decoding teen socializing

[newlox]

Hi, I am the parent of a 16-year-old boy, with high-functioning autism. He is newly diagnosed, and I am just finding my way through the maze of "support." His school is slow to respond, and I only found one group therapy session, which is closed for the year (one hour/week is not enough anyway). What are the first steps in helping my son learn to socialize, to make and keep friends? Are there support groups, places to socialize, and most importantly, groups to actually teach him the non-spoken rules that other teens seem to get but are over his head?

 

[Ylva]

We don't know your son, what his struggles are, or what he already knows how to do, let alone what he wants, needs, improvises. There is no one-size-fits-all, and we can't give useful advice without knowing more. Sorry.

 

[BIMOG]

I guess a starting point might be for him to join the forum too to discuss what he wants and ask for advice with whatever things confuse him. As for support groups, you need to enquire locally as the users of this forum are located all over the planet and are unlikely to know the specifics of your particular area. I'm sorry that I can't be more helpful.

 

[nsmom]

Hi, I am the parent of a 16-year-old boy, with high-functioning autism. He is newly diagnosed, and I am just finding my way through the maze of "support." His school is slow to respond, and I only found one group therapy session, which is closed for the year (one hour/week is not enough anyway). What are the first steps in helping my son learn to socialize, to make and keep friends? Are there support groups, places to socialize, and most importantly, groups to actually teach him the non-spoken rules that other teens seem to get but are over his head?

 

[nsmom]

Hey - just saw your post. I have a 15 yo son newly diagnosed. Very very high functioning, but desperately struggling socially. I have similar questions as yours. Have you had any luck?

 

[Judge]

Are there support groups, places to socialize, and most importantly, groups to actually teach him the non-spoken rules that other teens seem to get but are over his head?

It's worth understanding that "adapting" to Neurotypical life isn't a precise matter of mechanics and learning. That more often than it's mimicry through trial and error. Enough to keep us from being overtly persecuted, but not necessarily enough to be socially accepted either.

That essentially we "fake it" to get by, acting the part. And that it's exhausting mentally and emotionally that never changes. Skills that admittedly didn't come to me in my high school years. Of course I was never formally diagnosed, at a time while my parents were concerned.

There was nothing for medical professionals to diagnose back then in the 50s, 60s and 70s. I didn't have a clue that I might be on the spectrum of autism until my mid 50s.