Do You Ever Think Out Loud/Talk to Yourself Without Realizing It?

[Myway]

I talk to myself all the time. It is fun and helps me think out different situations easier. It also makes me more social at times.

 

[ItalianAspie]

All the time.

 

[nbtxdude]

I talk to myself all the time. Sometimes in my own private language. Yeah, that makes me stand out more, but I deal with it and typically am very soft spoken...

 

[cherryq]

I often catch myself thinking out loud or telling myself the order in which to do things. Usually it's quiet and under my breath so others don't seem to notice it very often. Other times I will purposefully think out loud or talk myself through situations so that I can think more clearly.

 

[donn]

This is actually what brought me to the site, and will be my first post. I just had a housemate ask if I was "socially retarded" and, when I asked why he hadn't spoken to me about some issues he had been bottling up, he replied that he was scared to set me off, since I'm "always babbling to [myself] down there. It's scary."

Our kitchen, living room, and the other bedrooms are upstairs, while my room and work area are downstairs, so I had no idea that they were able to hear me. Even then, I didn't realize till today just how unsettling and unusual my habit apparently is. I honestly thought that everyone started at least an inner dialogue within ten minutes of being alone, seeing as how I can't go five without the conversation spilling out. I'm starting to get the sense that, in fact, other people really do have quiet in their own heads.

Monologues, dialogues, expositions, debates, stories, acting out daydreams - in private, I basically talk to myself almost 24/7 if I'm not reading or writing. A good enough show or music stands a chance of quieting it down, and I've worked to find ways to pass it off or keep it quiet in public. Until reading some of these "talking to yourself threads" I, again, assumed that everyone was essentially doing the same thing - talking their way through the grocery store, commenting on mall displays to themselves, etc, and I was just slightly less skilled at hiding it. Apparently not.

 

[ancusmitis]

I also tend to draft and redraft statements by saying them out loud, and I don't usually worry too much about where I am. I wonder sometimes what people think when they see me repeating myself with slightly different tonalities and emphases, sometimes a different word.

 

[donn]

I also tend to draft and redraft statements by saying them out loud, and I don't usually worry too much about where I am. I wonder sometimes what people think when they see me repeating myself with slightly different tonalities and emphases, sometimes a different word.

Ohhh yeah. It's actually a great talent if you ever do try to perform a bit of acting or poetry reading, even if just for yourself.

 

[ChrisC1983]

i talk to myself 24/7 outloud... ironically because i have nobody else to talk to, eventhough me talking to myself makes sure i have nobody else to talk to
if i notice somebody is around i usually will be quieter but i'll still have a whisper tone for the most part. i can stay quiet if need be but all i end up doing is going through the same stuff in my head as i would have outloud. so although i'm quiet i end up zoning out so it's tough to get/keep my attention

and the more stressed i am, the worse my memory becomes. at this point i'm so stressed if you tell me "grab that bucket and shut the door" by the time i get the bucket i not only forgot to shut the door but i forgot where i'm going with the bucket.. if you say anything more, just give up. in the morning i get dressed, grab my cell phone, turn off the AC and the TV (i usually sleep with the sound.. it gives me something to focus on instead of an inward spiral) and i always forget atleast 1 of those things every morning for the last month.. sometimes 2. maybe i'll forget the phone, maybe i'll be halfway out the door without pants.. i've forgotten all of them at 1 point or another this past month

 

[DogwoodTree]

I'm confused...is "talking to yourself" strictly an out loud activity, where someone else can hear you, like this:

he replied that he was scared to set me off, since I'm "always babbling to [myself] down there. It's scary."

...or does it also include inner dialog? Or even just, only inner dialog?

I honestly thought that everyone started at least an inner dialogue within ten minutes of being alone, seeing as how I can't go five without the conversation spilling out. I'm starting to get the sense that, in fact, other people really do have quiet in their own heads.

This, to me, seems to be talking about two different versions of "talking to yourself." There's the "inner dialogue", and there's the "conversation spilling out".

