Do peoople ever treat you like you're stupid when they hear of your AS diagnosis?

[Chris]

I've told a couple of people who have been like 'OMG I'm SO sorry'... I'm like... what? Nothings changed and in my eye's its a good thing. -_-

 

[Emor]

-.-.
Me being 14(he thinks all 14 year olds are idiots) doesn't stop him being a total ****, but the minute it turns out I have a disorder he seems almost guilty :/.
EMZ=/

 

[Chris]

I hate people that discriminate because of age (agists?). Unless the subject is acting a considerably younger mental age, then it can just be an annoyance. You don't. I'd tell him where to go...

 

[Emor]

So do I >_>.
EMZ=]

 

[Suiseiseki]

no one ever hears
its the silent shame in my...well brain I guess

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

I had to tell one of my coworkers recently. I was just diagnosed this week, and I fell seriously behind on my midterm exam studying because of it, and we had a big work project due this week and I just couldn't function so I explained to him. When I saw him today he refused to make eye contact with me and seemed to be avoiding talking to me. Though I prefer to make a bit less eye contact than normal, and I can never figure out how much is too much or too little, I am not totally eye contact avoidant and since we've been working together for several months now I don't know if he was trying to be courteous or if he was being rude. Hmm.

 

[Calvert]

I don't know if he was trying to be courteous or if he was being rude.  Hmm.

He could be doing either. Making less contact in the hopes it will make you feel more comfortable or he could be avoiding you deliberately. You should ask him if it continues.

 

[Chris]

I think I'm keeping my diagnosis to myself, in regards to the majority of any people I know in real life. If anything I'm worried of their reactions lol. Would probably have to make a big post in this thread if I did.

 

[Willow]

A lot of people might see being informed of a diagnosis so late on as pointless. They might think you told them to get attention or help, neither of which you seem to have wanted before diagnosis. I think they will just find it hard because they saw you as one thing for so long that the you with a label is just difficult for them to accept. Also, they might have thought you were pretty much normal and might be upset thinking that you have something wrong.

 

[kurgen]

no, i just don't tell them what they don't need to know, the less the merrier ;-)
If they want to know something, just ask you know ;-)

 

[Ana54]

I think my mother would start yelling and screaming that it was all my fault after all if I told her I was NT. (I'm not, for the record, but if I got rediagnosed with... normality that would probably happen.


Personally, I don't kwwp anything from anyone any more because my biggest most important values are freedom of the press, honesty, transparency, all that. The solution to someone misunderstanding isn't "Don't tell them if you think they won't understand." the solution is "Make sure you tell everything, the WHOLE truth, so that they will understand."

 

[Emor]

I think my mother would start yelling and screaming that it was all my fault after all if I told her I was NT. (I'm not, for the record, but if I got rediagnosed with... normality that would probably happen.


Personally, I don't kwwp anything from anyone any more because my biggest most important values are freedom of the press, honesty, transparency, all that. The solution to someone misunderstanding isn't "Don't tell them if you think they won't understand." the solution is "Make sure you tell everything, the WHOLE truth, so that they will understand."

Ana, frankly, I think it's ludicrous to say being transparent is always the right thing to do.
If you're parents are going to treat you different for life, due to one's rather arrogant and trivial pursuit to inform them of something they really have little comprehension of anyway, it's almost definitely not the right thing to do.
People know me as Emma. Adding in some label would make them see me as a disability, no longer a person, thus I don't tell them.
It can be exhausting though, having to keep certain truths to yourself, and the reality of what people would think of you if they knew is depressing.
I mean, I just seriously don't understand what you'd be getting from telling everyone.
I know some people here and on other forums go on about how they're proud about 'coming out' as such as Aspie, but I honestly don't think it should matter. People should be able to accept you and your idiosyncrasies without some diagnosis, and if they can't, they're probably arrogant enough to be patronising and condescending, or even scared when you tell them you have a mental disorder/disability/w.e you want to call it.
Maybe I have a bias, considering very few people know about my disorder offline, and if they do they found out of accident most likely.
EMZ=]

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

"I was treated like **** by most people (including some family members) BEFORE my diagnosis. But when we found out I had AS everyone just...stopping being horrible. Go figure!"

This is what I expected to happen in my family, but my mom refuses to learn anything about autism so she doesn't understand how I am different and is insisting on treating me the same way.


ETA:

"People should be able to accept you and your idiosyncrasies without some diagnosis, and if they can't, they're probably arrogant enough to be patronising and condescending, or even scared when you tell them you have a mental disorder/disability/w.e you want to call it."

My friends ACCEPT me, but they do not UNDERSTAND me. There is a difference. That is why I was so happy to be able to tell them, because now they are finally going to understand.

 

[poodlepiglet]

I have not got a diagnosis, but people tend to either treat me either or, either like I am stupid or just weird (in purely social situations) or then people I have met under other circumstance (like studying together) will believe I am very intelligent, I heard that from a close friend, that I gave that impression to her and her friends, that I must have really good grades and stuff, but I didn't uni was all messed up for me, I did OK, for a few reasons. Or excuses (whatever) like I could base my whole studies in a subject around one small issue within the field and somehow manage to write an exam talking mostly about this issue in roundabout ways I would answer the question as well, but I would have to write about the subjects which were my speciality, somehow. Also how my exams went was dependent on where in the classroom or gym I was sitting I might have had good knowledge about a subject but not do so well due to being sat in a place where I was constantly distracted by something. In one exam the examguard was coughing loudly all the time, and I was so disturbed by his coughing I could barely write anything. I saw the other students sit and write, it was awful, I knew the subject but could not get anything down, I got something down in the end but it wasn't very good, and I knew it. When I later talked to one of the other students he seemed not to have been too bothered over the coughing.
I thought it would have been impossible for anyone to write an exam under such circumstances. Anyway, excuses aside, I keep being treated like either or even without a diagnosis.

 

[Emor]

"I was treated like **** by most people (including some family members) BEFORE my diagnosis. But when we found out I had AS everyone just...stopping being horrible. Go figure!"

This is what I expected to happen in my family, but my mom refuses to learn anything about autism so she doesn't understand how I am different and is insisting on treating me the same way.


ETA:

"People should be able to accept you and your idiosyncrasies without some diagnosis, and if they can't, they're probably arrogant enough to be patronising and condescending, or even scared when you tell them you have a mental disorder/disability/w.e you want to call it."

My friends ACCEPT me, but they do not UNDERSTAND me. There is a difference. That is why I was so happy to be able to tell them, because now they are finally going to understand.

I can understand how a diagnosis can provide more resources which can provide explanations but other than that a diagnosis imo is not required when explaining.
EMZ=]

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

Well, I tried to explain for 20 years and it never worked until now. *shrug*

 

[Emor]

I'm confused as to what part of it worked because from what you've said it doesn't seemed to have done.
I think I'm just trying to justify myself here and using you as an excuse tbh.
I'll shut up now .
EMZ=]

 

[Ana54]

emor, if they know EVERYTHING then they won't misunderstand. Misunderstanding is reserved for people who don't know everything.

 

[Emor]

emor, if they know EVERYTHING then they won't misunderstand. Misunderstanding is reserved for people who don't know everything.

But they can't possibly know everything.
'Hey, I'm Autistic' just really isn't the way imo. Weird or something's better or w.e. But Autistic has all these connotations and what not.
EMZ=]

 

[Emor]

People think I'm stupid without the diagnosis.
When they do find out about the diagnosis, honestly, I've actually broke down because the patronising has been so ****ing ridiculous. They talk to me really slowly, always smile around me and are happy as f*ck, etc.
EMZ=/