time now.
 
kestrel said:
I can't really trust my reactions in real life, so I'm better off on my own, as I have been for a long time now.
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I hope it helps to know that your not alone. This quote describes me better than I'd like to admit. Stay Strong!
 
I'm actually far more likely to end up hurting someone's feelings with my response to an insult than I am to be hurt by an insult.
 
Depends really. If it's a result of a daft error on my part then I try and laugh it off. If they're just being an idiot I try and give as good as I get and if it's a bit of banter I just play along. Learn to laugh at yourself from time to time too! :)
 
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