If "talking to yourself" is strictly the out loud part, then you wouldn't be able to conclude that "other people really do have quiet in their own heads" just from the fact that they don't talk out loud to themselves.

But if "talking to yourself" includes inner dialog, and other people don't do that either, then I agree with you--I have no idea what's going on in their heads. What would that even look/sound like? How do they think if they're not visual (because not everyone is a visual thinker) and if they don't have the inner dialog of talking to themselves?

(Note: I do both. I have layers of pictures and videos and kinesthetic thoughts going all the time, and inner dialog going along on top of that much of the day...although in my case, whatever inner dialog is happening is also visual, because I "see" the words.)

I, again, assumed that everyone was essentially doing the same thing - talking their way through the grocery store, commenting on mall displays to themselves, etc, and I was just slightly less skilled at hiding it. Apparently not.

Again, seems like two different things here. What brought you to conclude, just because your housemate thought you were retarded because you talk out loud to yourself, that he is not talking to himself inside his head?

When I was in 3rd grade, we had some free reading/play time in class sometimes. Some kids played games, but I always just read a book. One day I was lying on the floor reading, and saying the words out loud to myself. Another girl nearby asked me to read the words silently in my head. That's the first time I realized other people didn't want to hear the thoughts in my head. So I learned to keep my reading--and my self-conversations--inside.

But there is still most definitely an inner dialog...conversations galore...all day long. Like you said, I can't go ten minutes alone without the engine revving up, so to speak. In fact, oftentimes I'm annoyed at people talking to me because they're interrupting my inner commentary.

 

[BIMOG]

I talk to myself both internally and externally but often the words are totally meaningless gibberish.

 

[Cosmophylla]

(Note: I do both. I have layers of pictures and videos and kinesthetic thoughts going all the time, and inner dialog going along on top of that much of the day...although in my case, whatever inner dialog is happening is also visual, because I "see" the words.)

Same here.

But there is still most definitely an inner dialog...conversations galore...all day long. Like you said, I can't go ten minutes alone without the engine revving up, so to speak. In fact, oftentimes I'm annoyed at people talking to me because they're interrupting my inner commentary.

And same here. My son always picks those moments when I'm totally engaged with my inner self to make requests of me.

 

[DogwoodTree]

My son always picks those moments when I'm totally engaged with my inner self to make requests of me.

Oh so true. But then...if I'm "totally engaged with my inner self" about 90% of the day...it's not a hard target to hit, lol.

 

[donn]

I'm confused...is "talking to yourself" strictly an out loud activity, where someone else can hear you, like this:



...or does it also include inner dialog? Or even just, only inner dialog?



This, to me, seems to be talking about two different versions of "talking to yourself." There's the "inner dialogue", and there's the "conversation spilling out".

If "talking to yourself" is strictly the out loud part, then you wouldn't be able to conclude that "other people really do have quiet in their own heads" just from the fact that they don't talk out loud to themselves.

But if "talking to yourself" includes inner dialog, and other people don't do that either, then I agree with you--I have no idea what's going on in their heads. What would that even look/sound like? How do they think if they're not visual (because not everyone is a visual thinker) and if they don't have the inner dialog of talking to themselves?

(Note: I do both. I have layers of pictures and videos and kinesthetic thoughts going all the time, and inner dialog going along on top of that much of the day...although in my case, whatever inner dialog is happening is also visual, because I "see" the words.)



Again, seems like two different things here. What brought you to conclude, just because your housemate thought you were retarded because you talk out loud to yourself, that he is not talking to himself inside his head?

When I was in 3rd grade, we had some free reading/play time in class sometimes. Some kids played games, but I always just read a book. One day I was lying on the floor reading, and saying the words out loud to myself. Another girl nearby asked me to read the words silently in my head. That's the first time I realized other people didn't want to hear the thoughts in my head. So I learned to keep my reading--and my self-conversations--inside.

But there is still most definitely an inner dialog...conversations galore...all day long. Like you said, I can't go ten minutes alone without the engine revving up, so to speak. In fact, oftentimes I'm annoyed at people talking to me because they're interrupting my inner commentary.

