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Do people talk to you like you are a baby/idiot?

A

Aliza

Active Member
Honestly this is one of my biggest annoyances about being on the spectrum. When I inform people about my autism, they then feel like they have to speak to me as if they are speaking to a child. Like talking slower and more carefully as if to make sure I understand what they are saying. When people do this I normally just reply with "I have aspergers, I'm not an idiot. No need to talk to me like I'm 5." Anyone else deal with this??? I hate being rude back to people, because I'm sure they don't mean anything bad by it because they are just misinformed...but GOD IT IS SO ANNOYING
 
Yes, I have had this happen. I once went to a primary care doctor who treated me this way so I never went back. Also a woman working at the eye doctor assumed I couldn't read letters for an eye exam just because I was nervous in the crowded waiting room. Also went to a painting class once and didn't say I was on the spectrum but stimmed a lot so the teacher treated me weird and tried at the end of the class to teach me to clean the paintbrushes even though I was 20 and told her I had previous painting experience.
 
I've had people start to be more encouraging and forgiving and polite, in a sort of exaggerated way like you do with a child.

(BUT I LIKE IT:eek:) :D
 
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Sometimes other girls are like this to me. They don't speak to me exactly like an "idiot" or a "baby", but they do tend to talk to me or behave in a warm motherly manner, even girls my age. I suspect that they can sense my aspieness/awkwardness and so it triggers their maternal instincts. I don't particularly mind it though, since 9 times out of 10 it's coming from a good place. They are trying to be caring and kind, so that's something to appreciate.
 
I know a blind man with a similar problem. He's forever saying, "I'm blind not deaf!" because people keep getting right in his face and raise their voice when talking to him.
 
I have masked pretty well (though not perfectly) all my life so very few people know of my diagnosis. I have never been baby talked to by those who know, but I have been condescended to and blamed for every misunderstanding because being AS it MUST be me rather than them who is at fault...
 
No- never. At least not as an adult. But then I learned to keep my autism on an exclusively "need-to-know" basis.
 
Aliza said:
I share it only to people who need to know (professors, bosses, etc) and I still get treated like a child.
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That says more about them than you.

People who wield power over you and make a point that you never forget who is in control. :rolleyes:

Sadly that's bound to happen to just about everyone who is formally subordinate to another. A social dynamic about power- not autism. That I have experienced as an adult. :(

Personally I found student/professor relationships to be especially complex. Really good- and also really bad depending on the professor and whatever you interact with them over. Also reminds me of a high school PE teacher who judged students exclusively over how they did in state physical fitness tests. If you weren't a "jock" he treated you like a 3rd class citizen. Really? o_O
 
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Yes and after a head injury it was worse. I just go with it. There is not much else to do. I don't want to be angry at people. The only time it gets hard is when it becomes a pattern because then I can't speak up for myself.
 
Yes; went swimming w/ a group of kids from the Special Ed class in High School and the woman doing the instructing would talk to us like we were idiots/little kids, like the high pitched sing-songy voice one would use when talking to a baby or dog/cat
 
Yes. Even more so when the person doing it to me is one of the dumbest or more ignorant people.
And it's not so much baby talk or being talked to like a kid that gets under my skin it's the fact that they think i'm some idiot because i don't believe in their dangerous dogma's.

With one of my roomies she saw me as an intellectual at first. then after a few days of more discussions she found out i was anti-drug. Now when ever she does something extremely stupid and forgets about it (because of her poor memory) it's my fault. :oops: scapegoat.

Anyway. If i am talked to like a child I've noticed it's usually by stupid people with massive egos.
 
It happened me to just an hour ago!! I had to be at a party for work, well I was the musician, but I was forced to socialize a short while afterwards, and someone said something to me and everyone looked at me and I got super awkward and said something awkward and childish and the dood was like, "That's awesome, man," the same way you say it to a kid who just showed you his toys or somethin. Then I spent like a half hour wondering if I'm retarded. SO maybe I don't like it all the time.
 
No. Never was talked to like that.
I mask it very well and only a few know the diagnosis.
Mainly just physicians who may need to know to see the full picture of health problems
and of course the guy I live with.

He is the only one that sometimes tries to make me feel like an idiot and insults me with
saying no matter how many ways he explains something, I don't get. I'm hopeless, he says.
Again the scapegoat routine.
He says something that doesn't really make sense or is incomplete (leaving me to mind reading)
and he blames my autism. No one else would probably understand some of the things he says either.
And heaven forbid if I understand something he doesn't.
Then I'm accused of always needing to be superior and a smart ass.
Definite need to feel he has me under his control.

The doctors who know never act as if I'm incapable of understanding.
In fact after just a few minutes of talking with me they see I know the medical lingo
and realise I've had medical training. Usually ask if I am a nurse.
Makes for an easier conversation between us without the need to explain everything.
 
My own parents have treated me like this all my life. Now they blame me for having low confidence and next to no social skills. Never being shown a shred of respect will do that.

Aliza said:
I'm sure they don't mean anything bad by it because they are just misinformed
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I think they do it out of malice. It's a method of psychic vampirism. They're wanking, as it were.
 
Yes, and this is one of the reasons why I don't tell people unless they really need to know. Or I get told that I must be 'high functioning'.
 
No, never. I don't really tell people about my diagnosis that often, but the friends I've told haven't changed their behaviour afterwards, and I've disclosed at work and no one treats me any differently, presumably because universities attract quite a lot of aspies.
 
I have a coworker who talks to me like I’m a little girl showing him a drawing I made.
He doesn’t know I’m on the spectrum though.
 
This happens to me all the time. I've noticed that the moment professionals find out about my diagnosis, they start talking to me as if I'm a small, dumb child. They'll start explaining things to me about myself in a very simple way, and when I tell them that I am already aware of these things, they praise me like I'm a toddler.
I can't stand it and it makes me want to quit therapy.
 
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