Desperately seeking answers about adult Aspergers

[Judge]

My brother didn't believe it right away, but with time he too came to "get it." Now, among the people in my life, he is one of those who understands Aspieness the best- impressive for a true Neurotypical!

It's a very big deal when an immediate member of your family works the problem and arrives at the same conclusion we have.

 

[KassieMac]

Hello,

Thanks for your insight, it's helpful. I am in Ohio.

I've been reading more about Aspergers for 2 or 3 hours now. I actually lost track of time until your response made my email sound play. I am working on finding an affordable place to pursue a test, as well as working on procuring some insurance to help pay for it. Truthfully, if I had to pay, I would, as I would like to know.

I don't know how reliable the AQ Test is, nor the RDOS quiz but I scored 44 and 154, respectively. My research tonight has taught me that psychiatrists, etc. use the ADOS, but I'm not entirely sure what that entails. It seems one has to be a doctor with $50 to buy it, which I cannot do as I lack the medical qualifications. I'm not looking to cheat on the test, I'm just curious what it is and how it's different than the two I already took online. I *do* fear that I would fail it, and turn out to *not* have AS because of doing poorly on it or answering questions that would flag as non-AS (which would only make me question what is "wrong" with me if it's not AS).

I, too, have had several work-related issues because of situations where someone has been offended or upset by something I said or did. I actually resigned a position because I was not fitting into the mold there. I'm often told that I am "too sarcastic" and "condescending", even if I am genuinely not trying to be either at the time.

The more I read about AS, the more it "feels right" and seems to make sense. My biggest worry is not that I may have it, but if I get diagnosed as NOT having it then what is "wrong" with me?

Update:
I'm not sure if this would count as good or bad news for you, but I just found out that my insurance doesn't cover assessments for autism. So if you're looking for an insurance plan, make sure that would be covered or you may just be wasting your money. Sounds like you may be better off putting your money towards paying for the assessment directly, and if you are diagnosed, that may qualify you for Medicaid (just guessing on that point).

I hope that helps.

Kassie

 

[itsme]

Thanks. The more I read about this, the more confusing it all becomes. There appears to be very little information about AS and adults (mostly finding things pertaining to kids). Additionally, different sites often have different signs of AS (one clams eye contact IS difficult, one says eye contact MAY be difficult…) And perhaps most confusing, the changes to the DSM and getting diagnosed. Social Anxiety appears similar, but that seems more to deal with "fear" or interacting with others than just difficulty. I can interact with others, they just stare at me like I'm crazy or quickly learn that I'm "weird" and can't relate to me (nor me to them, for that matter.)

I'm getting overwhelmed with so much differing information and just getting more and more confused the more I learn. :-/

 

[Ste11aeres]

Thanks. The more I read about this, the more confusing it all becomes. There appears to be very little information about AS and adults (mostly finding things pertaining to kids). Additionally, different sites often have different signs of AS (one clams eye contact IS difficult, one says eye contact MAY be difficult…) And perhaps most confusing, the changes to the DSM and getting diagnosed. Social Anxiety appears similar, but that seems more to deal with "fear" or interacting with others than just difficulty. I can interact with others, they just stare at me like I'm crazy or quickly learn that I'm "weird" and can't relate to me (nor me to them, for that matter.)

I'm getting overwhelmed with so much differing information and just getting more and more confused the more I learn. :-/

This forum, AspiesCentral, is a great place to learn. Here you can "see" Aspergers as it manifests itself in actual different individuals. You can hear about things from our point of view.
The different symptoms manifest differently in different people. "May" is more accurate than "is".

 

[Historianthomas]

Trying to figure out ASD and whether one has it, is really a journey of self discovery. I always felt like the odd one out in my family. They could easily cope with changes, had no problems with conversations with others, and had numerous friends. Me, on the other hand, always had problems with change, felt very uncomfortable with eye contact, had obsessions that lasted a long time (dinosaurs for 10 years), and very little to any friends. My girlfriend actually introduced me this. I took the online test twice, giving myself ample time between test results. When both came out with similar scores, I knew what I was dealing with it. I decided not to take the medical test because I am convinced in my mind, and the minds of two counselors, that I have it. Diagnosing a spectrum disorder like ASD is difficult because of range. Unlike the "typical" ASD characteristic, I have no problems showing empathy. My best friend can attest to that. I may be over doing it, but I doubt it is ASD related. Anyway, good luck with your personal journey. I know the people in this group would love to help you in your self discovery.

 

[Loomis]

Thanks, all this has been very helpful. I'd like to have a formal diagnosis for myself more than anything, mostly to confirm my own suspicions. I think it would also be helpful if I decided to tell my family. I appreciate the insight.

As some others in this thread have stated, it is very easy to get misdiagnosed. There are so many incompetent psychologists practicing and it is best to absolutely exclude psychiatrists as potential diagnosticians. The only reasonable place to get a valid professional diagnosis is from an expert in autism and these experts are not easy to find.