There was once a famous priest, some time in the European Dark Ages - I think he might have been eventually named a saint - who people would travel to see. They came most of all, not for sermons, but to watch him read. Judging by what little records remain, it amazed them that this priest could read silently, not voicing aloud the words from the page. This was counted by some to be a miracle in and of itself, which speaks to the tendency, in a largely illiterate society, of people to voice aloud their thoughts. There are many other snippets, from sources such as Homer, about the difficulty that people naturally used to have in hiding emotions or maintaining silent inner monologues.

While others certainly have inner dialogues and monologues, I now doubt it is at a rate or of a quality similar to my own. Doubtless they all have some, but in what sense? These same people will say that "we all talk to ourselves out loud" but by that they mean only a few snatched sentence fragments or exclamations a day. Could they, if they experienced an inner dialogue as powerful and consistent as mine, all naturally and easily control it?

My inner monologue much of the time (in public) is silent, but there it is also dampened. Once I am alone it enlivens - the richness of the whole experience increases dramatically until it begins to spill out unconsciously. I have difficulty imagining that most people share my experience but not my tendency to let it out. That would be a display of considerable focus and control, which while entirely possible, is the sort of thing that has to be developed and worked on. While I could be wrong, I very much doubt that most people walking by me on the street would be capable of doing this without some training.

 

[DogwoodTree]

My inner monologue much of the time (in public) is silent, but there it is also dampened.

Yes...around people, I have to settle it all down some if I anticipate having to interact with those people. If, however, I'm fairly certain no interaction will be required (such as when riding on a plane or walking through a store that isn't too crowded), my thoughts are still going along as usual.

I have difficulty imagining that most people share my experience but not my tendency to let it out.

Well, I rarely talk to myself out loud, unless it's part of a really complex set of thoughts where I need to "hold" a thought in my auditory memory so I can recall it from the sound of it, while processing something deeper. But there is nearly constant dialog going on inside. And I only say "nearly" because sometimes the thoughts are flowing too quickly to bother with words. At those times, only images and impressions and whole-idea-thoughts can handle the speed of it (like feeling the impression of an entire sentence without going through each word of the sentence, almost like seeing the whole sentence diagrammed and knowing what it's saying by the shape of the diagram). But then, I'm extremely introverted, and extremely protective of my inner thoughts/feelings due to the way I was raised.

While I could be wrong, I very much doubt that most people walking by me on the street would be capable of doing this without some training.

Hm, I need to quiz some of the people in my world who let me pick their brains on this kind of thing. Seems to me like most people would think via internal dialog, but then, I only recently discovered that most people don't feel people touching from across the room, either. (Apparently, I have mirror-touch synesthesia. If I see someone being touched, I feel that touch on myself. I thought everyone did...until about a month ago.)

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I have long conversations with myself, and I've noticed that sometimes it's obvious to others that I am, in fact, not actually present except in body. Often I do speak aloud...and feel crazy. What really separates me from the homeless shouter of proverbs and end-time prophecies, the man in rags?

So most of my self-talk, my thinking-out-loud, gets done when I'm alone. Or think I am. (glances about)

 

[donn]

Yes...around people, I have to settle it all down some if I anticipate having to interact with those people. If, however, I'm fairly certain no interaction will be required (such as when riding on a plane or walking through a store that isn't too crowded), my thoughts are still going along as usual.

Well, I rarely talk to myself out loud, unless it's part of a really complex set of thoughts where I need to "hold" a thought in my auditory memory so I can recall it from the sound of it, while processing something deeper. But there is nearly constant dialog going on inside. And I only say "nearly" because sometimes the thoughts are flowing too quickly to bother with words. At those times, only images and impressions and whole-idea-thoughts can handle the speed of it (like feeling the impression of an entire sentence without going through each word of the sentence, almost like seeing the whole sentence diagrammed and knowing what it's saying by the shape of the diagram). But then, I'm extremely introverted, and extremely protective of my inner thoughts/feelings due to the way I was raised.

