Difficulty With Social Codes

[Fino]

I just realized that a beautiful analogy for this reoccurring conversation would be if someone who was really sad for a while who had thought they were depressed went to a forum for Depression and started disagreeing with everybody's experiences, explaining that after eating his favorite flavor of ice-cream and talking to a friend he realized he had no reason to be depressed so if everyone would just do something enjoyable and find some company they too would realize that they have no need to be depressed.

 

[Fino]

People with autism are neurotypical. There is no scientific evidence that people with autism have different brains than anyone else. I used to struggle with social cues but I overcame it and don't have that problem anymore.

But not everyone's autism is like yours in that they're just a bit socially awkward. What about a child who is non-verbal, pays no attention to people around him, screams when he's touched, and is obsessively preoccupied with things like the texture of a speaker? Same brain as your average joe?

 

[theporgsnest]

I understand, OP. I actually find the science/social anthropology behind human social interaction and cues like non-verbal behaviour more interesting than using it myself, lol. So no matter how much I learn about what you should when 'x', and why you shouldn't do 'y', it is all just knowledge to me, theory, if you like it. Mainly because it's not innate and also because in certain cases, I don't understand why and frankly, don't actually care. I find it a sometimes amusing mixed bag - I occasionally want to know these things that seem to so second nature to others to not create misunderstandings and awkwardness, but then with certain social niceties, I couldn't give a toss, to be blunt.

And to touch on the whole stress/depression/anxiety element: Do I sometimes miss/ mess up social cues because of anxiety? Probably some of the time, yes. But then again, I managed to do something socially inappropriate in the comfort of my own home, where I feel the safest and least stressed. Something that completely passed me by and unbeknownst to me ruffled literally everyone else in the house. And it's hard because I half want these things to be pointed out, especially if I hurt feelings, and half don't because it makes me feel like rubbish.

 

[Canismajoris]

My main problem is that half the time I'm not aware that there is a problem. I don't know that something is expected of me, then don't know that other people are in any way bothered by my lack of action. Or, I'm given (social) information, and I don't know what to do about it.

I can relate to this. Also, I tend to understand too late what actually was ment. Like someone just says something funny, but I reply to it with infodump. Then somewhere in the middle I understand that nobody actually asked anything...

 

[sport]

I'am in the same boat sometimes just don't get the drift so sometimes keep quiet and appear dumb than speak and confirm it.

 

[Transgressivecharm]

"How does everybody just know that?" is probably the thing I've yelled most frequently in my life.

Yes. This.