Do you evaluate what has just taken place even if it is insignificant?

[Gift2humanity]

I realise I am not social, but, really don't care.
If someone passing by says Goodmorning or even just Hi, I will reply, although I don't care to
unless it is someone I know.

I never make the first acknowledgement.
But, I can and do return theirs. And, yes, sometimes they want more and will say something
like it looks like rain today.
I will reply something like, "Yes, it certainly does."

These social greetings are expected I suppose. It doesn't bother me if they slip on by without
saying anything.
The one greeting I dread is the asking of how I am I doing today.
This usually happens formally at a doctor's appointment when the nurse calls you in.
I don't know or should say I do know what they want to hear, but, I don't want to say it.
So, I don't. They get a nod and a smile and maybe an OK.

It makes me wonder if people actually want that connection upon seeing another human,
or were they taught this as a child and it became a natural thing to do.

While it is polite to say good morning in the workplace setting I often used to sing it was meaningless and people didn’t really care but I had a good morning and I never really cared if Wireless is polite to say good morning in the workplace setting I often used to sing it was meaningless and people didn’t really care but I had a good morning and I never really cared if they did.
The same with being asked “how are you doing“.

Neuro typical is say a lot of things that they don’t need to insincere things. It is only since I have researched autism and been diagnose but I have realise this, prior to this Neuro typical is say a lot of things that they don’t need to insincere things. It is only since I have researched autism and been diagnose but I have realise this, prior to this are used to feel weird for thinking this I used to feel weird for thinking this.

 

[Gift2humanity]

One of the hallmarks - possibly the most important one in ASD-1 - is the inability to read social cues. You simply do not know if what you said was appropriate or not.

You learn that insecurity because of all the times you thought you responded correctly and it turned out that your response was thought inappropriate and the actual response they wanted was based on an unwritten social code that everyone knows but you. So you get ignored or ridiculed, or someone gets angry, or maybe you just get silently labeled as creepy and not suitable for further socialization. It happens enough to make you doubt the value of life.

That leaves you second-guessing yourself all the time.

If it is someone I know, I might venture into a conversation. Otherwise, I protect myself by proffering a cheery "G'mornin!" or "G'day!" in return - possibly adding something innocuous about the weather if they seem to want more - and then avoiding further contact. If I'm not going to follow up on the greeting, I don't need to concern myself about whether I delivered it correctly.

The inability to read social cues is something that I have.
I do not believe that all people The inability to read social cues is something that I have.
I do not believe that all people On the spectrum have problems reading social cues. I know I bang on about On the spectrum have problems reading social cues. I know I bang on about Reading fiction improving the ability to socialise however I figure it is okay to repeat this obsession of mine among fellow autistics.
Children autistic or not can benefit socially from reading fiction.
well my social difficulties have caused me a lot of depression I am really sorry to hear that you doubt the value of life.

People have behave negatively towards me because of social mistakes and it is disheartening. It did knock my self-confidence. The inability to respond to a negative comment from somebody or an inappropriate sexual comment had me feeling vulnerable.

Neuro typical sex expecters to say so many unnecessary things like how are you doing. “Did you have a good weekend“ and the things that nobody really cares about. Hugs are another thing that are given out meaninglessly and at Christmas time and New Year’s these fake greetings are aplenty, but now We know we are on the spectrum we know we are not being weird creepy We know we are on the spectrum we know we are not being weird creepy, And other negative things.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I struggle with this one too. It seems such a vague question. I could say anything, would need time to, but vague questions often make it difficult to answer well.

I wonder this too. It could just be societal expectations, especially in the older generations.

Some people look at me. I nod.
Some people look and say something. I reply.
Some speak even when I have earphones in. I hear them and only sometimes reply.
Some people don't answer me if I say 'good morning'.
Clearly there are no norms.

I do not like vagueness.
With the exception of simple politeness there is so much meaningless words that neuro typical is say. I think that this made me a chatterbox With the exception of simple politeness there is so much meaningless words that neuro typical is say. I think that this made me a chatterbox Or at least contributed to it, because I was uncomfortable with awkward silences.

Yes the world is made of allsorts. Good morning is false however it is another word for hello which people feel they have to say to each other. If somebody says hello to someone and that of the person says nothing back I do think that is rude.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Me neither. If I'm looking at them and they make eye contact I will nod. I might be looking at them with sunglasses on, and they won't know I am looking. If I see them looking I might nod, surprising myself as I didn't have to. Or they surprise me with a nod of there own, when I'm wearing dark glasses, which to me is an assumption I'm even looking as they cannot see my eyes, I sometimes don't respond because I might not have been.