My case and the suppositions that follow, are doubtless influenced by the fact that I seem to be hyper-literary. One sign of being on the spectrum is the tendency to collect and organize certain objects - I reorder my small personal library on a regular basis, for the sheer joy of it. From what I've read in this thread, Aspies who talk less out loud tend to have more intense visual and kinesthetic experiences in their heads. I have some of those as well (I used to think of them more as a sort of childish holdover, these incredible daydreams) and when I have them I do not talk out loud. It's far more similar to watching, and being part of, a movie. They are intensely immersive, to the point that I often don't see or hear other people as the scene roles out in my head, but it doesn't trigger my verbalization in the same way.

I might guess that part of why I talk so much (even by this thread it seems that three or four hours would be high for an Aspie, but not at all unusual for me) is perhaps because of the subject matter. Literature, philosophy, and economics could be classified as special interest areas for me, and they all lend themselves towards a solely verbal or written expression. If I were to compare the "out loud" expressions of these to me "inner eye" viewing of other scenes, I'd say that, without a doubt, I'm using a much higher overall level of language.

I would say that, when I verbalize things out loud, I am as immersed in the experience of pure language as I am by the totality of sense-experience during those intense daydream-movies. Often, I have absolutely no consciousness of not only my surrounding, but also what I have just said or am about to say; I'm just rolling in and through the words and ideas. In particular, accurately hearing the sounds of words affects the style and overall shape of thought, which I'm sure makes the dialogue in my head seem flat by comparison. Once I was aware of this, my tendency to think out loud began to increase - it occurs to me that the transition point from inner to outer often occurs just as certain voice mannerisms are added to my inner dialogue.

There used to be more internal dialogue when I was much younger, that I'm sure of. As you alluded to, the speed of thought was particularly important to me at that time, though I'm sure I still compensate by speaking in half-sentences, dropping the ends off words, etc. It still occurs every day, but it is much less refined in terms of the language experience and, as a result, tends to be less intense when applied to my favorite areas.

Hm, I need to quiz some of the people in my world who let me pick their brains on this kind of thing. Seems to me like most people would think via internal dialog, but then, I only recently discovered that most people don't feel people touching from across the room, either. (Apparently, I have mirror-touch synesthesia. If I see someone being touched, I feel that touch on myself. I thought everyone did...until about a month ago.)

Discovering that most people don't feel such a touch must have been quite a shock!

With things like this, I'm sure the differences will all be matters of type and degree, not just between Aspie's and NT's, but between all individuals. Such things will be very hard to measure.

 

[donn]

I have long conversations with myself, and I've noticed that sometimes it's obvious to others that I am, in fact, not actually present except in body. Often I do speak aloud...and feel crazy. What really separates me from the homeless shouter of proverbs and end-time prophecies, the man in rags?

So most of my self-talk, my thinking-out-loud, gets done when I'm alone. Or think I am. (glances about)

I'm far more erudite than the average apocalyptic sooth-sayer!

So that's one difference. As for the second....um....hygiene?

 

[DogwoodTree]

Literature, philosophy, and economics could be classified as special interest areas for me, and they all lend themselves towards a solely verbal or written expression.

I'm not very interested in economics, but literature and philosophy are intriguing to me in their own ways (I have a philosophy minor). However, for me they're not at all limited to verbal expression or understanding. If anything, the verbal only comes later in my thought processes to help me solidify certain ideas, especially in the context of trying to share my ideas at some point. My remembering and experiencing of ideas take place on a visual and kinesthetic level, almost exclusively, even for literature (stories) and philosophy (ideas). Translating those ideas into words is tedious and rarely accurate or complete.

In particular, accurately hearing the sounds of words affects the style and overall shape of thought, which I'm sure makes the dialogue in my head seem flat by comparison. Once I was aware of this, my tendency to think out loud began to increase - it occurs to me that the transition point from inner to outer often occurs just as certain voice mannerisms are added to my inner dialogue.

