Do you dislike children?

[Judge]

Only if and when they may scream at the top of their lungs when I am in close proximity of them. Particularly in large, crowded retail establishments.

 

[Suzanne]

Even when a child, I did not get on with children and so, no I do not like children. They are cruel and blunt, which for a sensitive female, is a bad mix. HOWEVER, I would never be cruel to a child and certainly would stand by one if hurt in anyway.

And I admit it, when speaking to mothers, I do tend to get vastly annoyed when the blighters are demanding attention, but of course, that is on me, because naturally mothers should be on demand.

Many say that children are innocent; but I find them the opposite.

 

[NDR2]

I love children. I enjoy spending time with them (I’m a child at heart, so that can particularly be fun at times). I know how to interact with young children and keep them entertained. I can remember when I was a child and how I’d want to be treated back then, and I always try to do the same thing with other children. I always want the best for children.

However, I’m not so good at taking care of children. That being said, I don’t think I could handle being a parent. As they say, parenting is the easiest job to botch. Any mistake on my part could possibly cause some lasting wounds. Parenting is also a 24/7 job, and that sounds a little much for me.

I’m sure many parents do take pride in bringing up their children. But at the end, having children is a choice - many people simply choose not to. That has nothing to do with whether they like children or not.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I worked for a farmer years ago late teen had to interact with his kids. HIs wife told me I was amazing with her children. Just being myself hanging with them explaining what their last name meant as they were also Dutch. I guess I made a real impression on them.

 

[Ken]

This is embarrassing and sad, but i don't like being around children, and because I'm a woman I practically feel guilty about it: i just never had a maternal instinct, although I believe in children and ther energy. But I've never felt any compulsion to have children and in our society it's almost expected that to be fully human you have to create offspring. I do believe for me it goes back to autism and is partly a sensory thing: I'm jolted by the yells and smell and sticky skin. I wonder if I'm mean or abnormal for not being maternal, for not having that impulse that other women seem to have so strongly even to the point of going into deep depression when they can't get pregnant. It doesn't bother me at all that I don't have children. Is something wrong with me?

Wow! Thank you for that.

Actually, your description of how you feel makes me feel better - by knowing that I am not all alone.

My issue is that I have an extreme case of pedophobia (fear of children). This has been for all my life. I was terrified of children when I was a child. I was in trouble a lot as a child because I could not "play" with other children. For me, it's a full on nightmare level terror. Family events are always a horror for me.

 

[Crossbreed]

...who raise up kids to be little thugs and bullies just like them.

Five of our sons were [are?] thugs, but certainly not with our blessing...

 

[RemyZee]

5jIwFXXFcMM

I can relate a tiny bit, but not much.

From the time I was very small, I've always wanted to be a wife and mother. With all my heart. Long dresses, children at my skirts, collecting eggs from the chickens, lots of big outdoor dogs and cats living under the house. Wide open spaces, lots of love.

When I hear a baby cry, my arms and breasts ache in sort of sympathy pains.

I do hate babysitting though. And I will only do it in emergency situations. I don't like watching children that are not my own. Especially from families where proper behavior was not modeled and taught from a young age. I don't tolerate it at all. It is overstimulating.

I remember when my daughter was small, moms in my apartment complex would come to my house and ask "Can you please watch ____, I have to run to the store/ have a date/ Dr appt/ etc". And I would nearly always deny them. Especially if their kid was really bratty and from a family that was loud and rude.

I was a single mom, and I took my child everywhere, I didn't see why they couldn't as well. It might be good for the tyke. Walking and talking and teaching.

One thing though, when I was in my early 20s, I worked as a photographer for children and families at a few of those mall shops. I learned to loathe toddlers. So screamy and bratty. Some would even break the props. But that was just a phase, because of my immaturity at the time, inexperience with young children, and my line of work. But still, I still craved to be married and have children of my own. I've always loved children, just not other people's crappily raised kids without manners.

So I totally get the overstimulating nature of kids, especially the ones that are raised wrong. But oh my gosh, I love children. I love babies. I love homeschooling and nurturing and quality time and picnics and going to museums with them and road trips and tidying and crafting and cooking and all things maternal.

But I have zero patience for bad kids. It's not their fault though. I often quote the Oompa Loompas about who to blame for children's behavior: "The mother and the father".

Curious whether you're autistic or NT?

 

[SusanLR]

I've never known the maternal instinct in my life. I knew from when I was a kid myself,
I would never want kids. Didn't even like dolls. Preferred toy animals to play with.
It never made me feel abnormal nor did I care what society thought.

I do think maternal desires in most cases are a built-in instinct. Something to do with genetics. Give a girl a doll and see how most cling to it and pretend it is real.
Next thing you know, they will be wanting to dress like a princess and pretend to have tea parties for them. It just comes naturally IMO. But not all have the same desires firing off inside.
I would not call it abnormal. A minority, maybe.

Societal expectations may play a big role for some and completely agree with @Outdated's post. Most people feel the need to belong and be accepted by the type of community they were raised in.