I would start out by taking some online tests and see what results you get. Also, continue to read posts on this forum and see how it feels.

I have a professional diagnosis but it is just happenstance that I got it. My ex-wife kept telling me I was aspie but I did not believe her. Eventually, after much pestering, I went to my son's therapist and was pronounced by her to be on the spectrum. But as far as I am concerned the aspies who are self-diagnosed on this forum have just as valid a diagnosis as my "official" one.

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

Just wanted to be sure you were aware of our recommended resources section for books on AS too: Resources | AspiesCentral.com

 

[itsme]

Welcome

Just wanted to be sure you were aware of our recommended resources section for books on AS too: Resources | AspiesCentral.com

Thanks. I'll look into some of them. I didn't see that post until you pointed it out.

 

[itsme]

Welcome

Just wanted to be sure you were aware of our recommended resources section for books on AS too: Resources | AspiesCentral.com

Thanks again for this. I ordered the Atwood book and should have it by Thursday. Cheers.

 

[Vanilla]

Thanks again for this. I ordered the Atwood book and should have it by Thursday. Cheers.

No worries, hope it helps

 

[itsme]

No worries, hope it helps

I'm finding Attwood's "Complete Guide to Asperger's" very, very helpful. It arrived today and I've been reading and highlighting all night. More often than not, I feel like Attwood has written *my* story.

I think my favorite part about his writing style and book is his humanistic approach to AS. The majority of resources I've come across simply state symptoms of AS as "black and white" or "mandatory". For example, people with AS "must" have stims like flapping, etc., whereas Attwood points out such things are not necessarily required in order to meet a diagnosis. I also enjoyed his breakdown and opinions regarding the DSM-IV criteria for AS (though I wish there was an updated edition of this book that dealt with the DSM-V changes to diagnosis).

Still working on getting a formal diagnosis established, but funds and the bureaucracy of the local hospital are a significant impairment. Thankfully, I can at least finish reading this book in the meantime.

 

[itsme]

I've finished Attwood's book and found it very insightful. However, after reading up on the changes to the DSM-5 and the elimination of Asperger's, I'm much less confident about pursuing a formal diagnosis. I'm much better able to relate to Attwood's description of Asperger's than I am for the apparent "all or none" criteria of the DSM-5. For instance, I don't have much of an issue with interpreting sarcasm or idioms. As this is now a requirement of autism under the DSM-5, it seems much less worth my time to pursue a professional diagnosis.

Does anyone know if there remains such controversy between the DSM-IV and DSM-5 that some doctors and medical professionals prefer not (or even refuse) to accept the new changes? (If this has been discussed elsewhere on the forum, please link me. I'm not exactly sure what to search for specifically.)

I'm really at a loss as to where to go from here because of the new changes… :-/

EDIT: I was incorrectly misreading the description of SCD, which I do not believe accurately describes me. So a little less confused, but confused nonetheless.

 

[Vanilla]

I've finished Attwood's book and found it very insightful. However, after reading up on the changes to the DSM-5 and the elimination of Asperger's, I'm much less confident about pursuing a formal diagnosis. I'm much better able to relate to Attwood's description of Asperger's than I am for the apparent "all or none" criteria of the DSM-5. For instance, I don't have much of an issue with interpreting sarcasm or idioms. As this is now a requirement of autism under the DSM-5, it seems much less worth my time to pursue a professional diagnosis.

Does anyone know if there remains such controversy between the DSM-IV and DSM-5 that some doctors and medical professionals prefer not (or even refuse) to accept the new changes? (If this has been discussed elsewhere on the forum, please link me. I'm not exactly sure what to search for specifically.)

I'm really at a loss as to where to go from here because of the new changes… :-/

EDIT: I was incorrectly misreading the description of SCD, which I do not believe accurately describes me. So a little less confused, but confused nonetheless.

I'm not too sure myself, but I do know that many of the opinions, regarding the various traits, are generally confused, and can be inconsistent between different doctors. It's because the spectrum is so varied; from the more extreme cases, to the more subtler ones, and the definitions are constantly changing. It can be frustrating unfortunately. The best advise I can give, would be to find the definition, and specialist, that compliments you best.

 

[Mission Before Waking]

My gym teacher at high-school doubted me when i told her i had Aspergers. People think im very social and dynamic, "normal" if you like.
So Aspergers can vary in many grades. Some are very comouflaged and some are obviously lost in space

 

[ImAspieConfused]

Hello,

I am a 32yo male with a limited knowledge on Aspergers and don't really know where to begin. I'm looking for answers to several questions, but at the same time I'm not sure what questions I should be asking. I will do my best to explain, and maybe someone can help direct me or give me some guidance.

I have always had trouble making friends and have never been in a place where I feel as though I fit in. I've always described myself as a "social outcast", like one of the misfit toys from that old Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer film. I feel like something about me is broken, but I don't know how to express or convey to others exactly what I mean by this.

