Didn't go to Church today and felt nothing

[Judge]

All he keeps saying which ticks me off is that I need more guys and couples as friends which I don't want. I just want to be happy. Why is that impossible for me? I thought Church would be a good place to meet my female partner but at the same time I thought this forum would have more singles not married people here saying I am no good. It seems that me and @Markness want the same thing but we are always put down by the same people.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

Change your social orbit- not in part, but in whole. Whatever you want from us here clearly isn't working. And we're no more of a dating service than the Roman Catholic Church. You need to dump them too. And above all, dump the guy who insists you limit your social life to only men and couples.

Be proactive. Above all change everything you can socially compared to what you left behind.

Most of us if not all have at one time or another had to do as such. And when people try to help you, consider attempting to help them as well in whatever way you can. It won't fill in the entire void of loneliness, but it might make you feel just a tad better about yourself than you do at the moment.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I don't go to a Roman Catholic Church even though I only live one block too one. I understand but it's hard to try new things. The going back to Church thing was big for me back in 2019 it was a huge step out of my comfort zone. So did the park, library etc. but they all accomplished nothing except making me feel more alone as I hate having couples as friends and they may not rub it in as you say but to me, they do.

 

[Fino]

You need other goals. Depending your entire well-being and happiness on a single condition is a recipe for disaster.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

With the small 100/1 odds that an woman from Church or somewhere else would come up to meet and we will fall in love.

Has not happened the three years I started to go out and trying to socialize. The only woman that come up to me are married which I find out later and it ticked me off. Also annoying getting hangs from guys I have no interest in. Then more couples as friends I made more than I have hair in my nose. Go ahead blame me for all this crap.

 

[Thinx]

It's not your fault, Tony, but you need to try some new, different strategies if you want to meet someone. Church does have specific other goals. Maybe start to get fitter, and go to the gym? They can work out a programme for you that suits your stage of fitness. It's a goal thats healthy and would get you into more social places too.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I am at Church today someone drove me here. We did a group prayer and I felt alone when no one prayed for me.

Then it was time for the greeting. I was ready to put on my earbuds and listen to music knowing I will be ignored but then. The impossible happened at Church today. A woman I don't know came up to me and started an conversation. We talked for about 5 minutes.

 

[VictorR]

I am at Church today someone drove me here. We did a group prayer and I felt alone when no one prayed for me.

Then it was time for the greeting. I was ready to put on my earbuds and listen to music knowing I will be ignored but then. The impossible happened at Church today. A woman I don't know came up to me and started an conversation. We talked for about 5 minutes.

Something that happened cannot be said to be impossible.

Maybe next time you might try initiating a conversation as well?

 

[Alexej]

I was ready to put on my earbuds and listen to music knowing I will be ignored but then.

That sounds like setting yourself up to not have contact, and to be in contol of it. However, you know where that will end - no contact. Allow yourself to be surprised - as happened - great.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I am starting to think you are all right that it is my attitude that makes girls not talk to me. Does not mean that if I am smiling girls are going to line up to talk to me. I know I must approach them, but I am so nervous starting with rejection. If you pass that stage, then I must worry about not having anything to say which ends conversations.

At least rarely when they come up to you know that you're not rejected but then I still have running out of things to say.

 

[Thinx]

This is progress! So great, you are not unable to talk and you talked with her for 5 minutes! Yes good idea to think about what you will say when you meet someone of interest, cracking a smile is often useful too! You have a cat or cats, that's a good topic, do you read, maybe talk about what you're reading, or a good programme or film you saw or want to see.

If the other person mentions something they are interested in, you could ask more about it, like oh you enjoy needlework? What do you make? And so on, each time they reply, show you are interested. Don't talk more than 50% of the time, ideally. I'm sorry you feel rejected, that's hard for you, but don't put in your earbuds! Things can change, you are as interesting as anyone, just think a bit of a few walks where you noticed things, or what you enjoy doing. It will improve gradually as you realise you are interesting and have interests and can ask about others interests too.

 

[All-Rounder]

All I know is I use to go to every event that TGC had until just a couple a months ago when two prayer groups opened up by two separate couples I did not attend because I know it would consist of the same couples, single by choice girls, single guys and any single girls there would not give me the time of day. If I want girls to ignore me I can go to the park. I thought at Church and events they would not be so stuck up snobs.