 

[Paradise]

This is embarrassing and sad, but i don't like being around children, and because I'm a woman I practically feel guilty about it: i just never had a maternal instinct, although I believe in children and ther energy. But I've never felt any compulsion to have children and in our society it's almost expected that to be fully human you have to create offspring. I do believe for me it goes back to autism and is partly a sensory thing: I'm jolted by the yells and smell and sticky skin. I wonder if I'm mean or abnormal for not being maternal, for not having that impulse that other women seem to have so strongly even to the point of going into deep depression when they can't get pregnant. It doesn't bother me at all that I don't have children. Is something wrong with me?

Not at all, you probably knew before your incarnation, that having children was not in your contract, and this is why you feel so strongly about it, my advice is to not question yourself, or compare yourself to others, trust your intuition, you do not have to justify yourself to anyone, how you feel, is far greater than how you think with ego, just focus every day on the present moment.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

5jIwFXXFcMM

Curious whether you're autistic or NT?

Autistic, big time, with a heaping helping of ADHD .

 

[tree]

No, I don't in general dislike children.

I really enjoy a person with a four or five year old mentality.
And playfulness.

 

[Masked Man]

I like kids ok in small doses. My neighbors have two kids - a six month old and one that is about 4 or 5 (I can't remember his age). They are okay until the older one starts to have a screaming fit/tantrum, then I remember why I would not be cut out to be a parent. I hate noise and need lots of alone time to maintain my sanity. Plus, having children is prohibitively expensive unless you are financially privileged, which I am not. So it would be a bad idea for me to have kids.

 

[Crossbreed]

Plus, having children is prohibitively expensive unless you are financially privileged,...

"By the yard, life is hard.
By the inch, it's a cinch."
paraphrasing John Bytheway​

 

[RemyZee]

"By the yard, life is hard.
By the inch, it's a cinch."
paraphrasing John Bytheway​

Lol for a moment I thought you were referring to a person who has the actual name John Bytheway. I googled it and there actually is a John Bytheway...an inspirational author.

 

[Crossbreed]

Lol for a moment I thought you were referring to a person who has the actual name John Bytheway. I googled it and there actually is a John Bytheway...an inspirational author.

A variation of that quote is attributed to him.

 

[Cutesie]

On a different support site, a member wrote very guiltily about his "fear of infants". (The individual is biologically female, and identifies with he/they.) I helped him to understand that it's not babies that he's afraid of. Any crying disturbs him greatly, and there's nervousness around handling babies; otherwise, he loves them. Though not diagnosed, we think it likely that he's autistic. I bring this example because there are probably others with similar issues, who would also benefit from reframing how they think about their own feelings.

Like some other commenters, I love children as an uncle. Holding and cuddling babies is therapeutic for me. I can interact physically (appropriately, of course) with children, while touching grown-ups disturbs me. As someone who gets comfort from acting childish, I love to play with little kids and to listen to music with them.

Would I want children of my own? It's hard to say, because I'm so far from being responsible enough for it to even be a question. In our community, partners (we only have relationships within marriage) are usually met through intermediaries. It's now several years since I told people to stop looking for me. I'm not saying "never", because my end goal is to be a responsible adult, and that could very well include being a parent.

 

[Judge]

Many years ago I bonded with my girlfriend's daughter remarkably well over a three-year period. Though I've always seen this as an isolated case involving different circumstances where I was asked to take on parental responsibilities for which I was not initially prepared for.

That in itself was certainly an important "life experience" to me. Learning enough to know just how tough parenting can really be.

I'd like to think I do well with children, but am not entirely sure. Though I thought I did well with my own nephew when he was young. Yet I didn't have to really take care of him on so many levels in comparison.

 

[Rachie]

I do not dislike children at all.

I have two brothers and one sister. There is quite some difference in ages. My two brothers are both younger than me. Today I am 51 and my brother M is 45 and my youngest brother is 41. He is just had his birthday and mine is upcoming soon to be 52 next month. My oldest sister is 54. You see there is a big age among us, so me at at 20 my brother was 9. I loved looking after him and I didn't really need anyone else even at the weekends from age 7 in fact. We were like a glue magnet till he was 13. I enjoyed every last minute and taught him according to him some values.

Now I didn't have children of my own but my siblings all did. I am an auntie to 8 today. The vast majority I did stints and years of looking after them, some would involve sleep arounds for a few at times supported in the family home earlier on in my life and as well like going to college in my early 20s with my little neice in toe some wondering if we were sisters. I loved looking after them but with my health I also I needed to give them back, but had that gift to me of looking after children.

I have childish qualites and often get them and can go on my knees to them to beg forgiveness for not being around in my later life as well due to health.

After hospital once I did a Rhyme Time in a library singing to the little pre school classic nursey rhymes but illness concluded that for me unfortunetly.

Children are blessings to me.

 

[Judge]

I sometimes wonder whether or not some of us (maybe many) have an innate ability to identify with children, even as adults?

That our comfort level socially may be much better with young children than with our actual peers.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I sometimes wonder whether or not some of us (maybe many) have an innate ability to identify with children, even as adults?

That our comfort level socially may be much better with young children than with our actual peers.

It would be a kind of symmetry. As a child, I related much better to adults than with other children.