Did you have tantrums when you were a child?

[Jumpinbare]

I used to have meltdowns all the time when I was a child. When I was in third grade, I managed to curb them by keeping a vent diary. My biggest mistake was assuming my mother would respect my privacy. She found it, started screaming at me, reading it back to me and slapping me in the face every time she read something she did not like. Then she told everybody she knew about it. I pretty much gave up then.

Just.
Wow.

 

[David C]

Sometimes I had temper tantrums if I had a playmate round and they had to go home earlier than I was expecting. It wasn't change itself that set me into one, it was the idea of having a playdate cut short, as I loved playing with other children and hated being by myself.

I remember when I was about age 10 my cousin was round one Friday evening, and my mum came up to my room and said that my cousin had to go because her grandmother wanted to see her. My cousin obediently got up. But me, being unable to control my emotions when it came to disappointment, I started crying, which turned into a full-blown tantrum. I jumped up and down then picked up a bunch of soft toys and hurled them at my cousin, yelling that I hated her grandparents.

It was all impulsive and I didn't mean what I said. I've always had a hard time taking disappointment. Well, I've learnt to deal with it now but as a child I just couldn't handle it.

The same happened when I was around age 7 or 8, when the swimming-pool was closed. Me, my mum, my brother and my sister had walked all the way there, me being excited all the way - only to see a notice on the door saying the pool was closed for whatever reason. I cried and cried, feeling physically sick to my stomach from disappointment.

I think as a child I lived in the moment and didn't seem to think that there was always a tomorrow. Did anyone else have tantrums as a child that you regret? Do all children over the age of 5 still have tantrums, or is it more common for children with ADHD?

I had tantrums until about age 13. One my friends used to aggregate me and say "have a tandem" he would do so until my fuse blew and I would then chase him and very often others with weapons. I was a tiny kid compared to my mates so they used to do it for entertainment. What else triggered them was not getting my own way. I do remember overhearing that it was disturbing that I had tantrums at that age and started to hear that I 'wasn't quite right' my last girlfriend was the same, tantrums until around 13 and we had other neurological issues in common. She had an adhd diagnosis and looking back, also would have met the criteria for autism. Sorry I can't help you on any connection between tantrum. I was first diagnosed with autism at school also age 13. I only found that out about 10 tears ago via a historical archive. The school didn't bother informing my mother or me about the diagnosis. I found out via a movie that was based on a book written about one of my classmates in the 'special class', which I was one of the prominent characters in. I understand tantrums are normal to a certain age. I meet the criteria for adhd but did not pursue it formally because i used to down Ritalin by the bottle if i got hold of it. So that's 3 of us. Something else to try to seek out research on.

Sometimes I had temper tantrums if I had a playmate round and they had to go home earlier than I was expecting. It wasn't change itself that set me into one, it was the idea of having a playdate cut short, as I loved playing with other children and hated being by myself.

I remember when I was about age 10 my cousin was round one Friday evening, and my mum came up to my room and said that my cousin had to go because her grandmother wanted to see her. My cousin obediently got up. But me, being unable to control my emotions when it came to disappointment, I started crying, which turned into a full-blown tantrum. I jumped up and down then picked up a bunch of soft toys and hurled them at my cousin, yelling that I hated her grandparents.

It was all impulsive and I didn't mean what I said. I've always had a hard time taking disappointment. Well, I've learnt to deal with it now but as a child I just couldn't handle it.

The same happened when I was around age 7 or 8, when the swimming-pool was closed. Me, my mum, my brother and my sister had walked all the way there, me being excited all the way - only to see a notice on the door saying the pool was closed for whatever reason. I cried and cried, feeling physically sick to my stomach from disappointment.

I think as a child I lived in the moment and didn't seem to think that there was always a tomorrow. Did anyone else have tantrums as a child that you regret? Do all children over the age of 5 still have tantrums, or is it more common for children with ADHD?

I had them unil age 13. A female friend of mine was the same and she had an adhd diagnosis. I too met the criteria for adhd but didn't formalise it because I would take Ritalin by the bottle if I got my hands on them.

 

[David C]

I had tantrums until about age 13. One my friends used to aggregate me and say "have a tandem" he would do so until my fuse blew and I would then chase him and very often others with weapons. I was a tiny kid compared to my mates so they used to do it for entertainment. What else triggered them was not getting my own way. I do remember overhearing that it was disturbing that I had tantrums at that age and started to hear that I 'wasn't quite right' my last girlfriend was the same, tantrums until around 13 and we had other neurological issues in common. She had an adhd diagnosis and looking back, also would have met the criteria for autism. Sorry I can't help you on any connection between tantrum. I was first diagnosed with autism at school also age 13. I only found that out about 10 tears ago via a historical archive. The school didn't bother informing my mother or me about the diagnosis. I found out via a movie that was based on a book written about one of my classmates in the 'special class', which I was one of the prominent characters in. I understand tantrums are normal to a certain age. I meet the criteria for adhd but did not pursue it formally because i used to down Ritalin by the bottle if i got hold of it. So that's 3 of us. Something else to try to seek out research on.

I had them unil age 13. A female friend of mine was the same and she had an adhd diagnosis. I too met the criteria for adhd but didn't formalise it because I would take Ritalin by the bottle if I got my hands on them.

Sorry, I thought I lost the post then did a less self obsessed version.

 

[Misty Avich]

I've realised most children don't take disappointment very well, just like I didn't.
I remember when my cousin (definitely NT with no mental health problems or anything) was 9 she had a massive tantrum because her dad had promised to take her out that day but didn't show up. She cried rather loudly, and wailed "I hate Daddy!" It was actually quite heartbreaking to see her that upset.

But I think my reactions to disappointment sometimes looked quite crazy from an onlooker's point of view, as my disappointment sometimes turned to anger.
When I was 13 I was supposed to be having a sleepover with my same age cousin (not the same cousin in the example above), and I was really looking forward to it. But she had gone out with her friends that day (which did make me feel rejected, as I already felt lonely because she had friends while I didn't, and they never wanted to include me, being so me and my cousin were always best friends since we were born). She promised she'd be back before the day was over so we could have our sleepover. But when it was nearly evening she phoned to say the bus hadn't turned up, which sounded "convenient" and felt to me like she just wanted to be out with her friends longer.
This was very painful for me, being so I was lonely anyway, and I absolutely lost it. I screamed and screamed in the living-room and I had so much of this angry energy that I kept jumping on to the couch then throwing myself on to the floor, just screaming uncontrollably and shouting "IT'S NOT FAIR I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY COUSIN I HATE EVERYTHING IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!" But my mother didn't get mad at me. She felt so bad for me that she sat on the floor and put her arms around me and held me close. That calmed me right down and I just sobbed in her arms. She held me for ages, soothing me and telling me everything will be all right.
My cousin was being so awkward and selfish that day that she didn't even deserve a sleepover, so in the end my mum arranged for the younger cousin I mentioned earlier in this post to come for a sleepover instead. I was very thankful and the evening turned out to be great.

I actually had tears in my eyes as I was typing this. I was so lonely when I was 13, yet I was very social and had the same desires as all normal 13-year-olds have, yet I was denied it because of this horrible autism.

And people wonder why (and get offended, not talking about anyone here) I hate being on the spectrum. It's caused nothing but misery, social isolation and heartache during the years I needed friends the most (my adolescent years). All I wanted to be was a normal teenager doing normal things teenagers like to do. It's not like I had a special interest to focus on, as all I was interested in was doing normal teenage things. I'd far rather be hanging out with friends than sitting alone reading a book.