Do I have Aspergers or I could be suffering of something else?

[Donein]

Also my mother says that I complain too much and I'm too negative and people can't tolerate me.

This statement that your mother said is a common statement of a Narcisstic Mother. In the book "Will I Ever Be Good Enough - Healing daughters of Narcisstic Mothers", by Karyl McBride - it mentions this wording..... My mother had several zingers that she would say to me. A couple are "Nothing is Ever Good Enough For you?" another - "You always go over board"... When my mother said these two things, this was a response to a common request that I asked. I was five years old.... When you grow up with a N for a mom, most of your requests that a child asks for are deleted, denied and made fun of...... Page 21 says - "You may have noticed that whenever you drew attention away from you mother, you did suffer retaliation, put-downs and punishment...."

This book is an easy read and will explain why mom did what she did.

In my family, and a big family tree I have, many Narcissists married Aspergers. My husband is a Narcissist but he is also has aspergers.

 

[Donein]

Yes, my parents were indifferent with me and didn't give emotional support when I was bullied in school and I know that I suffered very much because of it. Some traits however, were there from a very young age, like low tolerance to certain sounds or noises, difficulty with understanding jokes or sarcasm, hypersensitivity etc. I know that they affected very much my life and relationship with others.

I reread this and I have to tell you that I am so sorry that your parents did not protect you from the bullies. This infuriates me. The indifference could be a Narcissistic trait called ingnoring. The parent that is a Narcissist does one of two things. They engulf or ignore. Both are considered child abuse. But it can change by them, one time they engulf for years, and then they may ignore.... It's hard to understand but it is all related to the N getting his supply, and the supply is like a drug and the drug is Attention. And they play one person off of another. They pit one sibiling against the other. All the children are playing the sick Narcissistic game in the family, all of them are trying to protect themselves from the N parent who might abuse them next. It is very dysfunctional and very damaging. This stuff goes on from generation to generation until one smart child figures out what is going on. I do believe you were the scape goat, the door mat, the whipping boy of your family. I was. If the parent is a N and it is a female, the female child will be the scapegoat. If there are more than one female children , only one female will be the scapegoat... There can only be one at a time.

 

[Stardust]

Thanks for your replies, Donein. I think you're right, I have a really dysfunctional relation with my parents. Sometimes my mother even bullies me. What could I do in such case?
Do you think that my personality might be this way because of my parents?

 

[Arashi222]

Thanks for your replies, Donein. I think you're right, I have a really dysfunctional relation with my parents. Sometimes my mother even bullies me. What could I do in such case?
Do you think that my personality might be this way because of my parents?

Hey Stardust. I just wanted to come by and say that I am clinical social worker and have done a lot of research and studying about mental health. While having not great relationship with parents doesn't mean that they have some mental illness or that they have a personality disorder they may not know how to deal with someone who has HFA. People's personlity forms in many stages and from many things. Parents, peers, teachers all have influence over a born temperment. I would suggest that maybe you get some counseling for yourself you cannot change other people and can only take of your self.

I hope this helps.