Do people talk to you like you are a baby/idiot?

[SunnyDay16]

This happens to me all the time. I've noticed that the moment professionals find out about my diagnosis, they start talking to me as if I'm a small, dumb child. They'll start explaining things to me about myself in a very simple way, and when I tell them that I am already aware of these things, they praise me like I'm a toddler.
I can't stand it and it makes me want to quit therapy.

That's pretty inappropriate and unprofessional of them. They should know better.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I haven't really experienced this, besides a few teachers and some of the more obscure relatives of mine (meaning that either I haven't seen them since I was little, or not at all), but, when that does happen, I get annoyed. I mean, I am not a small child, so I don't need constantly faked praise all of the time. If I am 15 and be patient enough when somebody does this, I can handle a bit of criticism. It's very annoying otherwise. I usually tell them to stop kindly.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

This happens to me all the time. I've noticed that the moment professionals find out about my diagnosis, they start talking to me as if I'm a small, dumb child. They'll start explaining things to me about myself in a very simple way, and when I tell them that I am already aware of these things, they praise me like I'm a toddler.
I can't stand it and it makes me want to quit therapy.

That's pretty inappropriate and unprofessional of them. They should know better.

I agree, as well. That is extremely unprofessional. I bet somebody is going to get fired if they aren't careful.

 

[Kevin L.]

Yes.
My family does this to me, so I don't speak to them anymore.

They talk to me like I'm retarded because "I choose to be autistic", so if I don't want them to talk to me this way then I should "stop being autistic", because if I'm smart enough to know everything about trains, then I'm smart enough to know how to "be normal".

After all, the "rest of the whole world will talk to me this way", so they're doing me a favor by "getting me used to it" so that I'll be able to cope better.

And so on.

They've never accepted me for who I am, so I--tired of the verbal and emotional abuse--stopped talking to them.

I've also sued employers over similar issues.

 

[Sherlock77]

I'm generally careful who I tell it to, and I'm still technically self-diagnosed at this point... I know people will pre-judge me by just suggesting it...

But I've never experienced what you describe, likely because of what I've just said above

 

[Aliza]

You all have been very helpful and informative, thank you

 

[Horsegirl]

I have the same problem but backwards.
All of the girls who I semi know seem to think in stupid. They treat me like I'm five. Which really bothers me.
But when (if) I tell people about my aspergers, it's kind of an oh moment.
I'll just straightforward explain: "Yes I have Aspergers, but I'm not stupid. I can seem a little weird because I don't understand social cues."
And then they usually just say, "Oh, well thanks for telling me." Or something.

 

[OlLiE]

at their own peril

seriously though as i am bright and have always been hard to approach, my parents just left me to my own devices and told me to get on with it

 

[Bronzelincolns]

don't deal with people who won't treat you with respect.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

don't deal with people who won't treat you with respect.

Agreed.

 

[Mr Allen]

Some people online accuse me of being retarded.

I just tell them to get lost (I'd use stronger terms but I don't want warning points

Contrary to popular opinion, I am NOT retarded or daft, I know I'll never win Mastermind, but still.

 

[SunnyDay16]

Yes.
My family does this to me, so I don't speak to them anymore.

They talk to me like I'm retarded because "I choose to be autistic", so if I don't want them to talk to me this way then I should "stop being autistic", because if I'm smart enough to know everything about trains, then I'm smart enough to know how to "be normal".

After all, the "rest of the whole world will talk to me this way", so they're doing me a favor by "getting me used to it" so that I'll be able to cope better.

And so on.

They've never accepted me for who I am, so I--tired of the verbal and emotional abuse--stopped talking to them.

I've also sued employers over similar issues.

Your family is the worst.

 

[Alis1998]

A couple times when I had to tell them.
But then again if I do not tell them do not act like that. Which can be a problem on itself.
For example holding in my anger while im cutting a costumer who is litterlay insulting everybody on the spectrum. Happends quite regularly but the men I cutted yesterday was way too extreme.

 

[Mattymatt]

Honestly this is one of my biggest annoyances about being on the spectrum. When I inform people about my autism, they then feel like they have to speak to me as if they are speaking to a child. Like talking slower and more carefully as if to make sure I understand what they are saying. When people do this I normally just reply with "I have aspergers, I'm not an idiot. No need to talk to me like I'm 5." Anyone else deal with this??? I hate being rude back to people, because I'm sure they don't mean anything bad by it because they are just misinformed...but GOD IT IS SO ANNOYING

This has happened to me and continues to happen once in a while. I just ignore people that talk to me that way. I pretend they don't exist. When they get angry, I explain that I will listen when you speak to me like an adult. Sometimes I will just flat walk away from someone talking to me this way. In part, it keeps me from flying off the handle in anger.

 

[Mattymatt]

Same here. When I was first diagnosed I wanted to share it with the world; a very stupid idea on my part to say the least. Since my diagnosis, I carefully monitor my interactions so I don't come across as an idiot. It helps, but at the same time it can present other problems.

@Sportster I am sorry that it has come to that. I have to do the same and the constant monitoring is exhausting and energy draining.

 

[Mattymatt]

It's so sad to hear that even in today's supposedly more learned times we're still being treated as if we've got an intellectual disability. It hurts to read these stories.

 

[Ylva]

It's so sad to hear that even in today's supposedly more learned times we're still being treated as if we've got an intellectual disability. It hurts to read these stories.

I'd argue that people with intellectual disabilities also deserve to be taken seriously.

 

[Judge]

It's so sad to hear that even in today's supposedly more learned times we're still being treated as if we've got an intellectual disability. It hurts to read these stories.

Seems more often than not to be a stereotype perceived as a result of a hasty observation.

Where unfortunately "learned times" don't necessarily translate into "learned observers".

 

[Mattymatt]

I'd argue that people with intellectual disabilities also deserve to be taken seriously.

Anyone with a disability definitely deserves to be taken seriously and treated respectfully and with dignity.

 

[Judge]

Exactly; it's exhausting having to monitor myself. If I don't speak then they think I am rude or aloof and if I say something and the Aspie slips out, I'm treated like a child or referred to as retarded. That's why almost all of my social interactions are scripted. Yep, it's exhausting and energy-draining . . . UGH!!!

This. It's what can make our existence so difficult. Where any potential social interaction requires so much oversight on our part. Where we must step outside our body and be able to view it all from a different perspective, all while carrying on a conversation at the same time.

Yeah- exhausting, mentally and emotionally. And it never ends.