This is interesting to me. The challenge of translating my ideas into verbal expression actually detracts from the richness of the ideas for me, at least, in most cases. Although there are times when I've set about giving as rich a translation of something as I could into words, and then reading back over it gives me additional insight I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. The act of defining even a single word, for me, can become an adventure.

but it doesn't trigger my verbalization in the same way.

Maybe this is why I don't talk out loud so much and can keep it inside my head so well. The verbal processing is secondary...tertiary even...to the visual and kinesthetic, which are not so easily "leaked".

 

[donn]

I'm not very interested in economics, but literature and philosophy are intriguing to me in their own ways (I have a philosophy minor). However, for me they're not at all limited to verbal expression or understanding. If anything, the verbal only comes later in my thought processes to help me solidify certain ideas, especially in the context of trying to share my ideas at some point. My remembering and experiencing of ideas take place on a visual and kinesthetic level, almost exclusively, even for literature (stories) and philosophy (ideas). Translating those ideas into words is tedious and rarely accurate or complete.

It's strange to think back as I read your posts, because I remember that I used to be much more like you in this regard. Voicing my thoughts just seemed to slow me down, with little or no benefit. It's very difficult to figure out at what point it started to change, but I'm sure one influence were Oxford Union style debates, which I took to listening to.

I have something of a natural talent for debates, particularly formal ones, and began to notice how massively inadequate all but the very best debaters were in their delivery, apart from various other issues. My dialogues in my head have always had a bit of the exposition/debate quality to them, and I started to notice that my silent versions mirrored some of the issues I noticed in the debaters. Doubtless, my perfectionism refused to allow this to continue and forced me to practice the added nuances until it began to feel natural.

This is interesting to me. The challenge of translating my ideas into verbal expression actually detracts from the richness of the ideas for me, at least, in most cases. Although there are times when I've set about giving as rich a translation of something as I could into words, and then reading back over it gives me additional insight I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. The act of defining even a single word, for me, can become an adventure.

Etymology for the win!

One of my primary goals in talking to myself is to actually derive some new thoughts, some progress. It occurs to me that I may actually be more creative when voicing thoughts aloud, as it decreases the amount of conscious direction involved. One part of my brain is letting the conversation flow and verbalizing it, while another is listening and suddenly lights up when a good new phrase is expressed. Recording it and reviewing it later doubles and triples this.

In my case, I have found (at least recently) that my inner expressions were more repetitive and tended to re-hash things more often, compared to this style. This was not the case, as I recall, when I was a child, nor is it necessarily the case when the immersive daydreams become involved.

Writing is a sort of middle-ground between the verbalized and inner states, and arguably my favorite. I've been considering learning short-hand in order to write at a pace closer to my thoughts.

Maybe this is why I don't talk out loud so much and can keep it inside my head so well. The verbal processing is secondary...tertiary even...to the visual and kinesthetic, which are not so easily "leaked".

I've been reviewing mathematics and programming of late, and found these also trigger my verbalization much less. This definitely enforces, to me, the notion that verbalization is in part related to the subject matter, particularly if the verbal and auditory aspects are stimulating in some way. An old friend of mine had a habit of repeating a single word out of the last sentence he had just said - completing the sentence and saying one word from it two or three times more. This isn't unusual for Aspies, as I understand it. An interesting point is that I could always tell ahead of time which word he would choose to repeat, and it always had a certain...almost tactile attraction.

I must thank you for this conversation - it's leading me to look back at some of the thought processes that I have used less and less of late, and to reintroduce them. One painful side effect of my increased verbalization has been a decrease in the speed of my reading, and last night I decided to "switch on" my old speed. I do lose some of the flavor of the text, but it really was lovely to let my mind go full bore, and not all writing really requires (or deserves) that nuance.

 

[DC1346]

I've recently noticed I have this issue where I'll be muttering to myself the thoughts that are in my head. Has anyone here had this issue? How have you combated it? Do you think it's something I should try to quit to seem more normal?

Hah-hah ... YES!

The other day I was in class with my 4th period students. They had seat work assignments and were doing well. I remember thinking that they deserved a treat and to my surprise they all looked at me with huge grins on their faces.

I had inadvertently spoken my thoughts aloud.