I am not very good with I contact. You do not seem rude and it is not moved it to people pass each other without saying anything I just think it’s rude if one person says hello and the other person doesn’t.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Really shallow, I have been shallow myself because I allowed myself to be brainwashed that way.

If you're walking along, perhaps with earphones in and you're in your own world, looking at your own thoughts, or just being present, and somebody you don't know says good morning, do you feel you have to answer? And if you don't or didn’t answer, does it feel like you've been rude and ignored them, or are you okay without doubt? Can you carry on exactly as you were, unaffected by the fact that you did not reply? I should have the right to continue my silence without feeling bad about it.

Sometimes I do this. Even though I know I have the right to stay in my own space, do my own thing, and there is no expectation for anything from me, sometimes, after I have continued on in my silence without replying, I feel bad, like I've avoided a moment of acknowledgement and interaction with a fellow human, rather than stayed where I thought I wanted to be.

If I am centred and balanced, and don’t feel like they are interrupting me, and it can happen that they are interrupting my creative process, but if I am centred and present, and I just continue walking as if nobody said a thing, there is an empowering from it. Like I am being more of who I really am.

but if I've been pretty isolated and maybe I haven't spoken to anyone for ages, it can definitely feel like I've avoided having the slightest of interactions with another human, and somehow I needed it, which is why I noticed the loss of the opportunity afterwards.

So there is no easy solution for me in this matter. Normally, I just let whatever happens be what happens, and it's rare for somebody to speak to me unexpectedly anyway. If they do, I respond, and then return to my inner state, rather than resisting it and realising resisting is not a good place for me to be.

I don’t think you should feel bad about enjoying your silence, it’s just the expectations of society, most people do not know how to be silent including myself but that is just because I have spent so much time masking and copying neuro typical I don’t think you should feel bad about enjoying your silence, it’s just the expectations of society, most people do not know how to be silent including myself but that is just because I have spent so much time masking and copying neuro typical behaviour.

As for your second paragraph you may feel for therapeutic reasons that you need that space, that silence yeah you’re the person is not to know. Neuro typical is can be Really shallow, I have been shallow myself because I allowed myself to be brainwashed that way.

As for your third paragraph I agree but again neuro typical is might not understand this.

Maybe you only notice the loss of opportunity to connect with somebody after the event if you have isolated yourself possibly if you are overwhelmed by people at that time? I may be wrong here because I may have misinterpreted this paragraph.

I think it sounds a good idea socially in these instances to “let it be”.

 

[Gift2humanity]

This kind of interaction is so weird to me. I know I walk away thinking, "No useful information was exchanged. What good was that?"

But if I agree with them that it looks like rain, NT's walk away thinking, "That guy is friendly!"

I can identify with this in your first paragraph. The second paragraph you are actually having a meaningful exchange, someone is commenting it looks like rain and you agree and it isn’t just talking for the sake of talking because we feel we have to. I have been guilty of this.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I find this type of interacting as strange also.
@Nervous Rex I think there was no useful information exchanged also.
But, I also know this is what most NT's want and will think you rude if you do not respond.
So I can do at least a nod to show I heard them.

Sometimes it doesn't matter if they think I am unfriendly or rude without it bothering me.
This is especially true for me in a store or department store.
I pay people no attention while shopping and dread having to interact with the cashier.

Once while shopping in mall with people all around, my friend who was with me remarked
that I acted like I was the only person there.
I told him that's how I am able to maneuver through the crowd.

Yes, I only realised about myself that I talk for the sake of talking because it is expected of me. I don’t mind if somebody says “it’s got really cold hasn’t it Yes, I only realised about myself that I talk for the sake of talking because it is expected of me. I don’t mind if somebody says “it’s got really cold hasn’t it“ As this is actually saying something relevant. This “ As this is actually saying something relevant.This thread is making me realise more how in the past I talked for the sake of talking.

If you know you are not being rude then there is no problem because of these silly expectations of society.

I actually found it easier to strike up a conversation with a stranger rather than someone I know because the people I know got to know how I got on their nerves where are strangers don’t.

As for the last part of your posts you have to do what you have to do.

 

[Gift2humanity]

When people ask me how I'm doing, I just say, "I'm alive."

The people who hear it can interpret it however they want. Usually, they think it means that I am thankful for being alive. Sometimes they think it means I've just endured some crisis or trial and have survived. There are probably other interpretations.

To me, it is a simple statement of fact with no meaning beyond what I have said. Requires no commitment whatsoever on my part.

I think this is an excellent way to respond, it is truthful.
Maybe you are one of the lucky people on the spectrum who are quickwitted.