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Do most people dislike you?

Kalinychta

Kalinychta

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Generally speaking, as autistic people we simply do not fit in, and aside from those who successfully mask, most of us just seem weird, to varying degrees, to most people, to “normal” (NT) people.

I feel like a good three-quarters of the people I meet dislike me. Every now and again I meet someone who truly likes me, but most of the time I feel that people actually flat out don’t like me. I think they see me as aloof and stuck up and “out there” (i.e. not like them) and even irritable, and although I do quite well one-on-one with them (I love asking people questions and listening to them talk), I am utterly flabbergasted and overwhelmed and uncomfortable in groups of more than one.

Do you feel that you are generally disliked? When you mask, do people like you? When you don’t mask, how do people,—as I said, generally speaking,—feel about you? I’m not asking if they should like you or if you care that they like you. I am asking how you think they perceive you.
 
When I'm being exactly how I am without pretending, it seems that almost 80 % dislike me or something about me and my behaviour. Then, there are some people that are just slightly disturbed or weirded out, then a smaller percentage that seems neutral. It seems only about 1 % of people I meet seem to like me without my needing to pretend to be something I'm not.

People don't like things they don't understand and few are open-minded enough to try to understand. It's as simple as that.
 
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onlything said:
People don't like things they don't understand and few are open-minded enough to try to understand. It's as simple as that.
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Yep. Honestly, at this point, I dont even try anymore, to meet new people. I see it as an absolute waste of time.

I *know* most will dislike me. The tribalism is strong, and so as always everything must fit into that stupid little box, or they dont like it. I dont even pretend to try getting in that box, so.... yeah, most dont like me.

I find that exceptions only happen in places that are just as "out there" as I am.
 
Most people I have contact with are nice to me. Not sure if that has anything to do with liking me or not. I never thought about it along those lines.
 
I don't know whether people like me or not. They mask their feelings, so if they dislike me I don't get a sense of that. Most people are polite or even friendly to me, but that doesn't mean that they like me.
 
It seems l slide by. But l do come across people once in awhile who l trigger and they have a instant dislike. Maybe a past girlfriend, a mom brings this up. Or l have dealt with some obsessive men and one obsessive woman. l tiptoe and try to be careful of my persona (mask). My jobs all my life involve dealing with the public in one capacity or other. So maybe as a female, my interaction is more fine-tuned.
 
Kalinychta said:
Do you feel that you are generally disliked? When you mask, do people like you?
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Pretty much...feeling that way most of my life. :oops:

When I am tired, angry or stressed it's more likely for me to go "full-blown Aspie" on people, which usually carries consequences. When my masking abilities are minimal or non-existent.
 
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Recall recently meeting a friend's mother, whom I had never met before. The first thing she asked me is if I had children. When I said no, she said "Your not a woman if you don't have children." I began to laugh quite loudly at the absurdity of the statement. Shook my head as she walked away. I looked at my friend, and said; "So if I was a cow and didn't have calves, I would no longer be a cow?" My friend sighed, and apologised for her mother. But I've noticed that we talk less now.
 
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Without any clues, I have no idea. I'm simply being myself most of the time, and winning over every last person isn't my specialty.
 
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Kalinychta said:
Generally speaking, as autistic people we simply do not fit in, and aside from those who successfully mask, most of us just seem weird, to varying degrees, to most people, to “normal” (NT) people.

I feel like a good three-quarters of the people I meet dislike me. Every now and again I meet someone who truly likes me, but most of the time I feel that people actually flat out don’t like me. I think they see me as aloof and stuck up and “out there” (i.e. not like them) and even irritable, and although I do quite well one-on-one with them (I love asking people questions and listening to them talk), I am utterly flabbergasted and overwhelmed and uncomfortable in groups of more than one.

Do you feel that you are generally disliked? When you mask, do people like you? When you don’t mask, how do people,—as I said, generally speaking,—feel about you? I’m not asking if they should like you or if you care that they like you. I am asking how you think they perceive you.
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Yes, most people I meet tend to not like me. However, I am also indifferent to most people I meet. So everything balances out. (In full disclosure, I have been tested and confirmed to have Alexithmia. So, I often have difficulty recognizing and understanding emotions.)

If I have to mask to get people to like me, I would not like them.
 
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It's hard to say. I do think most people dislike me, even I don't like me most days. But I'm convinced I can't read people, and I can't interpret properly their behavior, so who knows?

My usual behavior could be easily perceive as unfriendly, the kind of behavior a NT person would have in case of not wanting to be friend or associate in any ways with others — because I don't know what to say or do, very often I refrain from interacting with others — so people I've met briefly may very easily get that idea, and "briefly" is the norm since I haven't had close friends in years.
 
People don't like things they don't understand and few are open-minded enough to try to understand. It's as simple as that.[/QUOTE]

This. This really is the way that it is.
 
People that like me when i drop 'the mask' are few and become very special to me, sad thing is i want to be liked/accepted and need mass external validation, the majority of work colleagues don't 'get me' and i've let them judge myself and 'differences' harshly soaking the negativity and leading to anxiety and depression, but hey as a older person the mask is staying at home more and my more hardened attitute is 'stuff them'
 
I've become highly aware of how to behave in order to be liked. Before I got good at it, most people considered me to be annoying. And every once in a while, often enough to be considered regular, somebody absolutely, positively, passionately hates me.
 
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I mask pretty well and am generally friendly/respectful. People seem to mostly like me but also frequently detect my 'differentness'. They usually don't mention it to me, but I find out sometimes in roundabout ways.
 
Kalinychta said:
Generally speaking, as autistic people we simply do not fit in, and aside from those who successfully mask, most of us just seem weird, to varying degrees, to most people, to “normal” (NT) people.

I am asking how you think they perceive you.
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I think they view me as irrelevant. Trivial. Unimportant in the scheme of things. Maybe a nuisance if I stick in my 2 cents worth on a topic of concern. A PITA if I'm trying to get someone to follow thru on a promise they never expected to be called on.

Active dislike is rare. It has happened a couple of times that people just really disliked me enough to cause me a problem. Usually I am just ignored.

There are probably a few who think I'm creepy. I do like to get my clothes off on occasion. Even if they're not around when I do, there are probably some who still think it creepy and disturbing I'd even enjoy such a thing. It's just not normal. I'm supposed to stay in the closet about it. Ought never to even mention it.

But every person who is important in my life knows about it. If someone can't deal with something I'm enthusiastic about, they don't stay important to my life very long.
 
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Misery said:
Yep. Honestly, at this point, I dont even try anymore, to meet new people. I see it as an absolute waste of time.

I find that exceptions only happen in places that are just as "out there" as I am.
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I have to seek out other nudies like me or I'd never have any friends. Or find people into anime. For a long time, I lived for wargaming or D&D and met other "involuntarily unique" people that way. Science fiction clubs were also good places to meet people. Met a few interesting people in Mensa. Work, school, most clubs, other social activities, these are mostly a waste of time.
 
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