Do Any Of You have trouble making friends? I know I have problems with making friends.

[Amethystgirl]

My friend said I will probably make other friends but I don't believe that because I haven't made any new in person friends in a very long time and I only really have 2 in person friends I see (not counting internet friends) and it's not like I see I don't see my 2 in person friends every week. Any of you have troubling believing things people say?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I lot of my friends passed away. and being retired are hard to replace. The reason I joined this site seeking others that share my interests, home run.

 

[Jumpinbare]

No trouble. I don't need a crowd of friends. I have a few long-term friends (40+ years). I don't make special effort to make more. I try to be friendly to anyone I meet, but I don't expect them to be interested in being friends. When it happens, it's a bonus. Doesn't happen often.

 

[Outdated]

I've always made friends quickly and easily but usually end up with too many of them. Last time I moved interstate I deliberately decided that I wasn't going to do that this time and I'd be more reclusive in order to look after myself better.

 

[Progster]

Yes, I find it hard to make friends. I have plenty of aquaintances, but no friends. I'm not on people's social radar, so I don't get invited to things. I'm also quite reclusive, happy with my own company and don't talk to people a lot. When I do, it's mainly practical and/or superficial.

 

[kenaij]

This is a very typical question on autism self tests. I find it hard to answer. Because I don`t want to make any new friends. I don`t need new friends. I have my wife, children and other family and that is enough.
But I am able to act in a way that people find it easy to connect with me. And generally like me. So in that sense. I don`t have problems. I know exactly how to do it. It just takes a lot of energy and it is not something I desire.

 

[Misty Avich]

The only NTs I count as friends are my colleagues.
My friends outside of work aren't NTs.
Luckily my family are like my friends, and I guess I can count my husband's family as my friends too.
Otherwise I don't have as many friends as the average woman does. I never understood why, as my social skills aren't even that bad, I know it.

 

[Rodafina]

Making friends is a rare and precious occurrence for me. But, I like it that way. I wouldn’t know what to do with a whole bunch of friends, and having just a few but very meaningful ones is more what I want. People seem to be rather willing to be my friend, but I have a terribly hard time feeling connected.

 

[vergil96]

I prefer having fewer and better friends than many but shallow friendships.

 

[Suzanne]

Always had trouble making friends. But, I do now have one friend and we are dangerous when on our own ie laughing etc. She is actually a lady I study the bible with ie me being the teacher.

My husband has said: do not know how to keep friends. And, it is true, that I would start the process, but in truth, could not be bothered to go further and usually, it is me feeling disappointed, but I have learned, that disappointments sort of go along with having friends.

 

[Kirsty]

All the time. I find it easier if someone comes with me to make friends, but there’s no one to help with this. If people talk to me first that could work. I believe I have found someone I can share my life with and possibly make friends when we go out - still early stages, but I’d be really happy if she wants to be with me.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Yes I do have trouble making friends. You wouldn't believe how shy I am in public. It's almost always that someone else will come up to me. And if they are open and friendly, and pull me out of my shell, we sometimes become friends.

 

[Swansong]

An autistic person that doesn't struggle to make friends would be the exception to the rule.

 

[Misty Avich]

An autistic person that doesn't struggle to make friends would be the exception to the rule.

There are some autistics who don't struggle to make friends. My brother, for instance. He's always been shy and never liked sports but never struggled socially through school, even during adolescence he was naturally accepted by the popular kids. He had a whole crowd of boys and girls who often came to our house. They were decent friends too. But somehow he got diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome a couple of years ago just because he suffers with depression. Yes he can be a bit strange and withdrawn when he gets depressed but I still don't feel it's ASD. But it seems that Asperger's is being overdiagnosed these days.

 

[Kisa the tea]

Yes. Offline much more so than online.

 

[NB79]

Autism can be a pain.
I had a group of my neighborhood when i was little, that we used to play, in highschool, i was alone mostly, i couldn't socialize at all, the same happened in my 4 or 5 birthday, the other kids were playing and communicating with each other, i was in my birthday party but i was there in the center alone between all the other kids, i felt anguish because of that and retired to pretend playing with my toys in my room alone.

 

[RemyZee]

I've always had difficulty making keeping friendships, and am a person who would like friendships, but it's not really accessible to me even when trying--and honestly, I find it pretty intense to develop relationships where I just make so many social mistakes, and also have had bad experiences. Don't know why I look for it though: I love my alone space and can go for days without talking to anyone and feel happy to be in my zone, while just hanging out can be at times excruciating

 

[boringclod]

C S Lewis said that all friendships begin with "you too?!"

I find few folks with as broad and varied of interests as myself, fewer who want to have substantive conversations, and fewer still who are divergent thinkers who want to explore ideas.

I have a few friends wo are close.

That worries me, especially as my wife and i grow older. I am helping some folks (whom we have known for 30 yrs) in their end of life issues. Im watching them fall prey to the medical establishment, the governmental establishment, etc. Even with me and anpther friend of theirs sdvocating for them its a horrible mess.

Im glad we're part of a church that is reasonably close-knit, i trust there will be help there when we need it.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I certainly identify with the substantive conversations. My longest-time close friend is always cutting me off and outright saying he doesn't care about what I am saying even when he brought up the topic! I realize I infodump, but when someone else initiates it, I figure we're up for a good information exchange, not an immediate shut down. So then I shut up and listen to his stories about other friends that I can't relate to and couldn't use the info if I did relate

 

[Misty Avich]

I used to work with someone who was sensitive yet often made very wrong choices with her life, and it was easy for others to criticise or demonize her, and it got to her.
But I never did. I always offered sympathy, understanding and moral support. Even when she had stupidly got fired for turning up for work under the influence of drugs, and I hate drugs, but I still texted her (a few days later) to ask how she was. She told me, and thanked me, then announced she was pregnant. I could have been callous like "oh my God, why do you carry on making a mess of your life?" but I didn't. I just said "congratulations" and was supportive, because I guess that would be what I'd want people to say to me if I were in that situation, not to be criticised or shamed.

I'm that sort of friend, so it's ironic that I don't have many friends at all. Even the girl I was just talking about hardly keeps in touch, even before. She only texted because I texted her. I'm not the sort to bombard people with texts but I do show that I care every now and again and I like to offer support if I can.