Do they like talking to you?

[Sev]

Does anyone else have this question constantly plaguing their mind every time you talk to someone; I get it all the time. Even ten minutes ago, I was talking with an old family friend over facebook and I couldn't stop myself from getting paranoid and thinking that they just don't have an interest in talking to me.

 

[nowwhat]

Oh, God. Way too close to home...

Cause if we're disinterested, we'll just say, "Sorry gotta go." and leave. But NTs usually have this thing where they can't just do that. They are all worried about our feelings, and start giving tiny, subtle hints, which we totally miss. And so on.

 

[Paige]

Do NT (neuro typical) have an interest in talking to me?

No not at all.

 

[King_Oni]

I think it depends on the people that might not like talking to me. But then again, those are the same people I don't have anything to share with in general.

I don't exchange information with people that can't share anything of interest to me, with me. Communication with my parents tends to be brief and to the point... and besides that, I don't really feel that people are trying to get out of dodging further conversation with me.

If anything I think the opposite is more true in that I rather try to end a conversation... perhaps it's even that I've lost interest in the conversation way before they lose interest though.

 

[Kelly]

I always think like that, whether it's face to face, forums or whatever, I always think people find me boring but don't say because that would be rude.

 

[tlc]

Yes. Story of my life for most everyone except my daughter and a little bit with family. I know better, but the feeling in my head just doesn't register that what I'm saying is of any importance or interest to them. Just one of those things you get better at forcing yourself to do even if it isn't natural.

 

[alien girl]

i worry about that too, because we aspies cant always tell when someone wants to keep talking or not. but if people dont want to talk to you, their answers will be very short, and sometimes they wont tell you anything new and just react to what you've said. like if you talk about the cold, they'll write something like, well, stay warm, instead of offering new information.

 

[Judge]

i worry about that too, because we aspies cant always tell when someone wants to keep talking or not. but if people dont want to talk to you, their answers will be very short, and sometimes they wont tell you anything new and just react to what you've said. like if you talk about the cold, they'll write something like, well, stay warm, instead of offering new information.

Or when we want to stop. When you get tired of talking to someone. At that point I'm preoccupied with how to disengage from the conversation as someone I'm talking to goes on and on. So inevitably it gets awkward as I lose track (and interest) with whatever they were saying.

I'm just thinking, "Someone get me outta here!" Ugh.

 

[Jimbo]

Yep. I have always felt like what I have to say is not really all that important, so I just don't say anything. There are times when I talk a lot if a person seems interested. I have come out of my shell more in my older years and do open up more than I used to.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I worry about that constantly, even on here. I'm constantly wondering if people are just being polite and want me to give a scripted reply and then shut up cause they were just being polite in the first place they don't really care, or if they're genuinely interested in talking to me. Most of the time i just don't talk cause experience has shown that people don't give a damn what i have to say, and if they do they're probably just pretending. And will only tell me otherwise when they're super mad at me for something else entirely. I even do it on here, question if my replying to a thread is just me butting in and being a third wheel or if its actually wanted.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I worry about that constantly, even on here. I'm constantly wondering if people are just being polite and want me to give a scripted reply and then shut up cause they were just being polite in the first place they don't really care, or if they're genuinely interested in talking to me. Most of the time i just don't talk cause experience has shown that people don't give a damn what i have to say, and if they do they're probably just pretending. And will only tell me otherwise when they're super mad at me for something else entirely. I even do it on here, question if my replying to a thread is just me butting in and being a third wheel or if its actually wanted.

Grumpy Cat nurse likes hearing from you. I think you have a lot of good things to say.

 

[Harrison]

I am guilty of waffling on for too long and then it occurs to me that the person has left the room, fell asleep or died of boredom.

 

[Etzelaire]

If they liked to, they would interact with me more often. That's what I think.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Oh, God. Way too close to home...

Cause if we're disinterested, we'll just say, "Sorry gotta go." and leave. But NTs usually have this thing where they can't just do that. They are all worried about our feelings, and start giving tiny, subtle hints, which we totally miss. And so on.

Totally true.

 

[DarkAscent]

When I was in secondary school, it was often like this for me. Most of my classmates had no interest in speaking to me because to them, I was "weird" and "rude" so they often left me alone and didn't invite me to join them etc.

At my current school (which is a special school) a lot of people were very interested in speaking to me, but I guess this is because they rarely have students from other schools joining them. They were also very friendly and welcoming too, and were very curious and inquisitive about my autism and what it's like to have autism. I now have a lot of friends and belong to a small and close group.

I guess it depends on who you approach or who approaches you etc and how they perceive you.

 

[Spiller]

Perhaps it's a little paranoia on my part, knowing about the various Aspie traits; I tend to be anxious talking, in case I'm being boring, then anxious being quiet, in case I'm being boring, then anxious about butting rudely into a conversation, then anxious about rudely quitting it.
I find conversation very enjoyable, I just wish I knew if others did

 

[Suiseiseki]

I naturally assume people dislike my company and have in my head a sort of period of time I wait in which to message someone or say hello.
I don't usually ask my friends to hang out so I only see them at doll meets.
Most of my time is spent alone, which is fine, it's what I most understand and can control.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Oh, God. Way too close to home...

Cause if we're disinterested, we'll just say, "Sorry gotta go." and leave. But NTs usually have this thing where they can't just do that. They are all worried about our feelings, and start giving tiny, subtle hints, which we totally miss. And so on.

When I'm disinterested, I also don't want to hurt the person's feelings. But I don't know how to get away. I definitely don't know how to give tiny hints. I think that it just appears to the other person like I am fascinated by what they are saying.
Either I've always missed hints that other people wanted to stop talking, or no one has ever given me those hints.
And I don't see how those hints are less hurtful to feelings.
If my best friend tells me he has to go (that's how our conversations end) my feelings are not hurt. But I think my feelings would be more hurt if I picked up on hints that the person was disinterested. This is because, if my best friend says he has to go, then maybe he actually does have a reason. Maybe he really is on his way somewhere else, and doesn't wnat to be late, or really does have to do something. But if a hint really does signal disinterest, then the hint is not saying the person actually has to be somewhere else, no, it is just saying that the person is bored by you.

 

[Spiller]

I don't know how to get away. I definitely don't know how to give tiny hints.

How do you escape? Part of why I get anxious when I attempt to go out and socialise is that I get trapped.. for hours sometimes, especially worrying when I have to be somewhere else at some point.. I have no clue about hinting and I really don't want to hurt others feelings, but even when I say, "Ooh, I've gotta go.", people carry on talking!, and I feel there're only so many times I can check the time before I come across as being rude in some way..
It all really comes down to the inability to understand and remember all the little scripts that compose normal social interaction.

 

[babybird]

I don't even know if people have an interest in talking to me. They've never told me, one way or the other.