I had heard of Aspergers before, but what really caught my attention was the NBC television show Parenthood. The character of Hank (portrayed by Ray Romano) in many ways felt like the character was based completely off me. I realize that the show is a work of fiction, but because of how relatable the character of Hank was, I looked into Aspergers a little deeper and on a more personal level.

I don't know how reliable the standard (?) Aspergers test is (referring to the 50 question AQ test) and I know that the fine print always states "not a tool for diagnosis" but I have scored between 36 and 44, depending on when I have taken it.

The results scare me somewhat, but not because I may have Aspergers but because if I don't, I worry I am just a broken, lonely, socially-awkward person frequently perceived as a "prick" because I can't relate to people.

I despise social situations, crowds, meetings with people and any changes to a comfortable, set routine. I rarely (if ever) do anything spontaneous because it makes me uncomfortable. I find people completely un-relatable and do not make or keep friends easily. I feel like most people avoid me because they can't relate to me, either, or think I am too odd.

I often become very invested in a topic or hobby, and when I try to express my interest with others they just don't understand or seem to care. I have never met anyone in my life who I feel I can relate to in terms or sharing my interests and hobbies with.

I've been accused of being "cold" or "not caring" but I find that a lot of the time it's because I'm completely unaware that anything was "wrong" in the first place. (For example, offending someone and literally not realizing that I offended them. Additionally, not being able to understand HOW they could be offended or WHY they are. This happens all the time.)

At the same time, I don't feel I have too difficult a time making eye contact with people or reading someone's emotions (two stereotypical signs of Aspergers). Eye contact is not always easy, but it's not something that I am incapable of.

I live in the U.S. and do not currently have access to affordable health care. I would like to know where to go to get a diagnosis or how to even begin that, even if I had to pay out of pocket.

Writing this is difficult and I don't know if I have expressed myself in any coherent way, but I have no one in my life that I can speak to about this and so I have turned to this forum. Thank you.

I feel the same way... I'm glad u wrote it because I am incapable of speaking my feelings or getting them out of my head? Telling stories is almost impossible for me. If I try, it takes so long, I forget what I was saying or the people I'm saying it to get bored? Atleast I think? Good luck!

 

[ImAspieConfused]

I almost forgot, I found this site and took all of the tests and it made me feel better. If u can imagine, there is even less information available about women on the spectrum and it's driving me crazy! Here it is hope it helps!

Online Tests | Life on the Spectrum

 

[square_peg]

I almost forgot, I found this site and took all of the tests and it made me feel better. If u can imagine, there is even less information available about women on the spectrum and it's driving me crazy! Here it is hope it helps!

Online Tests | Life on the Spectrum

I agree. There isn't much out there for female Aspies specifically. The psych who diagnosed me said it's quite difficult to dx females because they imitate so well, therefore making themselves appear more 'NT'..

I did one of those quizzes out of interest and had my NT partner take the same one (AQ test); I scored 36 and she scored 6.

 

[itsme]

I feel the same way... I'm glad u wrote it because I am incapable of speaking my feelings or getting them out of my head? Telling stories is almost impossible for me. If I try, it takes so long, I forget what I was saying or the people I'm saying it to get bored? Atleast I think? Good luck!

It's easier for me to express my thoughts in writing than in words.

 

[KassieMac]

It's easier for me to express my thoughts in writing than in words.

I've often said that I think better with a keyboard under my hands, though I thought it was just because I'm a computer geek. Though recently when everything hit the fan, my instinct was to stop going to my therapist's office. She called, I let it go to voicemail, and I replied by email. We emailed for about a month, and made more progress than in the previous six years. I was just going by instinct, and I was fed up with doing what everyone else wanted … and it really helped.

Update: state healthcare refused my Aspergers eval (I'm not sure if I told you) so I broke down & agreed to self-pay. I'm really pi$$ed about this, because if the 'professionals' hadn't blown me off two years ago my employer's insurance would've covered it, and I'd still have a job (under protection of the ADA).

My cynical side keeps asking, why do they refer to perseverance as if it's a bad thing? Maybe because if we don't persevere they won't have to live up to their obligations? I won't make that mistake again.

 

[itsme]

I've often said that I think better with a keyboard under my hands, though I thought it was just because I'm a computer geek. Though recently when everything hit the fan, my instinct was to stop going to my therapist's office. She called, I let it go to voicemail, and I replied by email. We emailed for about a month, and made more progress than in the previous six years. I was just going by instinct, and I was fed up with doing what everyone else wanted … and it really helped.

Update: state healthcare refused my Aspergers eval (I'm not sure if I told you) so I broke down & agreed to self-pay. I'm really pi$$ed about this, because if the 'professionals' hadn't blown me off two years ago my employer's insurance would've covered it, and I'd still have a job (under protection of the ADA).

My cynical side keeps asking, why do they refer to perseverance as if it's a bad thing? Maybe because if we don't persevere they won't have to live up to their obligations? I won't make that mistake again.

Can I ask how much you expect self-pay to be? I ask because that will very likely be the direction that I take as well.