I've only had the one, between the ages of 37 and 40 (I'm now 43) when I was living with my parents (see my
introduction thread for the lowdown on my complicated comings and goings).
In a way I had seen it coming when TheDoctor (to give his OKCupid user name) told me he wanted to end our relationship, the reason being that he felt the relationship wasn't going anywhere. He had hoped that we would have moved in together by that point, but that was never a practical option due to my failure to find lasting employment during this time. I for my part admitted that I never felt in love with him, then felt guilty that I'd been stringing him along (he assured me this wasn't the case) and wondered if I even knew what love means.
There was also an issue of lifestyle, which I fear makes me come across as materialistic. Although I never said as much to him, every time I visited my partner's flat I inwardly winced at how scruffy and cramped it was, and yet he considered himself to have had a good deal in paying £600 a month for this privilege. I suppose having previously been an owner-occupier in that hinterland of cheap properties beyond the M25 had made it hard for me to adjust to the reality of the kind of living standards I should expect in the capital. Then there was the uncertainty of my work situation. I had assumed - naïvely obviously - that I would find a proper job, preferably in Bristol, and then we'd be able to see whether the relationship would stand up to being apart during the week. Although in reality even in London we mainly saw each other at weekends. We also had difference in political opinions. He is on the far left (had been a member of the
Socialist Workers Party until the fallout from the
rape scandal) and regarded me (as a Green) as an honorary leftie, but I found his mindset really negative. It seems to be all anti this, screw the Tories, fetishising miners (why??) etc whereas my political philosophy is more "it doesn't have to be like this, let's make things better".