I am thinking about leaving Justin group the only group I attend because it is literally one single guy who annoys me because he likes to wear his face mask all the time so I told him to take the stupid thing off. He complied. Then we got three couples one recent joined telling themselves at the group how they meet there spouse. Then if there are any single woman saying they are going to attend for the first time flake at the last minute then never try to show up again.

Don't be goin around telling people to take their covid masks off. It could mean life or death for them.

As an example: Nobody comes up to you to tell you to stop believing in your faith, if they would, you wouldn't like it. And that would not change your belief either.

 

[All-Rounder]

Once again I have to correct you. I will spell it out in all caps so you get it through your thick head.

ALL THEIR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES ARE EITHER MARRIED OR THEIR IN AN RELATIONSHIP.

The scum of the earth breed and the world is turning less intelligent.
I don't wish to be one of them. It would be a mistake to bring a child into a world like this, especially with m skills and the present concerns of the world.
The monkey realm doesn't offer much for the future either, we will never end corruption because being alive means having freedom and power to corrupt. There will always be someone skilled and wanting to steal, because freedom is necessary to life.

Love comes with a lot of emotionality, and people are less capable when they're caught up.

 

[All-Rounder]

I did join so called bible study and all that freaking showed up were couples. I already made friends with a new couple like I need it like a hole in the head. I have more couples as friends than I have hair in my nose.

Also, since I walked to every life group meeting every week for 8 months and only once was there a possible single girl that showed up. She was not a stuck-up snob and talked to me. Otherwise, it's the same single guy Keith and four couples. Any new girls say they are going to show up but flake at the last minute.

So, I joined a Sunday group. I knew it would be mostly couples and kids. It was but there were two girls there. One a red headed stuck up snob ignored me no matter what I did even when I accidentally bumped into her. Then while waiting for my mother to pick me up everyone said goodbye to me except that red headed snob. Then I got a text from someone attending Sunday group thinking it was the red headed snob but no it was that guy Joe asking me out for a coffee date. Ewe. No thanks. I don't want to hang out with some middle aged single Italian American. No thank you. What really ticked me off is that I never gave him my number. I ended up leaving that life group because of one older lady swearing but even she says hi to me which I don't want to talk to her unlike that stuck up red headed snob.

There were two new groups that opened in the summer, but I purposely did not attend them because I knew it would be couples, single guys, same single as choice girls and if there were any new single girls, they would not give me the time of day. Then I would end up getting another coffee date with a guy.

My take on this is: a relationship isn't gonna cure your depression and sensitivity. It'll make it worse. The same people and traits that annoy you will intrude in the relationship, and more.

For all those the psychologist is your friend. And your true friends which you can talk to about stuff like that.

 

[All-Rounder]

All he keeps saying which ticks me off is that I need more guys and couples as friends which I don't want. I just want to be happy. Why is that impossible for me? I thought Church would be a good place to meet my female partner but at the same time I thought this forum would have more singles not married people here saying I am no good. It seems that me and @Markness want the same thing but we are always put down by the same people.

If you lack the interest in observing how couples act with each other and work around their problems or try to be respectful and tolerate each other, as well as how they manage their attributes together, but focus on them as a negative influence to you, as mockery, it's gonna be hard to have friends at all. People have connections, you don't have to like it or anything, but if you learn to ignore it or tolerate it and not think much about it as it's a common thing for NTs, it might help you.

Being in a relationship doesn't make a person any more valuable or reliable. In many cases the opposite.

 

[All-Rounder]

First I stained my foot on Friday so it still hurts. Then I got up today and my back was killing me so I staid in bed until the late afternoon.

I would have not missed anything except being ignored by single girls and bothered by couples rubbing in their success but you all heard that already.

I will be seeing an doctor soon for the back pain.

So take a break if it makes you feel better. You don't have to mindlessly do things that interfere with your health.

Part of remaining healthy, mentally, is knowing when to not push your body and to make unhealthy decisions for yourself. Don't go the distance if it risks you, it's not worth it.